Vacuum cleaner

[Ray Scheufler]

I was cleaning up some things at home and came across an old vacuum cleaner. Does the space need it?

Ray Scheufler 

[Matt Amue]

Hey Ray,

Yes, that'd be awesome. One of the vacuums died last cleaning night. Thanks--Matt

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[Jeff Hagerman]

Please define "died".

Does the motor stop?

Did it stop sucking up dirt?

Did the beater bar (the brush thing that contacts the floor) stop turning?

Where is the vacuum now?

Thanks

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[Matt Amue]

Everyone knew it was the vacuums' last day on the force. The retirement party was all planned. A long decorated career. The vacuum had cleaned office floors. Hardwood. Carpet, even shag. Sometimes even wood shop floors.

It's superstition that you don't talk about your retirement on the last day. All the party stuff was a surprise. It was just another day for ole' vaccy. Just happen to also be the vacuum's last day in more ways than one.

Then it happened, out of nowhere. Live had this type of moment in mind, I'm sure. Lightning crashes, an old vacuum dies.

I held vaccy that night, as the motor sputtered and stopped. I knew that was it. The last berber vaccy would touch would be the hallway's. It's funny if you think about it. Hallways are a kind of transitional place. Vaccy would pass through one last time on their way through the veil.

Anyway, probably something with the motor. It sounded weird before it slowed down and stopped. I emailed tools when it happened.

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[Jeff Hagerman]

Where will the wake be held?

Will there be space for all of the other vacuums?

'Open casket so we can say our proper goodbyes?

It is very sad. His life really sucked.

(Sigh)

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[Ray Scheufler]

I'll bring my vacuum down.  I don't know when I'll make the trek.  I make no guarantees about the quality of the vacuum.  I'll say "ran when parked" and "I know what I've got, no low balls".  It probably needs to have all the filters cleaned.  If it doesn't work the space can throw it away, I don't want it back.

Ray Scheufler

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