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Debbie
Nov 20, 2007, 12:17:59 PM11/20/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
I am sorry I am not more active on this board or in this group.
I am lost and I am trying to find my way.
I cannot find a balance between having a romantic relationship and being an energy healer.
I have had messages and signs and I know I have been called to walk in the Light and to spread Health and Healing and the message f what we are doing to the most incredible place, this planet that we call home.
I am enrolled for an Introductory QiGong class, I have been pulled towards it, I actually had some of those incredible "is this a coincidence?" moments recently.
I don't know what to do, I could walk away from everything tomorrow and go and do anything necessary to develop to the level that I am supposed to be at. I FEEL like that is what I am SUPPOSED to do. Bt is that a defense mechanism on my part trying to give me an "out"? or is it actual guidance?!!! How do you know the difference between the voices that you hear inside?
But I am in a relationship and he would be devestated. Why is it so difficult for those of us who are called to find a help mate? Someone who can support us instead of drawing from us? I finally figured out this year through meditation that the reason men have been drawn to me in a way that is almost harmfully obsessive is because they have never been shown love before. It breaks my heart the number of fractured beings I see stumbling around attempting to achieve some semblance of normalcy in their lives, not knowing what it is that is missing in theirs. Only knowing that somehow they feel an emptiness or a void...
As soon as they are in my presence they are drawn like a moth to a candlelight. The only thing they know to acquaint that with is romantic love. I have seen it with other people who have a higher vibration. Massage therapists around the world have this problem with counter-transference...
I am on a rant now and I did not mean to ramble, I only saw that Tiggy had posted and the reason I have not posted is that many of the posts that I read were old and it seemed that no one was really participating.
Well, here I am, :) ready to stand up and be counted, and desperately needing some interaction with my peers!!!
My name is Debbie, I live in Missouri, I have been doing instinctive energy work and some healing since I was very young. I have had a life for the story books; home birthed and home schooled, raised on a farm by an alchoholic father who was disabled so my mother worked. I am the 7th of 12. We lost 4...I have always been a strong empath. I grew up and did all the things you are supposed to with your life, married the guy my parents wanted, built a home and a business and supported him in his endeavors. In 2005 I walked away form the American Dream. I started over alone and with absolutely nothing. I went to massage therapy school, I graduated at the top of my class, I started working as a therapist the day I graduated. Now here I am, a little over a year later and I am ready, the time is now. I need to take the next step. I have since taken a Healing Touch Class which was like elementary school. Even though I had never seen the methods used before I was showing my classmates how to do it within hours. I never made it back for another class. I know when I am supposed to do something because everything will fall in to place, that is how I know when I am on the right path. I know that with this QiGong class I am signed up for that it is the next step, it is where I am supposed to go. But what then? I have already given my notice to move out of this apartment where I have lived for almost 2 years because my boyfriend and I are supposed to rent a house together. But I know that he is nowhere near the path that I am on and I don't know if that means that I am not letting him get a foothold on it, or if he is just not able to walk beside me on my spiritual path...
Bah! I am rambling again! LOL
Well met my friends, and forgive my rambling, this is weighing on my mind...
Namaste,
Debbie Smith, LMT
Springfield, Missouri
I am lost and I am trying to find my way.
I cannot find a balance between having a romantic relationship and being an energy healer.
I have had messages and signs and I know I have been called to walk in the Light and to spread Health and Healing and the message f what we are doing to the most incredible place, this planet that we call home.
I am enrolled for an Introductory QiGong class, I have been pulled towards it, I actually had some of those incredible "is this a coincidence?" moments recently.
I don't know what to do, I could walk away from everything tomorrow and go and do anything necessary to develop to the level that I am supposed to be at. I FEEL like that is what I am SUPPOSED to do. Bt is that a defense mechanism on my part trying to give me an "out"? or is it actual guidance?!!! How do you know the difference between the voices that you hear inside?
But I am in a relationship and he would be devestated. Why is it so difficult for those of us who are called to find a help mate? Someone who can support us instead of drawing from us? I finally figured out this year through meditation that the reason men have been drawn to me in a way that is almost harmfully obsessive is because they have never been shown love before. It breaks my heart the number of fractured beings I see stumbling around attempting to achieve some semblance of normalcy in their lives, not knowing what it is that is missing in theirs. Only knowing that somehow they feel an emptiness or a void...
