[Helpmywife Maria 1
Everardo Laboy
Yeah, now I can see the other side of the story!
My wife is sick at the moment and I have heaps of work to do on the computer on my business so I don't have time for spring cleaning. I'll do the basics but I need to focus on my work.
She asks me to do the dishes so I do them. She whinges that its not done properly so I wipe the benches and try to get back to my work. She asks me to take the rubbish out and I'm beginning to lose my patience because I really need to get some work done, and then she asks me to do another thing and I tell her I'm really sorry but I don't have time to do it.
So for the next hour or two she's yelling at me saying I don't love her, that she'll move back to China without me (she's Chinese) to be with her mum because her mum takes care of her properly and I don't, that I never care for her and never do the dishes bla bla bla. She shouldn't say never, I just did them right now. She says I don't love her but I do, but she's being so whiny and annoying and compaining all the time that she makes it difficult to love her.
When she acts like that (not just when shes sick, but especially so) I don't want to do what she says just out of principle because then I'd be 'whipped'. My friends already tease me for being bossed around by my wife.
So at first I'm thinking thats she's crazy and unreasonable, but after reading your blogpost here I kind of understand a little what shes going through.
Thanks
Random Guy
I'm a stay at home mom via my husbands request and career needs (he could deploy any day any time). Goodness I wish he'd learn to google. Right now he'd throwing a tantrum because I asked him to stay home and help out instead of going to his friends house.
Seriously. I'm so sick it hurts to move. I'm literally puking into the bucket beside me. AND I've been left alone with a 4&2 year old all day, the youngest of which learned today how to climb onto counters.
All I'm saying is if men pull that crap, and then wonder why their spouse feels unloved they must be dumb as rocks
Thanks Random Guy! I am so impressed that you found this post and that you took the time to comment about it. I really appreciate it!! I'm glad it helped you understand a little and I hope things have gotten better for you both!
Anonymous,
I am so sorry for what you are going through!! (or were going through, by this time) I made the post and knew I'd probably be getting more wives finding it than husbands, which doesn't really help us, does it? lol My only advice would be to have a calm conversation about it, after the heat of the emotions have passed and hope that he can understand a little better.
I'm only 18 so I got a little while left before I have to worry about getting a wife but I already know what to do in that situation. I am going to make an emotional story here so this might be long. If there ever is such a bad situation where my wife falls sick for the rest of our lives I still wouldn't leave her. I would instead spend everyday taking care of her. I would clean the house everyday, tend to her needs, on days she is feeling at her worst I would try to take the day off of work to take care of her, if she got scared I would leave her I would hold her and and tell her I will always be here for her no matter what happens. Even if I lost my job for taking to much time off to take care of her I still would stick with here. Nothing would ever stop me for always being there for her forever. So yeah I can handel taking care if her when she has a cold or the flu for sure.
Hi, My wife had been sick for more than a week for extracting a tooth. It got to where it felt like her illness is taking too long, but I thank God I still took the extra effort to still care for her and even did more of what she would do if she was up.
But then I felt I needed an article like this one to help give me more insight into what the women might be wishing from their husbands during this time of their lives.
I like it that you said that your (I mean you women) sickness is not an excuse for a day off. I accept that stern reproof!
I also like Hailstone's affectionate ambition! Those were typically my feelings before marrying, and now that I am in it, I re-commit myself that I will do so! "Enough of the dreaming, now it's time to actually do it"!!!
Ntate
Thank you
I don't think you're being a brat at all! I think you had every right to feel as upset as you did. Although I am not a wife (which I hope to be one someday) I understand where you're coming from. I think it's unfair that your husband did not take any initiative in tending to your needs & making a mess of the house.
I'm wondering though, did you talk to him about any of this? Sometimes people can be oblivious when something is bothering someone else. Unless you tell him that there was a problem with his actions when you were sick, he is very likely to do the same thing all over again.
You said "He didn't even ask how I was doing or if I needed help" -- He might have been thinking to himself "If she were still feeling ill, then she wouldn't be cleaning up. And if she's feeling better then she doesn't need my help".
I don't mean to give advice as if I am an expert, or to make assumptions about you or your husband. I'm just commenting based on what you said & I think it helps to communicate. I'm sorry if I'm giving unwanted advice/suggestions.
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I have a question. My wife is constantly coughing and vomiting and chest pains as well as headaches and she doesn't think it's the flu what else could it be and she says she can't eat and I need her to eat so what can I do to help her out
Take her to the dr asap in morning. Try crackers or toast. Food isn't as important as fluids. Not just water. Electrolytes like pedialite or Gatorade is great. Good job wanting to help her. She sounds more serious than a cold or flu. Take her to hospital if chest pain continues please! Best wishes!
That's and interesting angle of looking at it. Here is another angle.
My wife is sick...she needs rest. She's in bed.. good.
I can't believe Tom took credit for my work.. when I put in all this effort in! At least I get paid enough to put a roof over my my wife and kids and to put bread on the table - can't believe I have to tolerate this for another two years at least. You know what would be awesome, if I had someone to take care of my wife whilst she's sick.. probably too expensive. I love my wife. I hope she get's better soon. Meanwhile let me watch TV whilst and recover from Tom's crap.
Wife screams.. do this.. do that.. OK.. sure. (wow she's really bossy.)
I hope she doesn't want to cuddle, last thing I want is for both of us to get sick. who would care for the kids and go to work then... jack will probably think I've already started interviewing - haha silly jack. forget the crap. This movie is really good. I can't believe my wife keeps interrupting it.
come on!...Woman would you get better already!
The end :D
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I peek in my our bedroom when my wife was very sick and asked her if wanted chicken soup. Her response was
"F&#* You"
Wow, all I want is to make sure she eat. I guess because I asked her already to eat, "it's what you need to do" irritated her? I just left..she's on her own. I don't take care of people who do this. I cared for her mother for four years before she died and it was a blessing, she was so kind and appreciative.
Really appreciate the advice I'm one of maybe few husband's googling and I'm not a very good husband apparently but I'm at a point where it's do or die divorce is right around the corner and I truly appreciate this post my wife is sick and we have three kids and we area mini army cleaning while mom rests I just did the soup and ginger ale. Got her back resting and now about to get back to cleaning thanks again.
Nice post. Thank you!
The problem is, my husband tries to do all of this... but he takes ages for things I'd complete in an hour and after doing chores for hours(!) he so exhausted he get's grumpy.... and when I get out of bed after a day the whole flat is a total mess. Why? Because when he starts to clean, he notices so many things he could improve, he feels compelled to pull everything out and start an epic spring cleaning event just to realise hours later, that he wouldn't be able to finish whithin a day, or two, or a week..... every time! o_o
So yes, my husband works himslef to exhaustion but that doesn't help me at all. I prefer a messed up kitchen if that means I get some (warmed up, pre-made) soup whithin an hour, or two...
Which brings me to point two: please! I know it's hard, but please don't clean up the kitchen when you're ill! You need and deserve your rest! Your family will assume (wrongly) that you're obviously well enough to clean, so no need to look after you anymore.
And maybe a severe lack of dishes might teach them to clean up themselves. ..at least a bit...