You Say It 39;s Your Birthday
Margit Szermer
Yesterday a colleague of mine had birthday and I didn't know about it until later that day where the coworker brought in some food and sent an email to everyone. I felt pretty embarrassed, as I already met him at that morning but had no clue. This is the reason for following question.
I am not looking for answers like the ones in the linked question, as they are mostly suggest to bring food or do some activity. I am looking for answers which are purely conversation based (A short conversation, only small talk, no questions about what up etc.).
Please note that answers such as Hey, it's my birthday! would not be a good fit in my opinion, as I feel that it would be pretty awkward if you walk up to someone and the first thing you say is "It's my birthday!" (also I feel its kinda rude).
Yesterday a colleague of mine had birthday and I didn't know about it until later that day where she brought in some food and sent an email to everyone. I felt pretty embarrassed, as I already met her at that morning but had no clue.
That sounds pretty standard to me, other than the fact that you got embarrassed by it. Most adults aren't that bothered about their own birthdays. Mainly it's an excuse to eat some cake, and share it with colleagues. Your colleague probably didn't tell you that it was her birthday when you had the morning chat because she wasn't that bothered about it and didn't expect you to be either.
It sounds like for you a birthday is a fairly big deal. In terms of bringing it up, I'd do so the same way I'd bring up anything else that's interesting in my life: I'd wait for the person I'm chatting to to ask something like "How are you?" or "Get up to much last weekend / last night" or "You got anything planned tonight / this weekend?". So I could then respond with something like:
Note that in these examples you're not walking up to someone and saying "Hey, it's my birthday!", you're describing what's going on in your life and adding the reasoning as "because it's my birthday".
Many companies have some place where if you put food there, it is assumed that it is free for all and will be eaten. (Not taken. If I put a cake in the company's kitchen you are welcome and supposed to cut off a slice of cake and eat it, and maybe two slices especially if it gets late in the day and it looks like the cake might not disappear until the end of the day. You are not supposed to take the cake away).
There is no need to feel embarrassed if you meet someone and don't know it's their birthday (yet). If you are not told, you cannot know. And nowadays companies in many countries are not allowed due to privacy laws to tell about birthdays. So your manager cannot shout "Hey everyone, today is Xtremebauer's birthday". For legal reasons. Which is Ok, since some people wouldn't want anyone to know.
I haven't been to Germany, but where I'm from it's generally polite for both people to ask "what's up" or "how are you" or "how was your day?" or something equivalent if meeting casually. If it's similar where you are, this is a good opportunity to mention it's your birthday. Or you could wait for a lull in the conversation.
If neither of these opportunities arise they are probably too distracted by something else, maybe the situation, maybe the contents of their own head - in this case they are possibly not going to be too enthusiastic to learn it's your birthday.
As other answerers pointed out, you can bring it in a casual conversation. If there is any celebration, event, whatever, the same day, talk about it and mention your birthday is the same day. You can mention it more or less obviously.
You can also wait for a proper moment in the conversation to mention it's your birthday. For example, a few days ago, I worked with a friend of mine to conclude a music festival. He said "Another year is gone (une anne de plus en moins, not sure if the translation is good)", which I replied "Tell me about it, it's my birthday next week!".
Eventually, my best advice would be to do not make a big deal about it. It's your birthday, everyone has one, and no one will be mad at you to be a bit selfish that day. Moreover, as @AJ said in his answer, if you tell it to just a few people, they will spread the word themselves and after a short time everyone will wish you a happy birthday.
This one time, when there was celebration for Lord Ganesha's birthday in my new office, I did tell them that it's my birthday too. That's when they stuffed my mouth with sweets brought for the occasion.
If you can't find any such person your birthday coincides with, try to have a casual conversation about birthdays or something and then mention that it's your birthday. Some people might get hint when you're talking about birthdays.
Mostly, these people are coworkers. However, there are a few newer friends of mine whom I haven't yet told. I don't hold social gatherings for events like this - and to me, it's not even all that significant. But it's one of the Major Milestone Birthdays in US culture.
