The Marriage Metaphor 婚姻的比喻

[Dexu Xia]

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2

After twenty-two years together, I sometimes wonder how my marriage to Merryn works. I’m a writer; Merryn is a statistician. I work with words; she works with numbers. I want beauty; she wants function. We come from different worlds.

Merryn arrives to appointments early; I’m occasionally late. I try new things on the menu; she orders the same. After twenty minutes at an art gallery, I’m just getting started, while Merryn is already in the cafe downstairs wondering how much longer I’ll be. We give each other many opportunities to learn patience!

We do have things in common—a shared sense of humor, a love of travel, and a common faith that helps us pray through options and compromise as needed. With this shared base, our differences even work to our advantage. Merryn has helped me learn to relax, while I’ve helped her grow in discipline. Working with our differences has made us better people.

Paul uses marriage as a metaphor for the church (Ephesians 5:21–33), and with good reason. Like marriage, church brings very different people together, requiring them to develop humility and patience and to “[bear] with one another in love” (4:2). And, as in marriage, a shared base of faith and mutual service helps a church become unified and mature (vv. 11–13).

Differences in relationships can cause great frustration—in the church and in marriage. But managed well, they can help us become more Christlike.

How have differences between you and those close to you helped you both to grow? How can differences between church members help to develop godliness?

Heavenly Father, please use our differences to help us mature.

凡事谦虚、温柔、忍耐，用爱心互相宽容。—以弗所书4章2节

我与妻子茉琳结婚22年，有时我会感到困惑，两个截然不同的人为何婚姻会美满。我是作家，她是统计学家；我的工作是处理文字，她是处理数字；我要的是美感，她要的是功能。我们简直就是两个世界的人。

茉琳有约时总是提早赴约，我则偶尔会迟到；我喜欢尝试菜单上的新菜色，她永远点同一道菜。在美术馆待20分钟之后，我才正要开始欣赏艺术品，她却早已坐在楼下的咖啡厅，想着我还要看多久。我们都给对方很多操练耐性的机会！

当然我们也有共同点，我们都有幽默感、爱旅游，而且还有相同的信仰，可以帮助我们在需要的时候以祷告作出抉择与妥协。正因如此，我们的差异反而成为彼此的助益。茉琳帮助我学会放松，我帮助她更有纪律，差异成为互补，使我们成为更好的人。

保罗用婚姻比喻教会（以弗所书5章21-33节）很有道理，教会让许多截然不同的人聚在一起，培养谦逊、耐性、“用爱心互相宽容”（4章2节）。就像婚姻一样，藉着共同的信仰及一起服事能使教会合一，逐渐成长（11-13节）。

无论在教会或婚姻中，彼此的差异可能造成极大的挫败。但若善加处理，差异能成为助益，使我们更像基督。

你与配偶或挚友的差异如何使你俩共同成长？
教会肢体的差异如何能培养属灵的品格？

家庭对一个人的影响是巨大且深远的。让我们回到上帝对家庭的心意和祝福中

天父，请使用我们的差异，使我们迈向成熟。