Stephen 7 Habits

[Clide Birkner]

The7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first published in 1989, is a business and self-help book written by Stephen R. Covey.[1] The book goes over his ideas on how to spur and nurture personal change, such as his thinking about effectiveness as a relationship between desired results and caring for that which produces results, his argument for the character ethic rather than the personality ethic, or his articulation of principles versus values. As named, his book is laid out through seven habits he has identified as conducive to personal growth.

The book is laid out through seven habits. Covey intends the first three as a means of achieving independence, the next three as a means of achieving interdependence, and the last, seventh habit as a means to maintain the previous.

Proactivity is about taking responsibility for one's reaction to one's own experiences, taking the initiative to respond positively and improve the situation. Covey postulates that "between stimulus and response lies your ability to choose" how to react, and that nothing can hurt a person without the person's consent. Covey discusses recognizing one's circle of influence and circle of concern. Covey discusses focusing one's responses and focusing on the center of one's influence.

Covey says that all things are created twice: Before one acts, one should act in one's mind first. Before creating something, measure twice. Do not just act; think first: Is this how I want it to go, and are these the correct consequences?

The order is important, says Covey: after completing items in quadrant I, people should spend the majority of their time on II, but many people spend too much time in III and IV. The calls to delegate and eliminate are reminders of their relative priority.

If habit 2 advises that "you are the programmer", habit 3 advises: "write the program, become a leader". Keep personal integrity by minimizing the difference between what you say versus what you do, says Covey.

Use empathetic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to be influenced. This creates an atmosphere of caring and positive problem-solving.

Covey says that one should balance and renew one's resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. He primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer, and good reading for mental renewal. He also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.

Covey explains the "upward spiral" model. Through conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, an upward spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and one will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The upward spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must continue consistently educating the conscience with increasing levels in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power, says Covey.

Covey coined the term abundance mentality, or abundance mindset, a way of thinking in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others.[2] He contrasts it with the scarcity mindset (i.e., destructive and unnecessary competition), which is founded on the idea that if someone else wins or is successful in a situation, it means "you lose", because you are not considering the possibility of all parties "winning" in some way or another in a given situation.

Individuals having an abundance mentality seek win-win scenarios, avoiding the notion of zero-sum games, and are able to celebrate the success of others, rather than feel threatened by them.[3] The author contends that the abundance mentality arises from having a high self-worth and security (see habits 1, 2, and 3), and leads to the sharing of profits, recognition and responsibility. Similarly, organizations may also apply an abundance mentality when doing business.[4]

Stephen's son, Sean Covey, wrote a version of the book for teens, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (1998), which simplifies the 7 habits for younger readers to make them easier to understand. He also published The 6 Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make: A Guide for Teens (2006), which highlights key times in the life of a teen and gives advice on how to deal with them, and The 7 Habits of Happy Kids (2008), a children's book illustrated by Stacy Curtis that further simplifies the 7 habits for children and teaches them through stories with anthropomorphic animal characters.[10]

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is a self-improvement book. It is written on Covey's belief that the way we see the world is entirely based on our own perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we must change ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to change our perceptions.

Reactive people, conversely, focus on things in their Circle of Concern but not in their Circle of Influence. This leads them to blame external factors, emanate negative energy, and cause their Circle of Influence to shrink.

Putting first things first is the practical execution of habits one and two. You must be proactive and use your guiding principles to determine the most important activities in front of you. And then execute them accordingly.

Plus, focusing on Quadrant II means you're thinking ahead, working on the roots, and preventing crises from happening! This helps you implement the Pareto Principle: 80% of your results come from 20% of your time.

1. Consider an upcoming interaction in which you'll attempt to reach an agreement or solution. Write down what the other person is looking for and consider how you can meet those needs.

2. Identify three important relationships in your life and consider their balance. Do you give more than you take? Write down ten ways to give more than you take in each relationship.

3. Identify your interaction tendencies and how they affect others. Are they win-lose? Can you identify the source of that approach? Determine whether or not your approach serves you well in your relationships.

Habit 5 requires you to listen actively and empathetically before communicating your own views. Simply put: Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond. In doing so, you can cultivate trust and respect with others.

Seeking to understand requires being open-minded and nonjudgmental while avoiding imposing your biases and assumptions on others. The result is improved communication, deeper relationships, and more effective collaboration.

1. Next time you watch two people communicate, cover your ears and watch. What emotions are they sharing that might not come across through words alone? For example, was one person or the other more interested in the conversation? Write down what you noticed.

2. Make a list of people with whom you get along well. How are their views different? Next, write down a situation where you had excellent teamwork and synergy. Why? What conditions were met to reach synergy? How can you recreate those conditions again?

At the end of the day, documentation has to be crystal clear for all involved. Workflows have to work for the folks implementing tasks and those overseeing them. But the real bonus? By making this a collaborative activity, I built trust and respect within the team.

Sharpening the saw means continually honing your personal development through deliberate actions that renew and recharge your energy. The result is a happy, holistically healthy, and effective individual.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Just like exercising, you should make concerted efforts to prioritize renewing your mental energy. Consider some activities that stimulate and calm the mind:

Sharpening the saw is crucial for maintaining success with the previous six habits. If you fail to look after your physical, mental, social, and spiritual health? Well, taking care of others is much more challenging.

2. Identify the essential areas of renewal for your personality. For example, some people are extroverted and might need to focus more on social renewal. That said, others might need to prioritize physical renewal over the rest.

The idea is very, very simple. Easy enough for anyone, literally, anyone, to understand. A mini-habit is a habit of doing something every day that is very small. For instance, 1 pushup a day. Read 2 pages of a book a day. Things like that.

I immediately picked it up again, especially after reading in HTBAI how anxiety is often a result of perfectionism, and how mini-habits punches that in the face daily. Small victories which create a perpetual positive cycle, in a too-brief summation.

On December 28th, I decided that I wanted to get in great shape. In the previous days and weeks, however, I hardly exercised at all and felt quite guilty about it. My goal was a thirty-minute workout, and it seemed impossible.

Initially, I scoffed at the idea. How absurd to do a single push-up and act as if it means anything! But when I continued to struggle with my bigger plans, I finally gave in to the idea and did one, and since I was already in push-up position, I did a few more.

The reason people fail to change their lives, and fail to instill new habits, is because they try to do too much at once. In simplest terms, if your new habit requires more willpower than you can muster, you will fail. If your new habit requires less willpower than you can muster, you will succeed.

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