Nonsens?
André° R. Mastel
<http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/>
And "*urmelnd*" r้ฐ
--
___ Woher soll ich wissen, was ich denke,
.|||. bevor ich sehe, was ich schreibe?
(o o) afn = <news:at.freizeit.nonsens>
ooO--(_)--Ooo--------------------------------<http://www.mastel.ch>-+
Hans Riesen
>> BEGIN
Things For All
Introduction
Who can forget the iconic image of Lynndie England, the ugly she-man,
grinning and pointing at an Iraqi prisoner-of-war's cock?
The image has shocked, sickened and outraged people. But more
importantly, it has captured the imagination of young men and women all
around the world who don't give much of a shit about anything. The
result is a new craze called "doing a Lynndie". If you aren't "doing a
Lynndie" now, you soon will be.
So what does doing a Lynndie involve? Here are the basic instructions:
Find a victim who deserves to be "Lynndied".
Make sure you have a friend nearby with a camera ready to capture the
"Lynndie".
Stick a cigarette (or pen) in your mouth and allow it to hang slightly
below the horizontal.
Face the camera, tilt your upper body slightly forward but lean back on
your right leg.
Make a hitchhiking gesture with your right hand and extend your right
arm so that it's in roughly the same position as if you were holding a
rifle.
Keeping your left arm slightly bent, point in the direction of the
victim and smile.
Ideally, you should refrain from telling the victim what you're about to
do. Victims who are unaware, bemused or angry make for a Lynddie that is
more in keeping with the original.
National Anthem
As with any good sporting event, things can't get started without some
half-assed nod towards nationality. Rather than request that you all
stand up and sing "God Save Our Gracious Queen", I'd ask, instead, that
you spend a few seconds contemplating Queen Elizabeth II, her husband
and her son being Lynndied by a nonchalant American at the Braemar Royal
Highland Gathering. (Click on the picture and it should "go all big".)
Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip and Prince Charles, Braemar,
Scotland, UK
The Perfect Lynndie
There is a big philosophical debate over whether it is possible to
achieve the "perfect" Lynndie. Even with a cigarette, the correct hand
configuration and a grin at the camera, an excellent Lynndie can be
tarnished by the temptation to bend one's knees like an Elvis
impersonator. I'm not sure perfection will ever be possible. But for
excellent posture, commitment and attention to detail, Haski's
"Halloween Suite" will be hard to top.
Top 10 Classic Lynndies
Do you want to be the best diminutive, pea-brained, gender-bending
torturer in the world? Well this is the kind of thing you need to be
aiming for.
Operation, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Mother on telephone, Arlington, Texas, USA
Crying child and angry father at Disneyland, Anaheim, California, USA
Drunk girl, Primrose Hill, London, UK
Man puking into toilet, The Netherlands
Drunk woman, West Hampstead, London
Nigerian e-mail scammers with bags over heads, Nigeria
Drunk old woman, St. Paul, Minnesota, USA
Disgruntled toddler, Lake Calcasieu, Louisiana, USA
Diabetic injecting himself with insulin, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Top 10 Celebrity Lynndies
If you manage to Lynndie somebody well-known, you deserve a Purple Heart
(or some other stupidly named medal to stick on your tit); it's not an
easy business.
Ryan Dunn Lynndieing James Hewitt, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
Chris Evans, Primrose Hill, London, UK
Hayden Christensen, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
John Waters, San Francisco, California, USA
Dennis Rodman, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
Michelle from Big Brother, Kew Gardens, London
Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" at LAX, Los Angeles,
California, USA
Jimmy Somerville, Ahaus, Germany
Steven Norris, MP and London Mayoral Failure, Trafalgar Square,
London, UK
Frances de la Tour, Leicester Square, London, UK
Top 5 Police Lynndies
Law enforcement officers are known for being able to give and receive a
decent Lynndie.
Policewoman at concert, New Braunfels, Texas, USA
Policeman, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Policemen standing around at festival, Silver Lake, Los Angeles, USA
Police double-Lynndie, Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA
Nonchalant policemen, Venice, Italy
Top 5 Animal Lynndies
It's not just police, celebrities, drunks and people showing their asses
that need to be Lynndied. What about animals?
Turtle, Hawaii, USA
Pug triptych, San Francisco, California, USA
Stuck pig, Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, UK
Poodle with glowing eyes, Ohio, USA
Pigs, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Top 5 Inanimate Lynndies
You may not have anyone to point at. You may not be allowed within 50
metres of an animal (living or dead). So what? Join the party.
Electric chair victim, USA
Sausages, Windsor, California, USA
Painting of Stephen Hawking, Trafalgar Square, London, UK
Snowman trio, Davison, Michigan, USA
Recruitment centre in Times Square, New York, USA
Top 5 Photoshopped Lynndies
If you don't get out much, you can always look on the SIBID for
potential Lynndie participants and give them a quick fiddle with your
mouse pointer. Here's the cream of the Photoshop crop.
