Family Court Preparation part 1 (divorce)
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Steps in Preparing Your Case
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Step 1: Your Journal
Immediately upon knowing you will be going into family court (or when
you think you are heading into family court), one of the first and
most important things you need to start doing is keeping journal of
all significant events concerning you, your children, your finances
and the other parent.
More often than not, each time you go to court you will need to
provide a statement as to specifically what you want and justification
for why you should get it. This written statement is called your
"declaration." The information in your declaration is taken directly
from your written journal as outlined above.
In family court, some judges will not listen to what you have to say
verbally. They will rely totally on what you have written in your
papers and what the other parent has written in their responsive
papers. Therefore, writing your declaration may be a very critical
part of whether or not you get what you are asking for, which makes
your journal entries extremely important to your case.
Step 2: Preparing to Write Your Declaration
Stay away from bringing up negative issues about the other parent, it
usually makes you and not the other parent, look bad in the eyes of
the court. However, many times in response to issues raised by the
other parent, you will need to respond by bring up negative issues.
Likewise, many times the only way to show a substantial change of
circumstances affecting the best interest of your child is to bring up
negative issues about the other parent. However, be very careful in
the way you bring up those negative issues.
Only bring up negative issues IF you can show, demonstrate or prove
how it directly affects your child or your relationship with your
child - otherwise, leave it alone.
The cardinal rule of bringing up negative issues is that you always,
always, always, label the negative issues as "CONCERNS." Example:
"I am concerned that every time I go to pick up our child, the other
parent is never at home. I believe this confuses our child and
allows our child to believe I have not come to see them and do not
care about them, which is simply not true and not in our child's best
interests."
Step 3: Writing Your Declaration
Your declaration is simply your very clearly written statement of what
has happened, including all dates whenever possible, which clearly
provide the court with the reasons and justifications for the order
you want the court to make. Every request you make needs to have a
reason or justification for it. The judge knows absolutely nothing
about you or your case. You need to bring the judge up to speed about
your case very quickly (they don't have much time to review each case,
maybe 5 to 10 minutes at most).
Whenever possible, attach proof or evidence which supports what you
are writing. If you do not have the proof or evidence, then state
where such evidence is located. Some ideas as to proof or evidence
may be pictures of you and your children enjoying your time together,
statements from witnesses who have seen you interact with your
children, time cards showing when you actually work, letters from
teachers or church leaders as to your involvement with school and
church. Get creative, but be able to back up your claims.
Step 4: The Court File
You will want to ensure you have an exact copy of the court file,
which you can get from the County Clerk at your family courthouse.
Your court file is needed so whomever is assisting you can see what
has happened so far in your case.
Also, there are many times wherein something which has happened before
will prevent you from bringing up the same issues again - a review of
your court file will let you know this information. Additionally,
there are many times wherein new or different paperwork is required
based on what has happened before - again, a review of your court file
will let you know this information.
Therefore, you will want to keep and maintain an up-to-date court file
at all times.
Step 5: Child Support and Spousal Support (Alimony)
It is in your best interests to start getting copies of all canceled
checks made for any kind of support you have paid and ensure you make
copies of both the front and the back of those checks. Additionally,
ensure you put on the check itself on the bottom left hand "comments"
section that the check is for "child support" or "spousal support."
Remember: IF YOU CAN'T PROVE YOU HAVE PAID IT, YOU OWE
IT !
Never, ever pay any type of support in cash. Why? Because there is
no way to prove the other parent received the money if you do not have
a copy of the other parent's signature and deposit notations from your
canceled check.
Step 6: Maintain Organized Files of Almost Everything
You will eventually have numerous files which you will want to
maintain and keep organized at all times. Some of the files you will
want to keep are as follows:
A) One file for all correspondence with the other parent kept in
chronological
order;
B) One file for all correspondence with your attorney and/or
paralegal kept in
chronological order;
C) One file for all correspondence with the other parent's
attorney kept in
chronological order;
D) One file for all correspondence with the state agency
collecting support
payments kept in chronological order;
E) One file of all proof of all payments made for support (including
both the front
and the back of canceled checks).
Step 7: Consultation with an Attorney and/or Paralegal
Armed with all of the information as outlined in Step 1 through Step 6
above, you are now ready to consult with an attorney, paralegal and or
support organization about your case.
One last thing:
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be
changed until it is faced."
---James Baldwin
By: Marvin L. Chapman
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