thesis depression

[umut]

hi i'm a gradute students just joined this group. I'm doing my MA
thesis. Does anyone help me to overcome my depression?Or give sme ome
suggestion about how to overcome this low mood? I'm crying every day,
started to take antidepressions and of course I lost my self confidence
completely. Couple of days ago, I found myself planning how to give up
this all thesis thing and go back to my country. ( i'm an international
student in Australia) I just wonder how many graduate students face
with severe depression ? And does anyone find a solution to overcome
this and continue to the thesis. thanks for your help.

[Rebeccah Marsh]

Hi Umut. I definitely have a feeling for what you're going through. I'm
about 6-8 months from finishing my PhD, and I feel like the closer I get,
the bigger the task seems. I, too, am fighting depression. I call it
"research anxiety" right now, since I worry that I won't discover anything
new enough, big enough, good enough, or broad enough in scope to be called a
PhD. And this leads me to feel not good enough, etc. I feel alone in this
process, and I'm even starting to pull away from my boyfriend since he just
can't understand what I'm going through (certainly not his fault). Sometimes
I feel like quitting, too. But then I try to remember that this process is
more about persistence than intelligence or worthiness. If you have gotten
this far, you CAN finish it. I think most graduate students go through
similar feelings, and for me, the emotional challenges are almost harder
than the intellectual ones. This is an endurance test more than anything.

I started seeing a counselor at my university over a year ago, and it really
helps. She keeps telling me how normal my feelings are, and while this
doesn't make the process any easier, it does reassure me that I'm not alone
and that I'm not losing my mind. Many, many graduate students fight
depression. You should check out the student services at your university,
since they most likely have free counseling services. It really helps to
talk about it, and most counselors have gone through the process themselves,
so they can provide some good advice. Also try the international students'
association, since they probably have support groups and social events.

I, too, am writing my thesis away from my home, so I know that it adds an
additional sense of loneliness and aloneness. Are there any activities you
can do that are unrelated to your research, such as sports clubs? Just
getting away from your work can help ease the depression. I find that
exercising three times a week also allows me to release some of the anxiety.

Finally, I would try and avoid quitting. I know this time is difficult, so
maybe take a week of holidays if you need to, but try and seek some help
before making a decision to quit. However, if you have tried everything and
still feel horrible, take a leave of absence. You can always come back and
finish it at a later date. I guess my advice in this respect would depend on
how close you are to finishing. If you're like me, you might just need to
just plow on through. But either way, I would recommend getting help in
talking about and dealing with your depression, since it can become like a
cancer and begin to affect all aspects of your life.

I really feel like my anxiety won't go away until I finish, but I also worry
how I'll manage to finish while feeling this way. My current approach is to
set myself doable goals for each day, and literally take it one day and one
page at a time. I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize. I also make sure to
take a break from it on weekends, so I don't burn out too much. Yes, getting
my degree is important, but I don't want to destroy other aspects of my life
while doing it. It's also good to ask for help, like you're doing now. I'm
talking to my counselor and trying to get in contact with other people who
are going through the same thing, even if it's just over email. You can get
support through this group, and feel free to email me personally.

Hang in there, Rebeccah

[Astrid Fischer]

Hi, yes we all suffer from that phase. The number of times that I have thought about quitting... countless! But by now I keep on saying to myself: as long as I'm going forward, I'm not stagnant, and I'm getting there. So maybe I take a step back every once in a while, but that's just part of the natural process!

 

As for feeling lonely: look around you and don't be afraid to step out. Join a club of your choice, wether that is sports, hobby or voluntary work. It helps have friends around you, even if it's only for part of the day. And don't be afraid to talk about it, like Rebecca says, find if there is a counciller at your uni.

 

Good luck! And: you're not alone.

[michelle kaye]

Hi Umut, Hang in there! You are stronger than you
think! All of us, at times, have hit some very low
points. Writing a thesis is difficult and lonely work.
I have thought about giving up more times than I can
count. I don't know what gives me the strength to type
that next sentence, run that experiment, or schedule
that meeting -- maybe it's a secret little hope that
things will get better, that tomorrow or the one after
it, will hold some great promise. I never stop
thinking about tomorrow. I am very sympathetic to your
feelings of loneliness and isolation; I know from my
own experience how hard it is to be far away from the
places you know and the people you love. We have a
great graduate student support group at my university,
maybe yours has one also. If not, perhaps there is a
friendly counselor at your health center. Please don't
hesitate to make an appointment; university counselors
are trained to help students through crises and the
stress of academia. They can be enormously helpful.
Take some time to relax and think things through. I'm
sure whatever decision you come to, will be the right
one for you. Take care! Michelle

--- umut <umut...@hotmail.com> wrote:

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[Teresa Ritter]

Hi Umut,

I hope I can help you out somewhat. I too have struggled with
depression/anxiety for many years and the main trigger has been my
studies.

