Male Retreat: Opening the "Man Box"

[Bobby Cox]

Hi DYUSA,

I'm contacting you on behalf of a project that I'm working on in collaboration with Deaf Hope and Martin Dale-Hench.

We are putting together a pilot of a retreat for men to "open the man box" and become better male allies to females and other males.  The goal of the retreat is to help men unpack the sexism and male privilege in their "man box."

The retreat will be held the weekend of March 22, and we are asking DYUSA to help with the finances of this one-of-a-kind retreat.  We have invited specific men to be part of the workshop, men who have already started on the path of becoming male allies.

Specifically, we would like assistance with two things:

* Sponsoring or helping some individuals attend who need to pay to travel to the Bay Area.  (Flight costs, mostly, for one or two individuals)

* Sponsoring or helping specific speakers who have costs associated with them. (Travel and lodging, mostly).

In the future, we will work closer with DYUSA, Deaf Hope, and other organizations to spread the model of this retreat.

We would also like to invite DYUSA to be part of the retreat, and collaborate with us on a workshop -- especially if DYUSA is able to assist with sponsorship.  We think DYUSA is a perfect fit for this kind of retreat!

We already have a full list of participants, but please do feel free to contact us if you feel you are (or someone else is) a good fit for the pilot.  Keep in mind that the retreat will be intense and is better suited for the already-experienced person who has already begun unpacking their sexism.

What do you think?  If this is agreeable to DYUSA, we can discuss money specifics.  Please feel free to ask questions or make comments, I will answer all thoughts and/or concerns.

-Bobby and Martin

[Tristan Schaefer]

I like this idea

Sent from my iPhone

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[Mike Sidansky]

I think this is a great idea as well. We'll clearly need more specifics before we can move the discussion forward, but I don't see why DYUSA can't contribute on some level.

Request for information: How much money does DYUSA Bay Area Chapter have at the moment and are there any plans to host a camp this summer?

[Rima Cornish]

I love the idea. That is what DYUSA is! I agree with Mike. We need to look into our budget and also talk about summer camp.

I am hoping for other local chapters of west coast to host. I guess we will know more from board member jonathan Kessel  soon.

Rima

[Bobby Cox]

Hi Rima, everyone:

Great, I'm glad DYUSA likes the idea.  I'd like to move this discussion forward.  Rima, how can we best move forward?  Perhaps it would be best for me to discuss this proposal with a couple people and put forth a reasonable proposal to everyone for discussion?

-Bobby

[Bekah Guerrero]

Hi all; I agree. I have no idea how much the bay area chapter has, if we have more aside from the camp budget, I think it would be interesting to see this come to fruition. I however am concerned that this pilot is 'selective'.  While there clearly are some men who have been working on unpacking their male priviledges and more on facebook, there may be some other individuals who are not comfortable expressing this interest on facebook because of their writing abilities or feeling targeted but of whom could really benefit from this pilot project.  

Would there be consideration for having a open call for interested males? I understand intimacy is of importance for this to be successful. Perhaps those who come forward could be screened to see where their understanding of priviledges stand prior to agreeing to letting them join for safety and safe diagloue reasons. I just feel that doing something along these lines would help ensure that it isn't an exlusive process. 

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Bekah Guerrero

[Tara Holcomb]

hopefully, this will just be the beginning of many more workshops. deafhope advised that this be a selective process for this pilot group to ensure that the focus is on unpacking and creating safe spaces for dialogue on oppression and violence. this comes from our prior experiences with including men in domestic/sexual violence trainings.

representatives from several organizations were asked to participate. 

in a sense, this will lead the way to developing a curriculum that can be used for open groups and trainings. 

[Tara Holcomb]

as bobby said, if you all have ideas of who would be a good fit for this retreat. please do share!!! 

how about sponsoring a deaf youth to attend this retreat... in exchange, they could make a PSA or vlog and host a group for dyusa bay area??