As soon as they are in my presence they are drawn like a moth to a candlelight. The only thing they know to acquaint that with is romantic love. I have seen it with other people who have a higher vibration. Massage therapists around the world have this problem with counter-transference...
I am on a rant now and I did not mean to ramble, I only saw that Tiggy had posted and the reason I have not posted is that many of the posts that I read were old and it seemed that no one was really participating.
Well, here I am, :) ready to stand up and be counted, and desperately needing some interaction with my peers!!!
My name is Debbie, I live in Missouri, I have been doing instinctive energy work and some healing since I was very young. I have had a life for the story books; home birthed and home schooled, raised on a farm by an alchoholic father who was disabled so my mother worked. I am the 7th of 12. We lost 4...I have always been a strong empath. I grew up and did all the things you are supposed to with your life, married the guy my parents wanted, built a home and a business and supported him in his endeavors. In 2005 I walked away form the American Dream. I started over alone and with absolutely nothing. I went to massage therapy school, I graduated at the top of my class, I started working as a therapist the day I graduated. Now here I am, a little over a year later and I am ready, the time is now. I need to take the next step. I have since taken a Healing Touch Class which was like elementary school. Even though I had never seen the methods used before I was showing my classmates how to do it within hours. I never made it back for another class. I know when I am supposed to do something because everything will fall in to place, that is how I know when I am on the right path. I know that with this QiGong class I am signed up for that it is the next step, it is where I am supposed to go. But what then? I have already given my notice to move out of this apartment where I have lived for almost 2 years because my boyfriend and I are supposed to rent a house together. But I know that he is nowhere near the path that I am on and I don't know if that means that I am not letting him get a foothold on it, or if he is just not able to walk beside me on my spiritual path...
Bah! I am rambling again! LOL
Well met my friends, and forgive my rambling, this is weighing on my mind...
Namaste,
Debbie Smith, LMT
Springfield, Missouri
DFBear
Nov 20, 2007, 1:58:06 PM11/20/07
to DreamHealer
Hi Debbie
First thing you want to know is that you are not lost. It may seem
that way, but its only your mind. It likes to try and control things.
When things don't seem to be known, it makes a story about it.
Sometimes, it makes a story that it knows, and glosses over the things
it doesn't. Sometimes it makes a story that it doesn't know, and we
have a big drama.
The mind is kind of like a dog. If we give it direction and security,
we will have a faithful companion. If we don't, it will be insecure
and feel a need to lead but not know how in a human culture, so behave
erratically and so on. The mind is the same way. Its a useful tool,
but if we are not founded within, it will try and take over.
Many people in our culture tend to create a story of knowing. We make
stories about ourselves and our lives, and live as robots to these
stories. Essentially, we live in our heads. We hate change which is of
course inevitable. Other sorts of people, often people who are more
empathic tend to the second style. Because of the strong emotional
sensitivity, we get overshadowed by feelings and instead make a drama
of being lost or of some other tumultuous thing. Because we have our
attention on these ideas, that is what we create. (not attract, create
- we're more powerful than magnets) Our life is then a constant
drama.
You may want to explore a little of Judith Orloff. She's an empathic
psychiatrist who had to learn to manage those values in her so the
empathy was a talent rather than a burden. Because of your family
situation, you may have attracted what she calls energy vampires into
your life. Its key you learn to manage that. To know when you're being
drained and nip those energy connections off. And learn to ground and
replenish. You are after all sitting in a sea of energy. And the stuff
of that energy is love. ;-)
You also need something to ground you within. With emotional
sensitivity, you want a strong base. Then you can use your empathy to
advantage rather than being overwhelmed by it. Meditation works well
for many people. Once you connect to the inner silence, you will feel
much better and no longer buffeted by the winds of feeling.
Your goal should be the connection with the well of love within. Where
love can flow unconditionally. From that place, no emotion or
suffering can overshadow you as love is all. Then relationship is
based on sharing of love, not mutual neediness.
Take care of yourself first, and everything else will be taken care
of. You can only heal the world by healing yourself. Then you can help
the fractured.
From your description, there is a layer of uncertainty over top of a
natural progression of the growth of your talents. You may find it
useful to know there is a perfection to your life. It likely is not be
apparent at the time, while we thrash around over the latest reactions
(note I didn't say circumstances -I said reactions. Its our response
that determines our experience, not the circumstances). But in
retrospect, our life will come to make complete sense, under all the
noise of the drama.