I have been working on my MA for about 3 1/2 years and am only now
almost done my thesis--making final revisions. That said, some days the
work makes me sick, physically. The anxiety is so strong I feeling like
throwing-up, can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate.

Just know you can get through this. The most important thing is to take
care of yourself, though. Do you have a counsellor you can talk to? In
Canada, most universities have counselling services available free of
charge.

Not to undermine your feelings in any way, please know that many
students go through this and universities are usually quite supportive,
providing extra time, support, etc.

On a day-to-day basis, try to do things that relax you. Take a walk,
see a friend. If you are feeling isolated as an int'l student, maybe
taking a short trip could help. I find physical activitity like
swimming or running can help take my mind off my work and once my body
is tired, I find it easier to concentrate on my studies.

Don't be hard on yourself. Take one day, one hour, even one minute at a
time. Do you have a group of other students you can talk with?

Anyway, please let us know how you are doing.

teresa

----- Original Message -----
From: umut <umut...@hotmail.com>
Date: Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:13 pm
Subject: thesis depression

>
> hi i'm a gradute students just joined this group. I'm doing my MA
> thesis. Does anyone help me to overcome my depression?Or give sme ome
> suggestion about how to overcome this low mood? I'm crying every day,
> started to take antidepressions and of course I lost my self

> confidencecompletely. Couple of days ago, I found myself planning

> how to give up
> this all thesis thing and go back to my country. ( i'm an

> internationalstudent in Australia) I just wonder how many graduate

[umut]

Hi all
thanks all of you. for your suggestions and supports. It's been 1.5
years that I've started this thesis, and still don't know what I'm
doing. Maybe I didn't work enough. I don't know. I think I
underestimated writing MA thesis. :) I think it is the main reason.
and last couple of months of course I started to panic. Actually I'm a
sort of panic person in everthing, but this time I don't know I totally
lost my control I think. I'm an international student, so I paid ( not
I paid my parents paid ) so much money for this course. and now I just
fucked it up ( sorry for my language but it's good description of my
situation right know ) I've missed the days that I studied by enjoying
from it. I have just 5 months, and still I'm reading broadly. I just
fucked it up. I don't believe in god, but I think it will be nice to
believe in him/her. Everday I'm starting with a new hope and at the end
of the day I'm seeing that sitting in front of computer reading things
are not working. I need some brains :) I'm trying to do list which data
I need. Of gosh...Studying is supposed to be joyful. Not like this.
Anyway I have tomorrow to think all day. I'm gonna think about Foucault
and Canada. and human security, and peacebuilding and new world order
etc. I'm neither Canadian, nor living in Canada. I haven't been in
Canada. Why am I doing a thesis on Canada? I think its too late to ask
this question..Canada is such a far country for me, and since 1.5 year
ago I didn't know anything about it. it's interesting that I know so
many things about a 'stranger'. Sorry from all of you. But it is the
end of the day in Sydney. One of the most beatiful cities in the world
with so many 'easy-going' people. and I'm so depressed in this country.
it is not fair. so sorry if I make all of you depressed as well. But
these are my feelings at the moment. I'm trying walk everyday. But I
know my medicine is to write this THESIS. thanks so much for your
support and suggestions.

[umut]

By the way, I've started to see counsellor at my uni. Kind of relaxing.

[Mary McKinney]

Dear Umut, and other group members who've experienced depression,

I'm really glad to hear that you've started to see a counsellor. While
it is normal to feel discouraged and down about a lack of progress,
when you become seriously depressed it is essential to seek
professional help. It is almost impossible to work effectively when
you are struggling wilth clinical depression. And in almost all cases,
depressive disorder is treatable. You CAN feel much better.

Keep us all posted,
Mary

[umut]

I feel really quilty that while everyone is suffering from some degree
of depression, I make myself as the only person who suffer from
depression. So guys I would like to ask how is it going Astrid and
Rebecca with your thesis. And congragulations Terressa. I'm sure now
you're feeling such a relief. And I think you should proud of yourself
as it is really not easy to write when you're in depression.

