What is the significance of ceremonies of 12th and 13th Day after death in Hinduism
Jayendra Lakhani
Chandra Raghu
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Barath Ganesan
Is your question only about 12th and 13th day rituals or rituals in general done for all the 13 days after death?
The reason why am asking , the 12th and 13th day rituals have a peculiar reason.
The rituals done from day 1 to day 10 are to provide food and water for the soul which is believed to give a form for the formless soul. Everyday pinda helps in formation of one one organ everyday.
On the 10th day, after the body is fully formed, the same food is served without salt so that the soul hates this food and starts its journey towards pitr loka.
All the danas we do on the 11th day is to make sure the soul travels comfortably. We donate slippers, umbrella, lamp, cow, book, bell, silver, gold and a lot such things and it is believed that the soul can use them during its tough journey.
The ritual called sapandikarana sharadam, that is done on the 12th day, is very very important. As I vaguely remember, sa pindi karanam means, "the movement of the receiver of the 4th pinda". It is believed that our pitr loka can seat 3 generations of our ancestors. So before the death of my dad, it was occupied by my grandfather, his father and his grandfather. And in every year shradha we give pinda these generations. Now, when my father died, he becomes receiver of the first pinda and the great great grandfather who was receiving 3rd pinda so far has now become the receiver of the 4th pinda and he should now start walking out to accommodate my father there in the pitr loka. This movement of the great great grandfather out of pitr loka and accommodation of father is done by this sapindikarana shradham. This sharadham officially converts the departed soul from preta to pitr. So far in all the rituals that was done last 12 days, the departed soul was addressed as preta only. Even if it is our own father and grandfather. Only after this ritual, we start to address him as pitr. So far the 12 days it is all inauspicious. After this ritual, the inauspiciousness is gone and it is auspicious.
The 13th day, we perform grekiyam which is subha function. We do homas, punyahavachanam, clean the house with holy water from kumbam, bath the karta with that water and everything becomes auspicious from now.
Now, the 12th and 13th day rituals are supposed to be done only after 1 year cos it is believed that the soul travels for a year to reach the Pitr loka. The inauspiciousness ends only after 1 year and every month we do masigam karmas which feeds the travelling "preta" with food and water. But since sapindikaranam is a very very important ritual, and if something happens to karta in this 1 year (say he is dead), then that departed soul will ever remain as preta and would never become a pitr. This is so very unfortunate, so the sastras made accommodation and asked the karta to do sapindikaranam on the 12th itself and subham on the 13th day. So on 12th day, the status of the soul officially is changed as pitr from preta though he hasnt reach the pitr loka. It is like getting a visa and starting a travel instead of waiting to get visa on arrival. The 12th day and the 13th day rituals are done one again at the end of 1 year during varushabdigam, just as a formality.
I know all this because I did all this for my beloved father just 1.5 years before. I dont know if this is all true or not, and we can argue with a lot of points stating Christians dont do muslims dont do all these and they are just fine...but what is to be done, is definitely to be done, irrespective of it has any effect or not. The squirrel that helped rama in building the bridge, did what it can do, irrespective of the impact it is going to produce to the end result. The few particles of sand it carried on its wet back is nothing at all in filling up the ocean, but it is enough to get the grace of the lord. Our parents have done a lot of things to us, a lot sacrifices too and the ONLY thing a son can do back is the last rituals. It is so unfortunate that son refused to do last rites for his father. May his soul rest in peace.
And I remember one thing, our sastras are so compassionate that souls like these are also taken care to an extent.
In tarpanam, after we are done with the ritual, we end it by pouring a lot of water with sesame seeds with the following mantra:
"Yeshanamata na pita napradha nasha baandhava te sarve thriptimaayantu myo srushtaighi kushodhagai"
It means, whichever father and mother for whom the son is not doing shradha and tarpanam, let all such souls be satisfied this sessame seeds and water.
Pls note, am not a prohit. I learnt this all as a doer. I may be wrong somewhere. You can browse and get to know a lot of details.
Thanks
Barath
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Sugavanam Krishnan
Dear Jayendra Ji.
