Fwd: facebook group

[Alison Bentley]

weeeeee!!!!! but be responsible. also someone make the group

Begin forwarded message:

From: Sarah Bowden <skb...@virginia.edu>
Date: January 22, 2014 at 8:06:01 PM EST
To: Alison Bentley <abb...@virginia.edu>
Subject: Re: facebook group

Hey Alison! 

I really appreciate your email. You've brought up some great points and I met with Marissa Bondi tonight and discussed my concerns from a risk management point. 

Obviously we want you guys to bond and be sisters and great friends! That's not even a question. The problem is the respect. While your pledge class is soooo much better now then before, there were still bumps in the road and we're trying to avoid your pledge class having to go through some of the struggles we had as well. Honestly, it's us looking out for you guys more than anything.

Marissa and I have come to a decision that we will let you guys have a joint pledge class group. Depending on how it goes, we reserve the right to end it at any given time if things get out of hand or the group pushes too many boundaries. We respect you guys and trust that you will all post appropriate things in the group and really be the leaders for these new members because we know you can be. 

We do require that you add me and Marissa Bondi to the group. We won't be checking up on you, discussing anything in the group with the rest of the chapter members or posting or anything- it's just from a risk management standpoint since technically we are not even supposed to allow any type of joint pledge class anything according nationals and will be keeping everything confidential. 

The title of the group can not have anything associated with DG (anchors are fine), Epsilon Gamma, UVA, etc. similar to our tshirt rules because we could get in a lot of trouble for it being associated with our chapter. Feel free to come up with a creative nickname (no cursing please...) and make sure it is 100% private and closed to the new members, your pledge class, and Marissa and myself. It should not come up in any searches on facebook and should be a closed group that can not be seen by anyone outside the group.

Again, we reserve the right to cancel the group if it becomes something that encourages poor behavior. You guys can definitely post about getting dinners, going out, etc. but we don't want this to be a group that pressures girls to go out if they don't want to. Stress that all of these events are optional, never required because we don't want to make anyone who is apprehensive or overwhelmed to think they have to go to events. 

But have fun with it!! Be friends with them, invite ALL (not just some) to dinners and events. All of these girls are awesome and we don't want anyone to feel like someone else in their pledge class is getting extra attention from your pledge class. The "finding a little" game can get competitive but you guys have been with them for less than a week... give all of them a chance. 

On that note, I am about to send out another email to you all about the final clarifications of this week. While I assume no one is going out tonight, this is important for tomorrow night and Friday before midnight. As a leader in our chapter, I expect you to encourage girls in your pledge class to follow these simple rules for the few days we have them. I've been lenient with everyone while other sororities have been way more strict so don't think that I'm trying to be super strict for no reason.

This week you should NOT be drinking with the babies. It's tempting I know but there are so many bigger problems that can arise from one or two nights of drinking with them and it's really not worth it. If your pledge class is having girls over, they should not be drinking with them whatsoever. It's even worse that people are hosting pregames in their apartments. That's NOT okay until after Friday at midnight.

The only exception to this is closed date functions where girls are EXPLICITLY invited to the function and have proof. This means that if you want babies to go to date functions, you must give the boy their number so they can explicitly invite them. Just being on a list now is not enough. 

We're not calling you out for doing any of these things. Instead we want to be explicit now so there aren't future concerns and miscommunications. These are expectations that will be made to the chapter, not just your pledge class. 

We really appreciate your pledge class being enthusiastic and inclusive with all the girls these past few days and keep up the good work!! 

Feel free to share this email to your pledge class and let me know if there are other questions or concerns!

LITB,

Sarah

On Wed, Jan 22, 2014 at 6:04 PM, Alison Bentley <abb...@virginia.edu> wrote:

Hi Sarah!

I completely respect your decision and the thought process behind not allowing us to have a Facebook group with the babies, but I just wanted to give you an idea of what our member class is thinking. We're really bummed about it...it's so difficult to communicate with the babies as a whole without a Facebook group. Texting the girls we know within the member class will result in divisiveness and exclusivity. We really want everyone to be able to come to dinners and social gatherings, but sending emails to their listserve will clog their inboxes and confuse us. Girls rarely check their email for social event announcements. There was already so much confusion about where/what time the second year dinner was tonight because we had no idea what information they were receiving. 

As for the respect issue, we are so sorry if it ever seemed like we didn't respect your PC! We absolutely see you as mentors. However, our PC collectively agrees that as sisters, we should all be treated as equals. We don't want them to be intimidated by us - they are our friends and sisters and being a year older doesn't make us any more important than them. 

Final point: the babies want to know who we are. If we have a joint group it will be SO much easier for them to recognize us and for everyone to connect. Most other sororities have these pages and not having one in DG might make them think we don't care about getting to know them as much as other sororities do. 

And I promise that you do not have to worry about any inappropriate groups...that mistake will never be made again...

I know it's ridiculous to basically write an essay pleading for a Facebook group, but our PC feels really strongly about this. If we want to remind them via email anytime something is happening, they might stop opening DG emails!

We will totally understand if you still don't think it's a good idea and we'll respect your decision no matter what!! Just a couple things to think about. Thanks Sarah!

LITB, Alison

--
Sarah Bowden

University of Virginia, Class of 2015