[Demented_Flicks] Fw: HAHAHA ~ I love this old Lady ~

[angel recruiter]

so true

      
  A SENIOR  MOMENT......  
A 98 year old woman in  the UK wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it  amusing enough to have it published in the  Times.
Dear  Sir,
               I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I  endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations,  three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the  cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to  honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly   deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit,  has  only been in place for a  mere thirty eight years. You are to be commended for  seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for  debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused  to your bank .   My  thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident  has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed  that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and  letters, when I try to contact you, I am  confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded,  faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I,  likeyou, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood  person.   My mortgage  and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be  automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed  personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank  whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under  the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.  Please find attached anApplication Contact Status which I require your  chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight    pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her  as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please  note that all copies of his or her medical history must  be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of  his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and  liabilities) must be accompanied by documented  proof.   In due  course, I will issue your employee with PIN number which  he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot  be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it  on the number of button presses required of me to access my  account balance on your phone bank service.  As they  say, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.  
Let me level the playing field even  further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:  
1. To make an appointment to see  me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the  call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer  the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To  transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to  nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am  not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer (a  password to access my computer  is required. A password will be communicated to  you at a later date for the Authorized Contact.)
8. To  return to the main menu, and to listen to options 1 through to  8.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact  will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my  automated answering  service.
       While this  may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will  play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your  example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the  setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so  slightly less prosperous, New Year.     Your Humble  Client, Myrtle J  Watson.
(Remember:  This was written by a 98 year old  woman...................DOESN'T SHE MAKE YOU PROUD!)  

  

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[spike q]

lolol this is great.
spike

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[angel recruiter]

no worries yes the older  ones have move sence and more gumpsion lol