I'm feeling better today. I don't know why maybe it's because I've
decided to change my theory, so the main question. I don't mind how
long will it take but I just want to do whatever seems right to me.

Also I feel better as I'm not using those anti depressions anymore. It
is so stupid. ONe GP ( who said to me 'listen to your heart' as he's
writing a song ) after seeing you 15 minutes deciding to give a drug.
It is quite stupid. ( maybe another discussion point but it is so
disgusting to know that while governments are so enthusiactic to ban ex
or joint , using anti depressions are so normal that one GP has a right
to give it to you after seeing you 15 minutes. Politics so everywhere)

Anyway. I wish you luck all of you. And keep in touch. As I think last
week it was this group which made me awake and feel better....thanks
guys.

[World Traveler]

Hey Umut,

 

Glad to hear you are feeling better today. :)  Was just wondering - what is your research question?  Also, was wondering if you are frustrated because of how long it is taking or because you are stuck?  If it's that you're stuck, is it in the problem definition, methodology, analysis, organization/structure...?

 

I'm Canadian and just finished my M.A in International Affairs.  If you are thinking of human security, peacekeeping and world order, I bet we're in the same field.  If you're interested, I'd be open to bouncing ideas around with you.

 

Ev

 

 

---

Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos

[michelle kaye]

Hi Umut, I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little
better today. Please don't feel guilty about sharing
your feelings...it's refreshing to hear someone say
what's on their mind. I'm with Ev, please tell us more
about your project. It is always very interesting to
hear what others are studying. Besides, I could use
something to pull me out of my own world right now.
Much stress and paper writing here. Take Care!
Michelle

PS: I know there are a lot of Canadians out there on
this list...Anybody in Thunder Bay or familiar with
the area? I'm moving there for a couple of months soon
to do some research at the DNA lab at Lakehead. Would
love to connect with anyone who could tell me more
about what it's like there. I'm coming from Fairbanks,
Alaska.

[Astrid Fischer]

Hi Umut,

 

glad to hear you're hangin in there!

You asked how I was doing: another two articles rejected, and one that needs major revisions.

But no worries: plenty more magazines out there to send them to, just got to figure out which one.

 

Good news is that modelling my data is finally starting to get somewhere. Just taking small steps at the time and also do other things every once in a while to get your mind of things and look at everything with a fresh eye.

 

From your mail I assume you're thesis is on Canada. As there are many Canadians on this list, why don't you ask for their help? Sometimes it helps to discuss your work with someone else, as they have an unbiased view which can be totally different to your own, which helps you to put things in perspective.

 

Good luck, and just do a little bit at the time, you'll get there!

 

Astrid xx
 

[Victoria Miller]

Michelle
I'm in Halifax, Nova Scotia, but grew up in Ontario. My hubby's Dad and
step-mom
live in Atikokan, about 2 hours west of Thrunder Bay (or T-Bay as the locals
call it) If the people in Thunder Bay are anything like the others I've met
from Northren Ontario, you'll have a pleasant stay. Thunder Bay itself is a
fairly well-appointed city, with most of the amenities you'd want/expect. i've
heard good things about Lakehead. i know that there is a satellite site for
McMaster University (my alma mater) there, so the research and
facilites should
be pretty good. Beautiful lake area- hmm go figure, Lakehead U.... tee hee! I
love the sleeping giant. It is quite breath-taking to fly into the airport.
There hasn't been as much snow up there as usual this year- it's been
weird all
other in that respect. The usual winter temps hover around -20C, and summer
will reach 20-25C. Enjoy!
Vicky

[Rebeccah Marsh]

Hi Astrid. Good to hear you’re making progress! I actually have two questions for you:

 

(1) How do you not take article rejection personally?! I find that whole process quite difficult, because I’m invested personally in my research, and if they don’t like it, what does that say about my thesis? I know I should remain more objective, but I do find that hard. Plus, the thought of making major revisions is daunting, as I usually don’t even want to look at the paper again!

 

(2) How do you juggle data modeling and article writing? Do you do a bit of each every day, or do you alternate and focus on just one at a time? I’m struggling with this as well right now. I feel like there are so many things that need to get done.

 

Anyway, any advice from your experience would be appreciated!

