Decompiling Oppression #131
Sam McVeety
These days, it's a given that many of my conversations begin with "how are you doing?" accompanied by various degrees of a knowing look. I usually take a considered breath, summoning a knowing look of my own ("how much time do you have?") and respond as honestly as I can for the present moment. Much of the time, I reference acceptance in my response, and the practice of discerning where I have agency and where I don't. As chaos unfolds, we don't have to do nothing; sometimes we can still respond, but in a way that doesn't amplify that chaos.
We can take Elon's sieg heil as an instructive example (truly, a Henry Ford for our times). The point is the controversy: some people will be outraged that one of the most powerful people is reprising a fascist salute, while others will rush to his defense, and the news cycle will spin endlessly around "did he or didn't he?" Trying to win this argument is ultimately a distraction, one that is designed to further polarize people while ultimately accomplishing nothing. We don't have to play his game, though.
On the "of course he didn't” side, at the heart of this denial is something hopeful: that for many people, this kind of flagrant behavior in someone they admire is unimaginable. As strange as it is, that is grounds for common cause, and curiosity. Rather than insisting that they are wrong and missing the obvious, it's an opportunity for curiosity and connection. How we might respond:
"Clearly, the idea that this person is accused of making a fascist gesture is upsetting. What is most threatening to you about the idea that this might be happening?"
"What beliefs about yourself does having this conversation challenge?"
(Somewhere in here, there's a good opportunity to remind people that modern day antisemitism is very real.)
I do find that helping others helps me in turn. In our household, I'm the designated filter for my husband, which means that I sift through the chaos and share anything that I think is truly important. When I do this, it forces me to practice my own kind internal discernment ("if I'm filtering this for someone else, can I filter it for myself?") and put things in perspective.
... Not that I always succeed at this kind of intentionality. Although it's somewhat niche, some of the news that hit me the hardest (it was also late at night, lesson learned) was the takeover and erasure of the United States Digital Service, a group that historically has exemplified the idea that government services should work for everyone, using technology as means towards that end. And yet, when I think about it, it's a show of weakness and emptiness, not of strength. In seeking to destroy what so many people have invested so much in, it's a vandalism of public service that simultaneously underscores the fundamental emptiness of petty nihilism as a governing philosophy.
To be clear, bad things are happening. An incomplete list could begin with the various executive actions on immigration, which signal that this administration will push as hard as the other branches of government (and, crucially, civil society) will let them. Scoring political points through performative cruelty to trans people is simply vile. The shutdown of health research is also very scary. Incidentally (and more on this in a second), it's also almost certainly extremely unpopular, especially when the consequences start playing out.
Throughout this, we have to remember that we're not alone. Paraphrasing Josh Marshall, there's a totalizing effect of elections, where the winning side claims a mandate for everything in their platform. While it's already obvious in the abstract that this can't be true, reactions to the barrage of executive orders are particularly revealing around just how unpopular many of these policies are.
While polls are one thing, we have to practice this not-aloneness in our every day. We have to find the people in our lives who can act as our filters and guides. We have to help each other find an area we care about and go deep, to counterprogram the verbal doomscrolling that keeps us spinning at the surface of things. We don't need experts; we have each other. There is deep wisdom in asking others to ask us powerful questions:
"That issue sounds really important to you. What resonates about it most strongly?"
"What feels doable for you right now?"
"How can I support you in taking that next step?"
While it may not look like marching in the street, there are actions, large and small, that each of us is capable of taking. And, every day, there is strictly less uncertainty about what these four years will hold. Just because I want to practice accepting uncertainty doesn't mean that I don't appreciate clarity when I can have it.
Here are this week's invitations:
Personal: Where would you like to go deep?
Communal: Who is someone in your life who you can coach through these questions? Who is someone who can coach you?
Solidarity: Support the Washington Immigrant Solidarity Network (WAISN), founded and led by queer, trans, and undocumented immigrant organizers and storytellers, and their work to protect, serve, and strengthen communities across the state.
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