[Bekah Guerrero]

Ah.  Thank you for elaborating more on the selective process. I appreciate the efforts being made to ensure that this will allow for unpacking in safe spaces... Will this information be shared with the community? 

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Bekah Guerrero

On Thu, Feb 28, 2013 at 9:49 AM, Tara Holcomb <tarakat...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Bekah Guerrero]

I'd love to see that happen!  you toook the words out of my mouth :)

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Bekah Guerrero

[Bekah Guerrero]

ay i should say, out of my hands hmmm :) 

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Bekah Guerrero

[Bobby Cox]

How about we do a Google Hangout and whoever is available can join in?  

Here's a Doodle for everyone:

http://doodle.com/xgw44kwyseffd8dh

Post we'll Hangout online at the time that the most people choose!

[Bekah Guerrero]

I appreciate your response, Martin. It would be incredible if the pilot is successful and we are able to continue to bring this dialogue and model of consciousness-training, as you stated, across the country. Thank you, and bobby,  for all you are doing. 

I'll check out the doodle. 

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Bekah Guerrero

On Thu, Feb 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM, Martin Dale-Hench <martin...@gmail.com> wrote:

Just repeating what Tara said - the goal of this is to have it expanded to several groups across the country, to start a wider dialogue and consciousness-raising among Deaf males, with a focus on masculinity, sexism and DV/SV. So the idea of sponsoring a Deaf youth to share what we learned and his experiences through PSA or with the DYUSA-BA is great, as it goes with our vision of spreading our dialogue. 

So, if DYUSA-BA sponsored someone coming, then we'll have him make a vlog, PSA, or workshop? If this is okay, we'll love to see this happen.

As for information-sharing, we have the goals of producing a PSA in the retreat and training the attendees to start retreats in other cities.

[Bobby Cox]

Hi everyone --  Not enough people replied to the Doodle, and the retreat is on the 22nd.  We need to know ASAP about this, so I'd like to suggest that unless someone disagrees, that we sponsor a round-trip ticket for Brandon Williams to come from DC.  I'd like to also suggest that he present to DYUSA in his own way -- via a vlog or article or workshop -- his experience with the retreat and cover some concepts?

What do you all think?

-Bobby

[Leala Holcomb]

I support Bobby's suggestion. :) I'm so excited for you all, it'll be an amazing process and experience! Really hope this is the beginning of an important and necessary transformation for males.

Leala

[Mike Sidansky]

While it'd be great to sponsor Brandon Williams, I think we need more information that we currently have available.

Budget- What is DYUSA's current budget? It'd give us an idea of what we can afford. (Martin, maybe you can help us out with this bit of information?)

How much money are you asking for? (Even ballpark figure would be awesome. It'd give us a starting point) 

C'mon guys-- I think we're all supportive of the idea. We just need more information. 

[Bobby Cox]

Mike -- Here's more information.

The cost of a flight from DC to here is approximately $400.  Last time I heard, DYUSA had around $2k-3k -- Martin is no longer in the bay area or involved in DYUSA Bay Area, so we need to have someone else take on the treasurer role.  But he should know the latest -- Martin?

-Bobby

[Mike Sidansky]

Thanks Bobby! Appreciate the speedy response.

Martin, I realize the budget isn't your responsibility anymore, but can you at least point us to the person who has the access to the account at the moment? 

[Rima Cornish]

Martin hasn't transfer bank acct to anyone. He plans to meet with me about it. He has also not annoynxe his resign. I guess once he get in town.. everything will be done. He has balance info.

Rima

On Mar 3, 2013 11:27 AM, "Mike Sidansky" <dcp...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Mike Sidansky]

Alright. Thank you for the clarification. 

[Bobby Cox]

FROM MARTIN:

Hello everybody,

Thank you for working with us on this. We have $2678.70 in our banking account.

As Bobby said, we plan to sponsor Brandon Williams so he can fly from DC to the Bay Area to partake in the retreat. It will be a little over $400 total. He then can contribute to DYUSA-Bay Area in return.