 

Thanks, Rebeccah

  

 

---

[Rebeccah Marsh]

Hi Umut. I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better. For me, this whole process
has been up and down, up and down. Ideas and results will look good one day,
but not the next. But once you realize that things WILL go up again, that
makes the downs seem not so hopeless.

My research is going okay. My main problem is that I've got so many bits of
things started but not finished. They never seem "done" or "good enough",
but I'm trying to stop that thinking or I'll never graduate! But I do need
to set some goals and just start finishing projects off. I fixed and reran
all that code that I'd told you about, and the results aren't too different,
so that is a huge relief. I'm going to attempt to draft that article this
week. But I'm still getting bouts of depression. And I'm also worried that
I'm getting jaded about all of academia, so I'm trying to just not take
everything so seriously. I also bought some books from Amazon that are very
helpful:

Getting What You Came For: The Smart Student's Guide to Earning a Master's
of PhD, by Robert L. Peters
A PhD Is Not Enough. A Guide to Survival in the Sciences, by Peter J.
Feibelman
Playing the Game: The Streetsmart Guide to Graduate School, by F. Frank and
K. Stein (who I am convinced are Canadian)

Keep up the good work!

Rebeccah

-----Original Message-----
From: DeadThes...@googlegroups.com
[mailto:DeadThes...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of umut
Sent: Sunday, February 12, 2006 5:15 PM
To: Dead Thesis Society

[umut]

Dear Ev
Thanks for your message. I'm looking at Canadian human security policy.
My theory and my main question changed over time. My main question at
the moment ( hopefully it won't change) HOw does Canadian human
security policy represent a form of liberal governmentality through
security and development discourses? So I try to apply Foucauldian
perspective. My problem is to find a good case study. - what I've
thought peacebuilding ( esp- security sector reform ) can be a good
example in order to prove that. But the problem with those is those
operations are multilateral and cannot be reduce only to Canadian
perspective. Other possibility is counter terrorism movement in Latin
America. ( but of course criticizing Canada is not easy from this
perspective, I should admit that Canadian approach in - peacebuilding,
war on drugs or terrorism ) is less strict and more progressive. And in
none of the area Canada applies a sort of 'colonism' type of
governmentality. ( I agree to Axworthy that Canada is sort of
'value-added' nation in many areas- but of course the depth of those
areas e.g. its small arms project or landmines is open to discussion.

What was your research topic? Did you work on human security as well ?

Thanks so much
c u
umut

World Traveler wrote:
> Hey Umut,
>
> Glad to hear you are feeling better today. :) Was just wondering - what is your research question? Also, was wondering if you are frustrated because of how long it is taking or because you are stuck? If it's that you're stuck, is it in the problem definition, methodology, analysis, organization/structure...?
>
> I'm Canadian and just finished my M.A in International Affairs. If you are thinking of human security, peacekeeping and world order, I bet we're in the same field. If you're interested, I'd be open to bouncing ideas around with you.
>
> Ev
>
>
>
>

> ---------------------------------

> Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos

> --0-807593125-1139797729=:99845
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> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
> X-Google-AttachSize: 829
>
> <div>Hey Umut,</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>Glad to hear you are feeling better today. :)&nbsp; Was just wondering - what is your research question?&nbsp; Also, was wondering if you are frustrated because of how long it is taking or because you are stuck?&nbsp; If it's that you're stuck, is it in the problem definition, methodology, analysis, organization/structure...?</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>I'm Canadian and just finished my M.A in International Affairs.&nbsp; If you are thinking of human security, peacekeeping and world order, I bet we're in the same field.&nbsp; If you're interested, I'd be open to bouncing ideas around with you.</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>Ev</div> <div>&nbsp;</div> <div>&nbsp;</div><p>
> <hr size=1>Find your next car at <a href="http://autos.yahoo.ca"><b>Yahoo! Canada Autos</b></a>
> --0-807593125-1139797729=:99845--

[World Traveler]

Hi Umut!

 

Interesting question.  This is not really my area but I've been exposed to it in some of my coursework (and friends research topics), so I will try out some thoughts.  (I'd also love to learn more so I hope you'll keep sharing your thoughts)  If I make errors in theory etc... please feel free to correct me and I'm sorry in advance.

