Horoscope Humor
ghou...@my-deja.com
Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are
inclined
to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes =
repeatedly
because you are so stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people
=
are
dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice.
You =
do
nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a
prick.
Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think
=
you
are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your
=
friends
and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and
=
are a
general dipshit.
Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have
a
dogged determination and work like hell. Most people Think you are =
stubborn
and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. =
People
like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much
for =
too
little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are notorious for
thriving on incest.
Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of =
other
people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting =
things
off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a
shit.
Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think =
you
are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving
motherfuck=
ers
and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
Virgo (August 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate
disorder. =
Your
shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and coworkers. You
are =
cold
and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo's make good
bus
drivers and pimps.
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a
difficult =
time
dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil.
=
Most
Libra women are whores. All Libra's die of venereal disease.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are
shrewd =
in
business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of
success
because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-
bitch.=
=20
Most Scorpios are murdered.
Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic.
You =
have
a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The
majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.
Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking
=
risks.
You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of
any
importance. You should kill yourself.
--
In Nomine Babalon
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
paul...@my-deja.com
the mid-70's). We have a similar thread running on the egroup for the
mid-Atlantic OTO groups, how different signs react to initiation.
> Horoscopes by Adam Sandler
>
eg. Pisces: "OK, gimme the secrets. WHAT?! That's IT? Do you know how
long I had to drive to get here?!"
ghou...@my-deja.com
93
That's priceless!!! ROFFLMTAO!!!! Can you post it here? Or would that
be sensitive to degree? Hmmm? Hehehe.
93 9393
Ghoul418
--
In Nomine Babalon
I3M
> paul...@my-deja.com wrote:
> >
> > eg. Pisces: "OK, gimme the secrets. WHAT?! That's IT? Do you know
how
> > long I had to drive to get here?!"
Wow, can we *please* see it? It sounds priceless! I understand if you
cannot cross post it, but if you can I will be very grateful! Or what
is the one for Libra?? :->-~
93, 93/93
Sr I3M..
A Witty Saying Proves Nothing ~ Voltaire
paul...@my-deja.com
> > eg. Pisces: "OK, gimme the secrets. WHAT?! That's IT? Do you know
how
> > long I had to drive to get here?!"
> >
I'll see if I can dig it out, but it is a work-in-progress for the
William Blake Oasis newsletter, Heaven and Hell, only $3 newsstand
price...not sure which issue it will see print.
I forget the current Libra entry. It started as determining howlong
people should wait after Minerval before taking Io, based on sign.
Libra can take them at the same time, but had to take them twice...once
to like it, once to not like it.
Paul