Thanks,

[Rima Cornish]

Brandon will be a great peraon... I hate to say but... I feel we Shld sponsor someone from bay area who will co.tribute to us more as being a local person. What do u think?

Rima

[Leala Holcomb]

There's no need for us to sponsor a local person because the training is free, local males can go for free.

People living in other states have to pay their way here. Those males are the ones who need sponsorship.

Leala

[Bekah Guerrero]

What I understand, it is actually a selective process since it is a pilot program and there are concerns about ensuring that there are safe spaces and a taken interest in having individuals who have already begun the unpacking process.… 

so basically it is not just free and 'open to any local male' interested…but yes,  if we were to sponsor someone local, it wouldn't cost us any money. Right? 

Rima, curious if you have a particular person in mind? 

and can someone answer about any Camp plans for DYUSA-BA for 2013 or 2014? and the costs of the previous camp? 

[Bekah Guerrero]

I am curious about whether DYUSA-BA plans to have a camp this year?  If so, what will the budget for that look like? How much was spent on the last camp? 

Having said that, I would love to see DYUSA-BA sponsor Brandon Williams for this retreat should finances permit. It would be wonderful to have Brandon host a workshop for DYUSA (a stand alone event or perhaps as a presenter for camp this summer if there is one happening.)

[Bobby Cox]

Agree on having Brandon host a workshop for camp, or a standalone event.

[Rima Cornish]

Thanks leala for clarify. Go for it.

Camp cost can be answer by leala or martin. Leala I believe was reponisble b4 Martin was selected at camp.

I dunno if we will have camp. Let's open new thread about it. Dyusa board also has say nothing about. I will check w them.

Rima

[Leala Holcomb]

Yeah, Bekah, thank you for clarifying what I meant.

We do not have any plans on hosting a camp this summer unless someone volunteers to do it.

Most of the current money in our bank account came from profits from the local camp two years ago. The camp cost $1,900, but I reaped a lot of money from sponsors for the camp.

Leala

[Mike Sidansky]

I think lot of concerns regarding the amount of money it'd take to set up a camp is reasonable especially since lot of plans are still up in the air and I don't think any of us want to end up empty handed when we begin to finalize our plans for the camp. 

I also think we need to acknowledge that lot of pressure and high cost associated with this is due to the last minute nature of the request. 

Yet, this workshop deserves our support and we should contribute to it any way we can. While I haven't met Brandon, I've only heard great things about him and I think it is unfair that he needs to experience full financial brunt of the airfare in order to be a better ally.  

How is this for a compromise: We could cover half of Brandon's airfare in exchange for 1 vlog, PSA, or presentation of his choice? 

[Bobby Cox]

I'm generally in favor of covering the entire cost for Brandon as DYUSA has plenty of money, but I'll let you fine folks make the final decision.  Half would be better than nothing!

-Bobby

[Rima Cornish]

Brandon is alreDy a great ally. He already price himself as well as some others. I am going w full.

Rima

[megan malzkuhn]

I agree, full airfare and with an agreement from him to do a social awareness project for Bay Area :)

[shira Grabelsky]

Sorry I'm late in coming to the game and am rooting for this idea. 

Am supportive of a full airfare for Brandon Williams and for him to create a workshop for this area. 

We have the funds and are giving it back to the community.   Hpefully this will be a pattern the greater community recognizes, resulting in further financial support for DYUSA's future endeavors.  

shira. 

[Mike Sidansky]

Hey guys! Am assuming that the vote was passed and you guys already took the money, but I would like to know the latest updates.

Did Brandon get the ticket yet? Receipt? 

Martin, do you think you could take the opportunity to pass on the treasurer's position to somebody (I nominate Rima) when you get back? I think it'd help avoid lot of headaches in the short and long term. 

[Rima Cornish]

I am already chair of bay area. Someone will need to be treasurer... And fyi this summer is due for new chair and treasurer.

[Tara Holcomb]

agreed about electing a new treasurer. why don't we have a meeting soon to touch bases and plan for this summer?