 

From what I understand, liberal governmentality basically means that a state develops, maintains, organizes, and manages freedoms in the name of security.  The Foucauldian perspective basically describes three types of struggles that a state might be trying to mitigate: (1) struggle against domination, (2) struggle against exploitation, and (3) struggle against subjection.  The two concepts are related in that the struggle depicted by the Foucauldian perspective are struggles to obtain liberal governmentality.  This is my starting point.  I hope it's correct, but again if I've made errors, please correct me.

 

So, in the way I read your question, I see an implicit assumption that Canada justifies its human security policy in terms of security concerns more broadly - ie. Canada establishes it's human security policy in order to protect it's own citizens...  While I think this is certainly true, I question whether it is the sole motivator.  ie. Canada is a middle power and human security is one area where it can gain power.  The acquision of power is clearly in our interest as it allows us negotiating power in other areas.  I suppose this could be brought around again to security, in that by gaining negotiating power, Canada is indeed protecting its citizens security in other areas.  From my perspective, though, this argument can be applied to any state action, especially if security is defined broadly enough.

 

Perhaps an amended question could be:

How does Canadian human security policy promote Canadian national interests? or Why is human security policy a priority on Canada's international agenda?

 

This would eliminate the implicit assumption.  Liberal governmentality could then still be examined in this context.  Maybe you will even find that indeed our human security policy is developed in the name of national security.  But maybe it will be something else, or maybe it will be only one aspect and there might be other important factors.  Canada's latest International Policy Statement articulated four national interests: diplomacy, defence, development, and commerce.  I think that the human security policy touches on all four of these intersts.  If you wanted to limit it further though, you could ask:  How does Canadian human security policy promote the Canadian national interest of defence?

 

I also think that looking at human security policy broadly would be a huge endeavour and so I agree with you, in that I think you should pick one area to focus on.  I do have a suggestion.  Perhaps it would be interesting to look at Canada's international role and policy in terms of the Responsibility to Protect initiative.  This is a clear area where Canada is taking leadership and so perhaps it would make a good case study since Canada's role could be distinguished from other players, even though the initiative is still multilateral.

Those are my initial thoughts.  I hope they've been helpful.  Please continue to write as I do find this really interesting and would love to help in any way I can.

 

My focus was more on the development side.  My thesis looked at the drivers of sustainability and causes of failure of rural water supply systems in the Ecuadorian Andes.  But, since my degree was in International Affairs and not International Development, our 2 required courses were designed to give us some breadth in the other areas  (trade, conflict, human security, institutions/governance, and development) of international affairs, rather than just our stream - I did the development stream.  I also took one course in Canadian foreign policy and diplomacy, but as course work was before the thesis, the courses were actually quite a while ago.

 

I am in the process of doing a second M.Sc in Water and Waste Engineering.  My interest is in sustainable infrastructure development in developing countries.  I think it's important to understand both the technical and social aspects of the issue because technical competence in the absence of an understanding of development and social issues has led to numerous failed projects in this area.  So... that's why I'm doing both.

 

I defended my thesis for my M.A in September though, so I decided that I needed a break and took a semester off.  I will start back on the second M.Sc in June.  I have completed 5 of 8 courses for the M.Sc and then I will need to do another thesis.  I'm thinking or at least hoping that the next one will go smoother because I've gained the experience of the first thesis, but who knows - will have to wait and see.

 

Hope you will keep writing.

Ev

 

umut <umut...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>

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Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos

> --0-807593125-1139797729=:99845--

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[Astrid Fischer]

Hi Rebeccah,

 

in answer to your questions
1) I don't take it personally because I know the scientific world is just really prejudiced. Names they know get accepted more quickly then names they have never heard off. It's no use taking it personally. I mean, a computer generated article got accepted for a conference (it was peer-reviewed!).
My problem is that I'm in the field of oceanography, but working from a radiochemistry perspective. It's an uncommon combination, and therefore it means that I don't fit in with the rest. That just makes it harder to publish, but I'm going to proof them that I can do it!

 

2) I tend to do one at the time. Once I get fed up with one, I start on the other. It helps me to keep a clear mind. 
But at the moment my normal pc has crashed (the fan of the power unit has gone, and I don't want my mother board to overheat so need to get it repaired) so am working from my laptop at the moment. As I don't have my reference manager database on that one, I can only do some modelling now. But getting there!

 

Hang in there, am sure that you'll get there in the end. As long as you take two steps forward before you take one back we'll get there in the end.

Astrid

 

[aspirew...@gmail.com]

Hey,

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