Pranams. That we have a soul which is apart from the body, what happens to it after death etc are knowledges that are not in the domain of human intellect. Sastra is the only basis for this. So unless the sadguru can give pramANa from Sastra that all this ceremonies are useless, the sadguru should be summarily dismissed.
It is said in the Sastra that the soul hangs around until the 10th day of death. That is why water is given all through the 10 days.. On the 10th day, a karma called sapiNDi karaNam is done and food is given to the soul, along with all the required things for the souls journey to pitr loka. That's why chappals, umbrella etc are given as daan on the 10th day and piNDa is offered as food for the souls journey.
On the 11th say a function called grekyam is done and on the 13th subha svIkAram is done, meaning people come back to their usual routine like pUjA cooking etc after the soul has been sent away to pitr loka.
The soul takes a human year to reach pitr loka and various karmas are to be done culminating in the yearly shraddhA.
All this is from the Sastra,which is the only means of knowledge in these matters... Anyone claiming otherwise should do so only based on Sastra.
Your friends son may have abandoned it not merely because sadguru said so, but because he may have found it convenient.. If he still doesn’t do it don't worry..
There are ways in Sastra to do uddhAraNa of the soul. Sastra provides for even shraddhA for even pets and unrelated people. Check with the maharaj and he will tell you.
Namaste
Śuka
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Vēdānta Study Group
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The shraadh ceremony for our departed family members is of great importance in Vedic tradition. As the still living family of the departed jiva, it is our duty to aid, nourish and pray for the jiva's onward journey. In addition, the honoring of our ancestors not only aids in them in their journey, it is of great significance to our own fulfillment here. The blessing received from honoring our ancestors is of singular importance in removing blocks for our physical, mental, spiritual progress. It is said, if we honor our ancestors, they carry us on their shoulders (we prosper), otherwise, we carry them on our backs (as though dragging us down). An opportune time to honor our ancestors every year is during Pitru Paksha - the dark moon phase in the in the month of Bhadrapada (Sept/ Oct).
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Vernon Badrinath
I am not as learned as some in this group. However, I will give my opinion as a son to a parent. While it is not possible to validate what is given in the shastras scientifically, it is also not possible to contradict it categorically. Because my parent dies only once in a lifetime, do I not owe him or her the benefit of doubt? After all the things that they have sacrificed for me all their lives, do I not owe them the inconvenience of two days of ceremonies even there is only the remotest chance of attaining peace in the next world? This will be my thought process without getting into the debate on whether or not the ceremonies help.
With profuse apologies I state this: I think that the sadguru did a great disservice to this man by not giving him the opportunity to properly pay the last respects to the loved one that brought him to this world.
Regards
Vernon Badrinath
Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 22:31:38 +0530
Subject: Re: [dhārmika-saṁvādaḥ] What is the significance of ceremonies of 12th and 13th Day after death in Hinduism
From: krishnan....@gmail.com
To: dharmika...@googlegroups.com
Jayendra Lakhani
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Kind Regards;
Jayendra Lakhani
Bala
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satish gupta
Hello all....
Prashant Parikh
Namaste Satish ji,
I am deeply sorry to hear of your grandfather's brother's loss. Please accept our condolence for your family through these trying times.
The situation you describe is certainly a difficult one to deal with and I don't think there is one straight answer for it. I understand it would not be easy to accept condolences and congratulations at the same time.
1. You could, as you suggested, postpone the vivaaH to a later date out of respect for a deceased member of the family
OR
2. You could tone down on the celebratory events and have a joyous (all weddings should be joyous), but somewhat low-key wedding event (perhaps canceling the Sangeet (music and dance) event and such would be more appropriate).
Ultimately this is a tricky question and there are also family dynamics / logistics involved such as the difficulty in canceling invitations last minute and re-organizing the events at another date, and so on, which is honestly something I would leave up to your elders to decide.
The best advice I can give is to consult the elders of your family,a kulaguru (if you have one), or if need be other shAstris/pUjAris who would be overseeing your wedding, your would-be wife's family, and also the immediate family members of your great-uncle and decide accordingly.
Prashant
hariH om tat sat
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