THRIVE MINISTRIES
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March 3, 2016 – Thursday Morning E-Devotional
" THRIVE and Remember When ! PHYLLIS DILLER-ISMS" - from John (Ohio)

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood
type.
-Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why
take a chance? -Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like
shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the
same outfit in public. -Phyllis
Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. -Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move
in with them. -Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has
just been robbed. -Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk
and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis
Diller
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. But then I was in his room. -Phyllis
Diller
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the
next day.
-Phyllis Diller
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. -Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. -Phyllis
Diller
My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me. -Phyllis Diller
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago
it was grass.' -Phyllis
Diller
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing. -Phyllis Diller
"Life Is Short. Live It To The Fullest. It Has An Expiration Date"