Darth Vader, Spaceship
Dipsy, Tellytubbyland, UK
George Bush, Weimar Republic
George Bush, Washington DC, USA
Women in bikinis, USA
The Rest
Bottle of Crunk juice, USA
Fried chicken outlet, Port Vila, Vanuatu
Man with shorts and glowing New Balance training shoes, Austin, Texas, USA
Man vomiting against wall, Munich, Germany
Large bottle of Duvel balanced on thumb, Leuven, Belgium
Man with disembodied hand grasping face, Austin, Texas, USA
Drunk girls, Germany
Shark sign, Port Vila, Vanuatu
Sleeping man with groomed beard, Munich, Germany
Son Lynddie-ing father's whitetail deer with M16 assault rifle, Long
Island, New York, USA
Pole-dancing youths, Germany
Klansman, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Marijuana plant, Ocho Rios, Jamaica
Men with strippers astride their crotches, Tampa, Florida, USA
Yoda, Geneva, Switzerland
Mounted fish, Port Vila, Vanuatu
Cheshire Cat, Geneva, Switzerland
Terri Schiavo, Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Stormtrooper, Geneva, Switzerland
Lobster, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Giant Cheshire Cat clock, Geneva, Switzerland
Brewery, Port Vila, Vanuatu
Chewbacca, Geneva, Switzerland
Dumbo, Disneyland, Anaheim, California, USA
Siegfried and Roy, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
Photographer, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Small toy animal sat in char, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, USA
Redneck, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Man's bejeaned ass, Sacramento, California, USA
Man in yellow apron, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Hot rod race employee, Ennis, Texas, USA
Bonfire, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Man in hat sitting on toilet, Houna, Louisiana, USA
Body draped over sofa, Mexico
Virtually naked man holding ball, Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California, USA
Recreation services magazine, Eugene, Oregon, USA
Drugged man dancing in waistcoat, Tilburg, The Netherlands
Man sleeping on sofa, Rheinfelden, Germany
Snoozer, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Gay snoozer, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Base jumping accident victim, Australia
Man drinking from strange receptacle, Port Vila, Vanuatu
Drunkard, Santiago, Chile
Goth inhaling marijuana via bong, Eureka, California, USA
Living statue, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
Man Lynndie-ing goose, Helsingborg, Sweden
Woman playing pool, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Swearing quarterback holding bong, USA
Swine barn, Woodstock, Connecticut, USA
Man sucking bottle, Germany
Golden retriever, Silver Lake, Los Angeles, USA
Butt Hole Road, Conisborough, Yorkshire, UK
Goose, Helsingborg, Sweden
Advertisement for doctor with unusual name, Clinton Township, Michigan, USA
Starfish, Le Lagon Resort, Vanuatu
Phallic rock formation, Koh Samui, Thailand
Local girl, Koh Samui, Thailand
Man in shower, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Harry Potter fan, Chinatown, Oakland, California
Dinosaur, Orlando, Florida, USA
Street guitarist, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Bride, Duluth, Minnesota, USA
Grinning man in white t-shirt and green trousers
Wild animal tableau, West Virginia, USA
Berry Go Round, London, Ontario, Canada
Skewed tourist attraction, Pisa, Italy
Manure sign, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Portable toilet, London, Ontario, Canada
Man with striped shirt and wispy facial hair, Germany
Man asleep in chair beneath poster of naked woman, Parkes, New South
Wales, Australia
Giant phallus, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Policewoman offering safety advice, Traunreut, Bavaria, Germany
Alligator, Hilton Head, South Carolina, USA
Star Wars fan dressed as C3PO, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Old man eating hot dog, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Incapacitated man with ripped shirt and ginger bowl-cut, Glastonbury,
Somerset, UK
Future groom sitting on makeshift toilet, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Star Wars fan dressed as Jango Fett, Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
University students, Bangkok, Thailand
Student sitting examination, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Orange cowboy dual Lynndie, Orange County, California, USA
Top 10 victim being re-Lynndied, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Grenadier guard, London, England, UK
Teacher sitting at desk, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Different teacher sitting at desk, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Aeroplane, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Airport, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Girl reaching up to ceiling, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Stan Smith, Langley Falls, Virginia, USA
Student sleeping in classroom, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Man on couch grasping genitals, Bagdad, Tasmania, Australia
Skull and Bones crypt, Yale, New Haven, Connecticut, USA
Fibreglass pirate, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
Statue, Easter Island
Man in pink shirt squatting, Bagdad, Tasmania, Australlia
Propane grill, Butler, Pennsylvania, USA
Lindsey Lohan, USA
Three-way fireside Lynndie, Bagdad, Tasmania, Australlia
Skeleton, USA
Bagdad Road House, Bagdad, Tasmania, Australlia
