After building the new version with support for phones with broken back buttons (someone reviewing had that problem, and I felt that it was easy enough to fix that I couldn't ignore it), I realized that CircleCI has now officially deprecated (but still not removed support for?) format 1.0 of their config files.
So I spent a couple of painful hours converting the build to their 2.0 format.
Now it works! Wohoo! And it builds MUCH faster :D