Age Issues

[violento...@my-deja.com]

Recently, i had a long chat with a very good friend. she knows who she
is, and we happened to be discussing an age-sex issue,which provoked
some thought ...this is really an opinion question i suppose, but is
there more leniency(exceptance) among thelemites in age differences? As
in would it bother a 30 year old to date an 18 year old or so(no
younger than 16) on a ~general~ basis? depending on purely sexual or
realitionship status(either or)?
Or is it not a question of wither your a thelemite or not.....?
<kicks bad grammar, and her rather rough usage of language>
-Rhea(Violent)
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-E.R.

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Before you buy.

[ghou...@my-deja.com]

93
Rhea,
Well, I don't think it is necessarily a Thelemic issue as much as it
is a personal issue, however, being a Thelemite, I can't help but make
it a Thelemic issue. Therefore, applying the Law to this question: Do
what thou wilt.
As long as both parties heartily agree to the terms and conditions of
the relationship, then go for it!
93 9393
love,
Ghoul418
--
In Nomine Babalon

[paul...@my-deja.com]

> but is
> there more leniency(exceptance) among thelemites in age differences?
As
> in would it bother a 30 year old to date an 18 year old or so(no
> younger than 16) on a ~general~ basis? depending on purely sexual or
> realitionship status(either or)?

I dunno that it is a Thelemite thing, except insofar (that may be a big
insofar) as our Law emphasizes that you love who you love (or lust for,
as the case may be). The corrolary is that (despite Crowley's poor
personal example) most Thelemites I know are intolerant of sexual
exploitation/predation.

I'm 49, my wife is 30. We've been together about two years, married for
about one, both in the Order. Could have happened in another
setting...the mainstream culture is more tolerant of older men in
relationship with younger women, but certainly no one said boo in the
OTO.

The question arises of whether the difference between 49 and 30 is the
same as the difference, between, say, 39 and 20. 35 and 16? When I
taught high school, the much smaller interval between 25 and 18 seemed
to yawn like the Grand Canyon. Not that I was dating students...the
ethics of teacher-student come into play, beyond any other question of
sexual ethics. I was also mostly inoculated by being recently into my
first marriage.

I will note that in my private judgements I tend to raise an eyebrow
when I see a 30-something (or older) dating a teenager. The use of
people as status symbols ("See my young, sexy chick." "See my older,
well-to-do guy.") is always a danger. Trophy spouses (or simply trophy
lovers) are a phenomenon that worries me, though the impulse is founded
on a a perfectly understandable set of instincts, founded in our
biology. The male displays his success by attracting fertile, nubile
females, whether he impregnates her or not; the female displays her
success by attracting a successful provider, whether he brings home a
giraffe for dinner or a big paycheck. On the African veldt where we
started this walking-upright stuff, or in a modern city, our hormones
respond much the same to the same old stimuli. But I am of two minds
(sometimes more) about reacting unthinkingly to the signals of our
survival-brains without something more substantial to build upon.

On the other hand, I certainly owe a debt of gratitude to a very nice
lady of 20 who enthusiastically demonstrated to me (as a mid-30's
recent divorcee) that I was not totally unattractive to the opposite
sex. And part of that gratitude was certainly that the affair stroked
that old alpha male circuit, and calmed it down.

And I've seen plenty of honest and rewarding relationships spanning 15+
year age gaps. In that, perhaps, Thelema helps, when lived as a high
ideal. You love who you love, and treat them with the respect due
another Star regardless of age, gender, etc.

Ramble mode off.
Paul