7/27, Stubblefield Canyon to West Walker river trail, Mile 1000.5
Aaron Doss
abundance. For us one thousand miles says so much, both positive and
negative, it says "good, you have come so far", yet you have so much
more to go. It says "you have what it takes to make it all the way",
yet our bodies scream out in protest. One thousand says, "think of
how much you have seen/smelled/felt struggled and been rewarded", yet
the mind says I am full like an overflowing cup unable to accept more
graciously. It's a very double feeling, an unwelcome one.
I know for a fact the human body is extremely adaptable and can take
horrendous abuse. And even still the mind is definitely stronger.
Our determination is starting to weaken and we are thinking more and
more of taking a break from the trail.
A lot of questions float through my mind; Does this mean that our
trip was for nothing? Does it show a weakness of character? What
will people think about us and our trip? Slowly
answers/justifications come: Of course the trip was worth it, think of
all you have experienced. How many people would actually attempt
something like this, it takes strong character. And at some level I
don't really care what people think, everyone sees what they want to
see anyways.
In my mind these answers are not all convincing though and in truth I
feel unsettled about this whole experience. Time is needed to digest
and go over the last few months, this trail both poses and answers a
lifetime of questions, in the end you are back where you started, how
ironic.
We feel that the end of our hike is near, but not our journey. I have
decided to hike more of the PCT this year after some time in
civilization to heal up, probably the Washington section when the pack
comes through. Nathalie is not sure if she would like to hike more,
as she puts it "I have had my fill", which is understandable. I can't
blame her, she knows what it is like to hike a long distance trail
now, we did the miles, got the blisters, cried, overcame obstacles,
moved beyond preconceived ideas and fears about living in the wild,
and in the end she decided it wasn't for her. I personally haven't
settled my mind on it, there are aspects of hiking which I really
enjoy and those which I certainly dislike, that's why I want to hike
more this summer, and get another taste.
Aaron