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Matt Dreher
You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement ofan enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrivedhere yesterday, and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare andincreasing confidence in the success of my undertaking.
These visions faded when I perused, for the first time, those poets whoseeffusions entranced my soul and lifted it to heaven. I also became a poet andfor one year lived in a paradise of my own creation; I imagined that I alsomight obtain a niche in the temple where the names of Homer and Shakespeare areconsecrated. You are well acquainted with my failure and how heavily I bore thedisappointment. But just at that time I inherited the fortune of my cousin, andmy thoughts were turned into the channel of their earlier bent.
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Six years have passed since I resolved on my present undertaking. I can, evennow, remember the hour from which I dedicated myself to this great enterprise.I commenced by inuring my body to hardship. I accompanied the whale-fishers onseveral expeditions to the North Sea; I voluntarily endured cold, famine,thirst, and want of sleep; I often worked harder than the common sailors duringthe day and devoted my nights to the study of mathematics, the theory ofmedicine, and those branches of physical science from which a naval adventurermight derive the greatest practical advantage. Twice I actually hired myself asan under-mate in a Greenland whaler, and acquitted myself to admiration. I mustown I felt a little proud when my captain offered me the second dignity in thevessel and entreated me to remain with the greatest earnestness, so valuabledid he consider my services.
And now, dear Margaret, do I not deserve to accomplish some great purpose? Mylife might have been passed in ease and luxury, but I preferred glory to everyenticement that wealth placed in my path. Oh, that some encouraging voice wouldanswer in the affirmative! My courage and my resolution is firm; but my hopesfluctuate, and my spirits are often depressed. I am about to proceed on a longand difficult voyage, the emergencies of which will demand all my fortitude: Iam required not only to raise the spirits of others, but sometimes to sustainmy own, when theirs are failing.
I shall depart for the latter town in a fortnight or three weeks; and myintention is to hire a ship there, which can easily be done by paying theinsurance for the owner, and to engage as many sailors as I think necessaryamong those who are accustomed to the whale-fishing. I do not intend to sailuntil the month of June; and when shall I return? Ah, dear sister, how can Ianswer this question? If I succeed, many, many months, perhaps years, will passbefore you and I may meet. If I fail, you will see me again soon, or never.
How slowly the time passes here, encompassed as I am by frost and snow! Yet asecond step is taken towards my enterprise. I have hired a vessel and amoccupied in collecting my sailors; those whom I have already engaged appear tobe men on whom I can depend and are certainly possessed of dauntless courage.
Well, these are useless complaints; I shall certainly find no friend on thewide ocean, nor even here in Archangel, among merchants and seamen. Yet somefeelings, unallied to the dross of human nature, beat even in these ruggedbosoms. My lieutenant, for instance, is a man of wonderful courage andenterprise; he is madly desirous of glory, or rather, to word my phrase morecharacteristically, of advancement in his profession. He is an Englishman, andin the midst of national and professional prejudices, unsoftened bycultivation, retains some of the noblest endowments of humanity. I first becameacquainted with him on board a whale vessel; finding that he was unemployed inthis city, I easily engaged him to assist in my enterprise.
Yet do not suppose, because I complain a little or because I can conceive aconsolation for my toils which I may never know, that I am wavering in myresolutions. Those are as fixed as fate, and my voyage is only now delayeduntil the weather shall permit my embarkation. The winter has been dreadfullysevere, but the spring promises well, and it is considered as a remarkablyearly season, so that perhaps I may sail sooner than I expected. I shall donothing rashly: you know me sufficiently to confide in my prudence andconsiderateness whenever the safety of others is committed to my care.
But to return to dearer considerations. Shall I meet you again, after havingtraversed immense seas, and returned by the most southern cape of Africa orAmerica? I dare not expect such success, yet I cannot bear to look on thereverse of the picture. Continue for the present to write to me by everyopportunity: I may receive your letters on some occasions when I need them mostto support my spirits. I love you very tenderly. Remember me with affection,should you never hear from me again.
No incidents have hitherto befallen us that would make a figure in a letter.One or two stiff gales and the springing of a leak are accidents whichexperienced navigators scarcely remember to record, and I shall be well contentif nothing worse happen to us during our voyage.
