Fwd: Painful truths told in jest - only in India

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From: "Sudhir Caitanya (das) JPS (Bangalore - IN)" <Sudhir.Ca...@pamho.net>
Date: 20 January 2017 at 2:07:11 PM IST
Subject: Painful truths told in jest - only in India

A hilarious example of what Indian bureaucracy can do...it cuts very close
to the bone as the humor exposes many PC truths in modern India. So laugh
or cry.

__________________

      A Team comprising of a Writer, a Producer, a Director, etc applied to
the Government of India (Congress, this satire is from 2012) for financial
assistance to produce a Movie on Mahabharata and even submitted the script.

      All of them committed suicide later and the reason will be very
obvious once you have read the reply from the Congress Govt.

      Dated .2012

      Subject: Mahabharata

      To: The Writer, Film Director & Film Producer, Mumbai

      Ref: Film story submitted by you, regarding financing of films by
Government of India , Your letter dt. ............ . ......... .

      The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that
the Government has examined your proposal for financing a film
called ''Mahabharat' . The Very High Level Committee constituted for this
purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission, National
Commission for Women and Labour Commission, in addition to various
Ministries and State Governments and have formed definitive opinions about
the script.

Their observations are as below:

      1. In the script submitted by you it is shown that there were two
sets of cousins, namely, the Kauravas, numbering one hundred, and the
Pandavas, numbering five. The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare has
pointed out that these numbers are high, well above the norm prescribed for
families by them.
It is brought to your kind attention that when the Government is spending
huge amounts for promoting family planning, this will send wrong signals to
the public.Therefore, it is recommended that there may be only three
Kauravas and one Pandava.

      2. The Ministry of Parliamentary Affairs has raised an issue whether
it is suitable to depict kings and emperors in this democratic age.
Therefore,it is suggested that the Kauravas may be depicted as Honourable
Members of Parliament (Lok Sabha) and the Pandava maybe depicted as
Honourable Member of Parliament(Rajya Sabha). The ending of the film shows
the victory of the said Pandavas over the said Kauravas. The ending may be
suitably modified so that neither of the Honourable Members of Parliament
are shown as being inferior to the other.

      3. The Ministry of Science and Technology has observed that the
manner of birth of Kauravas is suggestive of human cloning, a technology
banned in India.This may be changed to normal birth.


      4. The National Commission for Women has objected that the father of
Pandavas, one Sri Pandu is depicted as bigamous, and also there is only one
wife for the Pandavas in common. Therefore suitable changes maybe made in
the said script so that the said Sri Pandu is not depicted as bigamous.
However, with the reduction in number of Pandavas as suggested above, the
issue of polyandry can be addressed without further trouble.

      5. The Commission for the Physically Challenged has observed that the
portrayal of the visually impaired character 'Dhritharastra' is derogatory.
Therefore the said character may not be shown as visually impaired.

      6. The Department of Women and Child Development have highlighted
that the public disrobing of one female character called 'Draupadi' is
objectionable and derogatory to women in general.
      Further the Home Ministry anticipates that depiction of such scenes
may create law and order problem and at the same time invite strong protests
from the different women forums. Such scenes may also invite penal action
under SITA (Suppression of Immoral Traffic Act), therefore they may be
avoided and deleted from the film.

      7. It is felt that showing the Pandava and the Kauravas as gamblers
will be anti-social and counter-productive as it might encourage gambling.
Therefore, the said Pandava and Kauravas may be shown to have engaged in
horse racing. (Hon. Supreme Court has held horse racing not to be gambling)

      8. The Pandavas are shown as working in the King Virat's employment
without receiving any salary. According to the Human Rights Commission, this
amounts to bonded labour and may attrac provisions of The Bonded Labour
System (Abolition) Act, 1976.
      This may be corrected at once.

      9. In the ensuing war, one character by name Sri Abhimanyu has been
shown as fighting. The National Labour Commission has observed that, war
being a hazardous industry, and the said character being 16 years old, this
depiction will be construed as a case of child labour. Also there is no
record of his being paid any compensation. This may also be deemed to be
violatory of the provisions of The Child Labour (Prohibition and Regulation)
Act,1986 and Minimum Wages Act, 1948. Such references in the film may be
removed.

      10. The character 'Sri Krishna' has been depicted as wearing a
peacock feather. The peacock is our National Bird and wearing dresses made
from peacock feather is an offence under the Wild Life Protection Act, 1972.
This may not be depicted.

      11. Smt M. Gandhi has raised very serious objection for using any
elephants or horses in war scenes, since there is every scope for
mistreatment and injury to the said animals. The provisions of the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act, 1890 and Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals (Amendment) Act, 1960 would be applicable in the instant case.
Suitable changes may be made in the script to address the objections raised.

      12. In pursuance of the Memorandum of Ministry of Finance regarding
austerity measures, it is informed that in the battle field sequences, only
ten soldiers may be allowed for each side.
      Also, all the characters may be shown to have obtained a valid
licence under the Arms Act, 1959 as well as the Indian Arms Act,1878.

      You are therefore requested to modify the script along the lines
indicated above and resubmit it to the undersigned at the earliest for
reconsideration

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