Thanks for the help.
-- Mason Turner
This doesn't exactly answer you question, but one thing it reminds me of:
Collectd has a socket from which you can read values made available by
other registered read-plugins. You could write your own ruby tool to make
use of this facility. See collectd-unixsock(5).
There is also a nagios plugin[¹] shipped with collectd, called
collectd-nagios, which allows you to trigger nagios alerts (or send them
further using NSCA) in case such and such metric reaches such and such
threshold. It uses the socket mentioned above. Combined with collectd's
network plugin, you can imagine all sort of different setups.
Cheers,
Marc