For work, I bring in donuts for everyone and let them know I brought them in to celebrate my birthday. This is a pretty common gesture at many workplaces in the Midwest US. Alternatives are cupcakes, bagels, cake, a fruit or veggie tray, or any other snack type thing that can be shared.
There are lots of ways to let people know that your birthday is coming up or is occurring. I'm a big fan of birthdays, regardless of their importance. My son's first birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm already telling people about it.
Alternately, ask people when their birthday is... usually they'll ask you when yours is and you can tell them. If they don't really care, they likely won't ask... so you're not forcing the information on them.
If you really want to share the information with other people, there are a myriad of ways. Heck, I bet even asking this question made some people wonder when your birthday is... So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say
For example, if I forgot someone's name/birthday, I find a way to insert the topic of photos into the conversation. Then, move onto my terrible driver's license photo, which I show, often to their "it's great" reply. This usually brings people to show me theirs, like a commiseration of sorts. I use the opportunity to remind myself of their name or birthday.
I cut this conversation down massively just for the example, but the gist is that you don't have to make a big deal of it, bringing balloons or doughnuts, or bringing it up out of nowhere, just start some small talk and make it your answer to the topic. The aim is to sound natural as if you just thought of mentioning it, otherwise, you can seem eager or childish.
In case you don't have them on social networks and for notifying to the coworkers. There is an informal group chat for coworkers? If a friend wishes you a happy birthday in that group, everybody will do the same only for being polite.
You can ask others to donate some old stuff like clothes or books and organise a charity on your birthday. People may ask why you are organising it and you can tell that you want to do some good on your birthday.
BTW, it's not important to tell everyone about your birthday unless they are someone important and special, and you want them with you that day. In this case, you can say it without any special effects that it's your birthday on ...
In old days where people still used email as the primary means of digital communication, some people implied their birthday at their email address (e.g. donaldo_clinton_12_19@XYZ which someone may get December 19th is his/her birthday). Nowadays messaging apps are more prevalent, so people won't bother to care about others' email as they were, but nothing would prevent you from hinting it at your email.
Another good tactic is to ask someone about his/her age near your birthday. Then if the person isn't unwilling to keep the conversation with you, he/she asks you about your age as well. Then you tell your age, and also tell that you become X years old in Y days.
Yet another way is to search for any famous person that has the same birthday as you, and talk about the celebrity. During the conversation, you tell that you have the same birthday as the celebrity. Your new friend likely forgets about the exact date, but can easily connect your birthday to the celebrity. If the media celebrates the person's birthday, your friend might recall your birthday as well.
Relate it to something else, and drop this in conversation. The weather is always a good option; for instance, if it is the day of your birthday and the weather is particularly nice, then when you meet your co-worker try to look cheerful and say in an off-hand manner:
The weather is so nice. Hope this keeps up till Thursday. Would be nice to turn 30 on a sunny day (or)
I hope the weather improves. Would be a rather depressing 30th if it continues like this on Thursday.
I cannot believe my dog will soon be turning 10. I didn't think he would make it this far. He has had health problems since 6 months and I thought I was losing him this year. I've been taking his pics with these and want to get professional pictures done, in case they're the last ones. I don't know why they aren't back in stock since they are obviously so well received. Is there anyone that could loan me a "1" and I'll send it back? Thanks, Sherri and Simba
Thank you so much for your heartwarming review, Sherri! We're so happy to hear these toys have been a special part of celebrating Simba's life over the years. We understand that you wish to get the No. 1 toy to be used for professional pictures. Unfortunately, we do not have them in stock. We do not have a specific period as to when it will be back. However, we will make sure to update the website once available. Please send our belly rubs to your lovely pup!
Hello Brittany! Thank you so much for your review on the Oh My Dog It's Your Birthday?!? and sharing these wonderful photos of your pup. Our team truly appreciates the loyalty and dedication of our pack members like you, and we value your feedback immensely. I understand the toy has been a part of your pup's milestone and I am so sorry that some numbers are out of stock. Please keep an eye out for an email from us so we can help further.
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