3 Lessons from My Father 从父亲学到的三个教训

[Dexu Xia]

3 Lessons from My Father   

by Candy Arrington

     The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. Psalm 16:6 ESV

      Recently, a cousin and I had a conversation about the blessing of growing up with good fathers. As adults and having interacted with many types of people with very different father experiences, we are reminded afresh what a gift it is to have had godly fathers.

      Father’s Day is bittersweet for me. My father died thirty years ago this year. I loved him, and I miss him, but in many ways, he is still with me. I can hear his soft southern drawl, see his lopsided grin, and envision his strong hands. Daddy is with me most in the lessons he taught me about life and faith.

      My father was a builder, and I often walked job sites with him. One of the first life lessons I learned is things are not always as they seem.    During the “stake off” portion of building, the footprint of a house often appears smaller than its true size. The wooden stakes and ditches dug before constructing the foundation are somewhat deceptive in conveying the actual size of the house. Likewise, our view is sometimes skewed regarding people or opportunities. Only with wisdom, experience, and God-perception can we learn to see beyond appearances. 

      A second lesson I learned from my father was the importance of a level, firm foundation. Builders who don’t take time to do the necessary site work, wait for the dirt to settle, and pause to measure to ensure a level, plumb, straight foundation run into problems later in the building process. My father likened this to building a sturdy faith foundation through prayer, Bible study, and spiritual growth.

      A third lesson my father taught me comes straight from Scripture, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10 ESV). I witnessed my father “do good” to the men who worked for him. I especially remember one hot summer day when he came home and took clothes and shoes from his closet and drawers and asked my mother what cooking items she could part with. When I asked Daddy what he was doing, he said, “The house of one of my men burned last night and he needs help.” Doubtless, that help also included financial assistance.

      Following my father’s death, I heard many stories of ways he had helped others in need. His giving was practical, without fanfare, and service-oriented, like voluntarily re-screening a widow’s porch, or maintaining rental properties in town for missionary families overseas. Daddy’s heart for service taught me to notice needs and give graciously according to the ways God has blessed me.

      Perhaps you do not have pleasant memories of your father or know him at all. If that is your experience, look to your Heavenly Father as your example for love, grace, forgiveness, and relationship.

父亲给我的 3 个教训   作者：糖果·阿灵顿  

经文：用绳量给我的地界，坐落在佳美之处。我的产业实在美好。（诗篇16：6）

      最近，我和一个表弟聊起了和好爸爸一起长大的福气。作为成年人，并且与许多有着截然不同父亲经历的人互动，我们俩再次被提醒，拥有敬虔的父亲是一种多么大的恩赐。父亲节对我来说是苦乐参半。我父亲在三十年前去世了。我爱他，想念他，但在很多方面他仍与我同在。我可以听到他柔和的南方语调，看到他歪歪的笑容，想象出他强壮的双手。父亲最多与我同在一起的是在他教我的关于生活和信仰的功课中。

      我父亲是一名建筑工人，我经常和他一起到工地去。在我最早学到的人生教训之一，就是事情并不总是像看起来那样的。在建筑物的“放样”部分，房屋的占地面积通常看起来比其实际尺寸小。打地基的木桩和沟渠有时候会使房屋看起来比较大。同样，我们有时候会在观察人或衡量机会方面出现偏差。只有智慧、经验和上帝赐的洞察力，我们才能学会超越表象。

      我从父亲那里学到的第二个教训是一个平整、坚实的基础的重要性。如果建筑商不肯花时间对地基做必要的整理，不肯等待泥土沉淀后再做测量，以确保水平、垂直、笔直的地基，那他就等着在建筑过程后期出现问题。我父亲将此比作通过祈祷、圣经学习和灵性成长来建立坚固的信仰基础。

      我父亲教给我的第三课直接来自圣经：“所以，既然有机会，就当向众人行善，向信徒一家的人更当如此”（加拉太书 6:10 ESV）。我亲眼目睹了我父亲对为他工作的人“行善”。我特别记得一个炎热的夏日，他回到家，从衣柜和抽屉里拿出衣服和鞋子，又问我妈妈，哪些厨具她可以给出去。当我问爸爸他在做什么时，他说：“昨晚，我的一个工友家的房子着火了，他需要帮助。”毫无疑问，父亲还会给这位工人经济上的援助。

      父亲去世后，我听到了许多他帮助有需要的人的故事。他的捐赠是务实的，不张扬的，是以服务为导向，比如自愿重新整修寡妇家的门廊，或为海外传教士家庭维护他们城里的出租物业。父亲服侍他人之心教会了我，要注意周围人的需求，并按照上帝祝福我的方式慷慨地给予。

      也许你对你父亲没有愉快的回忆，或者根本不认识他。如果这是你的经验，请以你的天父为榜样，让你得到爱、恩典、宽恕和关系。