Perhaps theres a way to explain this. What determines how you respond
to a given circumstance? Your mood? Your state of mind? And what are
those within? Your state of consciousness. It it is your state of
consciousness in the moment that determines how you respond and thus
the consequences of your response. And what determines your state of
consciousness? Consciousness itself. Consciousness is constantly
tuning our state to determine the outcome. And who is this
consciousness? We are. It is us, underneath all the noise and drama,
carefully guiding us through the maze of life so we'll come out the
other side, knowing who we are and why we're here.
That is there within us. The still small voice. Not the voice of drama
nor the voice of busy-ness. Not the voice that says must or should,
nor the voice that judges and complains. Its the voice that is calm.
The voice that is peaceful and loving, that sooths us. Thats the voice
to listen to, if you will hear it.
I'm David and I live on the coast of Canada, not far from Adam.
But thats just the story. (laughs)
D
First thing you want to know is that you are not lost. It may seem
that way, but its only your mind. It likes to try and control things.
When things don't seem to be known, it makes a story about it.
Sometimes, it makes a story that it knows, and glosses over the things
it doesn't. Sometimes it makes a story that it doesn't know, and we
have a big drama.
The mind is kind of like a dog. If we give it direction and security,
we will have a faithful companion. If we don't, it will be insecure
and feel a need to lead but not know how in a human culture, so behave
erratically and so on. The mind is the same way. Its a useful tool,
but if we are not founded within, it will try and take over.
Many people in our culture tend to create a story of knowing. We make
stories about ourselves and our lives, and live as robots to these
stories. Essentially, we live in our heads. We hate change which is of
course inevitable. Other sorts of people, often people who are more
empathic tend to the second style. Because of the strong emotional
sensitivity, we get overshadowed by feelings and instead make a drama
of being lost or of some other tumultuous thing. Because we have our
attention on these ideas, that is what we create. (not attract, create
- we're more powerful than magnets) Our life is then a constant
drama.
You may want to explore a little of Judith Orloff. She's an empathic
psychiatrist who had to learn to manage those values in her so the
empathy was a talent rather than a burden. Because of your family
situation, you may have attracted what she calls energy vampires into
your life. Its key you learn to manage that. To know when you're being
drained and nip those energy connections off. And learn to ground and
replenish. You are after all sitting in a sea of energy. And the stuff
of that energy is love. ;-)
You also need something to ground you within. With emotional
sensitivity, you want a strong base. Then you can use your empathy to
advantage rather than being overwhelmed by it. Meditation works well
for many people. Once you connect to the inner silence, you will feel
much better and no longer buffeted by the winds of feeling.
Your goal should be the connection with the well of love within. Where
love can flow unconditionally. From that place, no emotion or
suffering can overshadow you as love is all. Then relationship is
based on sharing of love, not mutual neediness.
Take care of yourself first, and everything else will be taken care
of. You can only heal the world by healing yourself. Then you can help
the fractured.
From your description, there is a layer of uncertainty over top of a
natural progression of the growth of your talents. You may find it
useful to know there is a perfection to your life. It likely is not be
apparent at the time, while we thrash around over the latest reactions
(note I didn't say circumstances -I said reactions. Its our response
that determines our experience, not the circumstances). But in
retrospect, our life will come to make complete sense, under all the
noise of the drama.
Perhaps theres a way to explain this. What determines how you respond
to a given circumstance? Your mood? Your state of mind? And what are
those within? Your state of consciousness. It it is your state of
consciousness in the moment that determines how you respond and thus
the consequences of your response. And what determines your state of
consciousness? Consciousness itself. Consciousness is constantly
tuning our state to determine the outcome. And who is this
consciousness? We are. It is us, underneath all the noise and drama,
carefully guiding us through the maze of life so we'll come out the
other side, knowing who we are and why we're here.
That is there within us. The still small voice. Not the voice of drama
nor the voice of busy-ness. Not the voice that says must or should,
nor the voice that judges and complains. Its the voice that is calm.
The voice that is peaceful and loving, that sooths us. Thats the voice
to listen to, if you will hear it.
I'm David and I live on the coast of Canada, not far from Adam.
But thats just the story. (laughs)
D
Elke Hutton
Nov 20, 2007, 2:08:04 PM11/20/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
Hi Debbie,
I just read your letter and please bear with me, because my reply will be short and to the point because I have difficulty typing for long due to pain.