But success shall crown my endeavours. Wherefore not? Thus far I havegone, tracing a secure way over the pathless seas, the very stars themselvesbeing witnesses and testimonies of my triumph. Why not still proceed over theuntamed yet obedient element? What can stop the determined heart and resolvedwill of man?
Last Monday (July 31st) we were nearly surrounded by ice, which closed in theship on all sides, scarcely leaving her the sea-room in which she floated. Oursituation was somewhat dangerous, especially as we were compassed round by avery thick fog. We accordingly lay to, hoping that some change would take placein the atmosphere and weather.
This appearance excited our unqualified wonder. We were, as we believed, manyhundred miles from any land; but this apparition seemed to denote that it wasnot, in reality, so distant as we had supposed. Shut in, however, by ice, itwas impossible to follow his track, which we had observed with the greatestattention.
About two hours after this occurrence we heard the ground sea, and before nightthe ice broke and freed our ship. We, however, lay to until the morning,fearing to encounter in the dark those large loose masses which float aboutafter the breaking up of the ice. I profited of this time to rest for a fewhours.
You may conceive my astonishment on hearing such a question addressed to mefrom a man on the brink of destruction and to whom I should have supposed thatmy vessel would have been a resource which he would not have exchanged for themost precious wealth the earth can afford. I replied, however, that we were ona voyage of discovery towards the northern pole.
Upon hearing this he appeared satisfied and consented to come on board. GoodGod! Margaret, if you had seen the man who thus capitulated for his safety,your surprise would have been boundless. His limbs were nearly frozen, and hisbody dreadfully emaciated by fatigue and suffering. I never saw a man in sowretched a condition. We attempted to carry him into the cabin, but as soon ashe had quitted the fresh air he fainted. We accordingly brought him back to thedeck and restored him to animation by rubbing him with brandy and forcing himto swallow a small quantity. As soon as he showed signs of life we wrapped himup in blankets and placed him near the chimney of the kitchen stove. By slowdegrees he recovered and ate a little soup, which restored him wonderfully.
Two days passed in this manner before he was able to speak, and I often fearedthat his sufferings had deprived him of understanding. When he had in somemeasure recovered, I removed him to my own cabin and attended on him as much asmy duty would permit. I never saw a more interesting creature: his eyes havegenerally an expression of wildness, and even madness, but there are momentswhen, if anyone performs an act of kindness towards him or does him any themost trifling service, his whole countenance is lighted up, as it were, with abeam of benevolence and sweetness that I never saw equalled. But he isgenerally melancholy and despairing, and sometimes he gnashes his teeth, as ifimpatient of the weight of woes that oppresses him.
When my guest was a little recovered I had great trouble to keep off the men,who wished to ask him a thousand questions; but I would not allow him to betormented by their idle curiosity, in a state of body and mind whoserestoration evidently depended upon entire repose. Once, however, thelieutenant asked why he had come so far upon the ice in so strange a vehicle.
Soon after this he inquired if I thought that the breaking up of the ice haddestroyed the other sledge. I replied that I could not answer with any degreeof certainty, for the ice had not broken until near midnight, and the travellermight have arrived at a place of safety before that time; but of this I couldnot judge.
From this time a new spirit of life animated the decaying frame of thestranger. He manifested the greatest eagerness to be upon deck to watch for thesledge which had before appeared; but I have persuaded him to remain in thecabin, for he is far too weak to sustain the rawness of the atmosphere. I havepromised that someone should watch for him and give him instant notice if anynew object should appear in sight.
Such is my journal of what relates to this strange occurrence up to the presentday. The stranger has gradually improved in health but is very silent andappears uneasy when anyone except myself enters his cabin. Yet his manners areso conciliating and gentle that the sailors are all interested in him, althoughthey have had very little communication with him. For my own part, I begin tolove him as a brother, and his constant and deep grief fills me with sympathyand compassion. He must have been a noble creature in his better days, beingeven now in wreck so attractive and amiable.
I said in one of my letters, my dear Margaret, that I should find no friend onthe wide ocean; yet I have found a man who, before his spirit had been brokenby misery, I should have been happy to have possessed as the brother of myheart.
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