Coffee Breath 咖啡气味

[Dexu Xia]

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

I was sitting in my chair one morning years ago when my youngest came downstairs. She made a beeline for me, jumping up onto my lap. I gave her a fatherly squeeze and a gentle kiss on the head, and she squealed with delight. But then she furrowed her brow, crinkled her nose, and shot an accusatory glance at my coffee mug. “Daddy,” she announced solemnly. “I love you, and I like you, but I don’t like your smell.”

My daughter couldn’t have known it, but she spoke with grace and truth: she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but she felt compelled to tell me something. And sometimes we need to do that in our relationships.  

In Ephesians 4, Paul zeroes in on how we relate to each other—especially when telling difficult truths. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (v. 2). Humility, gentleness, and patience form our relational foundation. Cultivating those character qualities as God guides us will help us “[speak] the truth in love” (v. 15) and seek to communicate “what is helpful for building others up according to their needs” (v. 29).

No one likes being confronted about weaknesses and blind spots. But when something about us “smells,” God can use faithful friends to speak into our lives with grace, truth, humility, and gentleness.

By:  Adam Holz

When has someone gently confronted you? What do you think is most important when you lovingly address a weakness you see in others?

Father, help me to humbly receive correction, and help me to offer it with love, grace, and gentleness

凡事谦虚、温柔、忍耐，用爱心互相宽容。—以弗所书4章2节

多年前的一个早上，我正坐在椅子上享受我的咖啡，小女儿一下楼就直奔向我，高兴地跳到我的大腿上。我紧紧地拥抱她，并在她额头上亲了一下，她高兴地放声尖叫。但随后她蹙了蹙眉，皱了皱鼻子，带有指责意味地朝我的咖啡杯瞥了一眼，煞有介事地宣布：“爸爸，我爱你，我也喜欢你。但是，我不喜欢你嘴巴的气味。”

我女儿不可能懂得要用爱心说实话的道理，但她却做到了。她觉得有必要告诉我一些事，却又不想伤及我的感受。有时候，在人际关系中，我们也需要这么做。

在以弗所书4章，保罗强调我们该如何与人相处，尤其是要说出逆耳的忠言之时。保罗说：“凡事谦虚、温柔、忍耐，用爱心互相宽容”（2节）。谦虚、温柔和忍耐，是构成人际关系的基石。我们靠着上帝的指导，培养出这些品格特质，将有助于我们“用爱心说诚实话”（15节），并能在与人沟通时“随事说造就人的好话，叫听见的人得益处”（29节）。

没有人喜欢被指出弱点或盲点。可是，当我们在某些事上有“气味”时，上帝也会藉着忠实的朋友，以恩慈、诚实、谦虚及温柔，对我们说诚实话。

作者：  何安德

何时曾有人温柔地指正你？
当你凭爱心指出他人的缺点时，你认为最需要注意的是什么呢？

亲爱的天父，请帮助我能谦卑地接纳指正，并帮助我能以恩慈、温柔及爱心去劝告他人。