I just wanted to give you some food for thought:
1.) You are already a walking example of a lightworker in action simply by being alive and living day to day. Everyone you come in contact with is healed by your lovely energy, so just continue on this path as it evolves.
2.) Just because you live one path does not mean that you have to give up on your relationship. The person you are with may have something entirely different to offer to the world! A successful relationship happens when both parties are able to complete their journeys and respect the light within each other..no matter how different.
You may (if you have not already) read the Four
agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I am also an empath and can relate. When I don't know what to do I do nothing until life shows me for certain which road I must take. The more mistakes you make the more you learn, so all is good. The light within you will show you the way. You already know when you are in flow!
Wishing you peace of mind, love light and healing,
Elke
Be smarter than spam. See how smart SpamGuard is at giving junk email the boot with the All-new Yahoo! Mail
Debbie
Nov 21, 2007, 4:02:36 PM11/21/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
Hi David,
It is funny how easy it is for the world and its little dramas to cause a reaction when you do not take time to take care of yourself.
I am speaking of myself of course, but I have seen it in others as well. I meditated yesterday and afterwards my mind was so much cleared. My boyfriend and I had a long talk when he got home from work and were able to work out the things that were really at the core of the drama.
I think my worst habit is not taking care of my self. I am working on that.
I know the way that I wrote yesterday was jumbled with a story and a drama and really reflected exactly my mindset at the time.
Thank you for your wise words, it helps so much sometimes to have someone state what should have been so easy to see.
*BIG SMILE*
~Debbie~--
Debbie Smith, LMT
417.379.6911
Springfield Missouri
It is funny how easy it is for the world and its little dramas to cause a reaction when you do not take time to take care of yourself.
I am speaking of myself of course, but I have seen it in others as well. I meditated yesterday and afterwards my mind was so much cleared. My boyfriend and I had a long talk when he got home from work and were able to work out the things that were really at the core of the drama.
I think my worst habit is not taking care of my self. I am working on that.
I know the way that I wrote yesterday was jumbled with a story and a drama and really reflected exactly my mindset at the time.
Thank you for your wise words, it helps so much sometimes to have someone state what should have been so easy to see.
*BIG SMILE*
~Debbie~
Debbie Smith, LMT
417.379.6911
Springfield Missouri
Lisa Small
Nov 22, 2007, 8:45:41 AM11/22/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
You go girl!
Debbie <jour...@gmail.com> wrote:
Debbie <jour...@gmail.com> wrote:
Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now.
Lisa Small
Nov 22, 2007, 8:50:07 AM11/22/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
Thank-you David...couldn't have said it better myself.
Lisa Small
Nov 22, 2007, 9:34:05 AM11/22/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
Thank-you David...I couldn't have said it better myself.....very meaningful and insightful communication between the two of you. I love learning that way. Thank-you also to Debbie for having the courage to post her feelings about her situation. I learned something from both of you. Many thanks!
Debbie <jour...@gmail.com> wrote:
Debbie <jour...@gmail.com> wrote:
Be a better pen pal. Text or chat with friends inside Yahoo! Mail. See how.
Debbie
Nov 22, 2007, 11:30:50 AM11/22/07
to dream...@googlegroups.com
Hey Elke,
Thank you for typing in spite of your pain. :)
I was really struggling...we all have those days right? :)
I meditated and determined what was at the root of my distress, not the least of which was that I was putting all of my time and effort in to the people around me and completely ignoring my own needs.
I love being a massage therapist, it is all the things that appeal to me and I get to make a living at it! It is such a blessing.
I have read the Four Agreements, I have read so much that could have helped me if I were centered / focused enough to have pulled from it. :) Sometimes it seems that what helps me more than anything else is interaction with people who understand.
Thank you so much for understanding. :)
~Debbie~
Thank you for typing in spite of your pain. :)
I was really struggling...we all have those days right? :)
I meditated and determined what was at the root of my distress, not the least of which was that I was putting all of my time and effort in to the people around me and completely ignoring my own needs.
I love being a massage therapist, it is all the things that appeal to me and I get to make a living at it! It is such a blessing.
I have read the Four Agreements, I have read so much that could have helped me if I were centered / focused enough to have pulled from it. :) Sometimes it seems that what helps me more than anything else is interaction with people who understand.
Thank you so much for understanding. :)
~Debbie~
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