Soup bone

[Blake Spencer]

Guys today is soups birthday so in honor of the legend I think we
should post stories to remind everyone how awesome he really was. Ill
start.

One night in the war room I remember looking up and seeing soup
stumbling around the bar bumping into people spilling drinks
everywhere. He manages to make it to the table I was sitting at and
when he gets there he just looks at us but doesn't say a word. I tried
to talk to him but he still says nothing for at least two minutes. He
then grabs the bar stool acting as if he were going to throw it I beg
him not to but sure enough he throws the stool looks at me and knocks
every single thing off the table and just calmly walks away.

This should be a great thread

--
Sent from my mobile device

[Kellum Welton]

What about the time we played bar golf and Haynes began by eating a massive hamburger at E Andrews and taking 3 or 4 jeager Bombs at 4pm, then proceeded to drink his usual large amount. By 8pm he had his shirt totally unbuttoned; his stomach, elbows, and face were bleeding because he face planted in the street. Then he began knocking everyones beers out of their hands. By 10pm, he got a big bag o jeezy and was doing it in the kramers bathroom and I don't remember what happened after that.

---

Kellum Welton

[Johnston Oppenheimer]

I remember happening upon him in Kramers one random Saturday night early last spring. It was towards the end of the night but the bar was still pretty packed. He was totally disheveled, covered in what I assume was a combination of sweat and jaeger, his shirt typically halfway unbuttoned. He was picking up random people's drinks from the tables and drinking them himself, completely unconcerned what anyone around him thought. People kept looking around wondering what happened to their drinks but Soup was on another level. I asked him where everyone was, he shrugged and muttered that he didn't know. I don't know if he had come to the bar by himself because everyone else pussed out or if he was the last one left standing; my money is on the latter. A few minutes later he got a funny look in his eye and bolted out of the bar. I tried to follow him onto the patio, but when I made it outside I saw he was headed for the Lollipop, so I walked back inside the bar. I didn't see him again that night, but I can guess what happened after that. What a champion.

 

Also, we will be holding the Jeff "Soup Bone" Haynes Memorial Hot Dog Eating Championship at our house later this spring, probably in May. We're gonna have to get some t-shirts made, preferably with the picture of him after his collapse-vomit combo. All are encouraged to participate. More details to follow in the coming months.

--

W. Johnston Oppenheimer

186 Le Brun Rd. NE
Atlanta, GA 30342
jop...@gmail.com
251.680.5447

[Kurt Jones]

I just think that him not being able to run 60 feet to first base without cramping is priceless. And jopp, ill go ahead and claim that hot dog eating belt.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

---

From: Johnston Oppenheimer <jop...@gmail.com>

Sender: dirtyb...@googlegroups.com

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2011 09:18:59 -0500

To: <dancefloor...@googlegroups.com>

ReplyTo: dirtyb...@googlegroups.com

Cc: dirtyb...@googlegroups.com<dirtyb...@googlegroups.com>

Subject: Re: Soup bone

[Phillip Hodges]

Soup pissed my couch. He said he passed out with a beer in his hand. He didn't.  Then we went to waffle house for breakfast. He pulled out a pack of parliaments and lit one up after breakfast. In waffle house. Classic soup.

Sent from my iPhone

[Geoff Pope]

Soup was supposed to move out of his apartment at 8 am on a Saturday. Knowing this, he got incredibly f-ed up Friday night and stayed up all night doing jeez. He woke up on the couch at the old house, with no keys in order to drive himself home. So, he ran to Post Chastain and kicked his door repeatedly until it gave in. The movers moved him and he successfully made it to the home he found on craigslist.  If only Soup had spent more than 4 seconds looking for his keys, he would have seen them laying in the middle of Barley's cage. Which brings up another question that no one will ever know the answer to.....was Soup in Barley's cage that night? and what was he doing in there??

--
- Geoff Pope

[Geoff Pope]

I've also come to find that replacing "Bill Brasky" with "Soupbone" in any quote from the SNL skit is a very seamless integration and will only expand the lore of Soup. For example:

Did I ever tell you about the time Soupbone and I went horseback riding, but there weren't any horses around? Anyway, Soupbone throws a saddle on my back and rides me around Wyoming for three days. Well, wouldn't ya know it, my stamina increased with each day, and I develop tremendous leg muscles. So anyway, Soupbone decides to enter me into the Breeders Cup under the name Turkish Delight. And Im running in second place, and I'm running, and I break my ankle. So anyway, they're about to shoot me. Then someone from the crowd yells out, God bless him, Dont shoot him, hes a human.

--
- Geoff Pope

[Kurt Jones]

Bored at work today g?

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

---

From: Geoff Pope <geoffre...@gmail.com>

Sender: dirtyb...@googlegroups.com

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2011 10:30:46 -0500

To: <dirtyb...@googlegroups.com>

ReplyTo: dirtyb...@googlegroups.com

[Geoff Pope]

No, I have plenty to do

--
- Geoff Pope

[Cody Smith]

What about that time he showed up after the pass out vomit fiasco behind 5 p in a white caddy riddin shotty with a drug dealer.  He picked up don and low and behold out came the rock of Gibraltar which in turn he had the dealer drop him off at johnies 

Sent from my iPhone

[Matt Donaghey]

oh that story didn't end at there, we went in to johnny's blocked off the bathroom for Soup to take key bumps. After about 5 mins we asked him what the hell he was doing and he responded "I don't take key bumps" at which he pointed to the top of the toilet where he had 3 gators layed out. After taking them he stumbled out to the dance floor where he tripped and ate the floor for the second time that night.

--
Matt Donaghey

dona...@gmail.com
251-391-6753