Preparations for Refreshment Sunday: First catch your simnel

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Gabrielle Dean

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Mar 12, 2026, 9:14:31 PM (10 hours ago) Mar 12

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From the Ecclesiastical Kitchen

First Catch your Simnel

As the Fourth Sunday of Lent approaches each year there is panic in the shops. While chocolate Easter eggs, bears, bilbies and almost every other animal species adorn the shelves from Boxing Day until Easter, along with leftover chocolate Santas, discerning buyers know that the real problem is where to acquire their simnel for the traditional cake for Refreshment Sunday.

One of the inherent paradoxes is that at the very time we need them, simnels are actually out of season, (one of the many problems of celebrating Easter in the southern hemisphere). So in order to get that most central ingredient, the fresh simnel (the frozen ones are a poor substitute), we need to go out and poach one of the few that are still to be found in the wild, buy one from a simnel farm or else resort to the black market (which is amply supplied with all kinds of contraband, such as aumbries, ocelots, umlauts, haggises, trossachs, chasubles, canapés, albs, duffels and other endangered species and weird words).

If you are lucky enough to find a supplier you need to order early. The best simnels are, of course, free range and organic; they should have been suckled by their mother for the first five months and then fed on organic corn and truffles. Ideally they should be no more than twelve months old, as they tend to toughen up quickly after their first birthday. However, certified organic simnels are exorbitantly priced, as they are raised near snow-fed streams and imported from Europe, (this also adds greatly to the carbon footprint of the simnel consumer). The locally grown ones are insipid in flavour and somewhat tough, (lacking the tenderizing enzyme supplied by the truffle diet), but much cheaper (and arguably better for the planet).

The flavour can be enhanced by steeping the simnel (from which you have removed the fur and claws) in a truffle and champagne marinade for five weeks, (and as the local joke goes, then throw away the simnel and drink the marinade). Pounding the meat with a stone mortar and pestle is advised to assist in the tenderizing process. Cook in a very slow oven for three days and then serve with a green salad. Eat very quickly. Four litres of a very good red wine greatly improves the eating experience. Anything left over will be enough for one simnel cake per year.

My next recipe will be “How to cook humming bird cake” (apparently they taste just like chicken).