Car designed for child, Malm?weden
Dancer's arm clad in blue jumper, Mallorca, Spain
Barman pouring spirit-based drinks, Mallorca, Spain
Man urinating, Mallorca, Spain
Man sitting on playground appartus, Malm?weden
Advertisement for personal audio player, USA
She-male in Hawaiian shirt, USA
Anaheim Angels logo, Anaheim, California, USA
Pope Benedict XVI, Berlin, Germany
Victimless Lynndie, USA
Man with guitar, USA
Watermelon, New York City, USA
Man in swimming trunks, Lake Canandaigua, New York, USA
Pope Benedict XVI, Berlin, Germany
Protestors, USA
Potato wedges, Garrettsville, Ohio, USA
Ambulance man, London, England, UK
Screaming person, Somewhere
Person dressed as Darth Vader for Star Wars premiere, Bielefeld, Germany
Student in pink t-shirt, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Man in Pixies t-shirt playing poker, New Hampshire, USA
Police car, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Student in football shirt, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Red pool table, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Girl wearing ponytail, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Surfing sign, Santiago, Chile
Teacher, Dudley, Massachussetts, USA
Parrot, Mesa, Arizona, USA
Whale tail, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Xbox 360 at games convention, Los Angeles, California, USA
Sign pointing to Shelly Beach, Manly, New South Wales, Australia
Saddam Hussein, Iraq
Signed photograph of Boris Johnson, Bristol, Avon, UK
Mozart's grave, Vienna, Austria
Barbie, USA
Giant head, USA
Soon-to-be-married man forced to drink too much, UK
"Empty" Lynndie by cardboard baseball player, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, USA
Women in chair, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Soon-to-be-married man, comatose, with cigarette stuck in butthole, UK
Moped, Germany
Member of Salvation Army, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Policeman in front of car, Manitowoc, Wisconsin, USA
Anal bus, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Hellraiser, Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA
Man wearing kilt, USA
Former mayor, Puerto Limon, Puerto Rico
Mickey Mouse, Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA
Unappealing patriotic art, Caribbean Sea
Planks of wood in hostel, Stockholm, Sweden
Stormtrooper, Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA
Beercan House, Houston, Texas, USA
Ample spread held together with belts, USA
Manager dressed as a woman, Parkersburg, West Virginia, USA
Manager still dressed as a woman, Parkersburg, West Virginia, USA
Banjo, Arkansas, USA
Bare-chested man asleep on grass at sporting event, USA
Passenger sleeping at airport, South Korea
Unpopular political figure, Bruno Grollnisch, France
Giant naked statue, Manhattan, New York City, USA
Retarded torturing munchkin on computer monitor, Edinburgh, Scotland, UK
Customised Pacer, Davison, Michigan, USA
Man passed out at bar, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Alien behind glass, Roswell, New Mexico, USA
Disc jockey, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Oral sex simulation, London, UK
Sock-sandal combination, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Dead rabbit, Northampton, Northamptonshire, UK
1983 American League rookie of the year, Chicago, Illinois, USA
Office golfer, USA
Shamed brother, Seymour, Connecticut, USA
SUV driver, USA
Man asleep on aeroplane, USA
Man using piece of wood as surrogate penis, Parkse, New South Wales,
Australia
Girls, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Cherub Lynndies painter Orazio Riminaldi, Florence, Italy
Man sleeping face down at LAN party, The Netherlands
Youth asleep on coach, Florence, Italy
Overweight Luton Town Football Club supporter, Bournemouth, Dorset, UK
Woman with large ass, Thailand
Mao Zedong, Forbidden City, China
Man consuming KFC value meal, Brno, Czech Republic
Neon signs, Niagara Falls, Canada
Butt belonging to woman buying cakes in patisserie, USA
Man pretending to be Terri Schiavo, The Netherlands
Customised car, Canberra, Australia
Woman on floor, Davison, Michigan, USA
Wrist injury, The Alps
Chairman Mao, The Forbidden City, China
Baby in hat, USA
Mosh girl, USA
Penis drawn in shaving foam, Statesboro, Georgia, USA
Genocidal despot, Berlin, Germany
Big bald man with skeletal face paint, Manhattan, New York City, USA
Babies in Plymouth Voyager LE 3.0 litre automatic, Hungary
T-shirt hell, USA
Man wearing cap, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Cowbell, USA
Microbus Lynndied by actress Wanda Ventham, UK
Hungry ass, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Anonymised prisoner in Arrested Development sitcom, USA
Blow-up doll, Madison, Wisconsin, USA
Girl nearly showing buttocks, USA
Photographer, Southern California, USA
Huskies beginning the 33rd Iditarod race, Willow, Alaska
Man decorating wall, Somewhere
Man in bodywarmer lying on couch, Barmouth, Wales, UK
Man with glasses looking upwards, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Couples celebrating Valentine's Day, Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
Christo's Gates, Central Park, Manhattan, New York City, USA
Chuck E. Cheese, USA
Would-be Pop Idol in radio studio, The Netherlands
Doll parts on a bed, Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
Shelving unit, Freiburg, Germany
Bad art displayed in Gallery, USA
Drunk man exposing himself, Thailand
Sign giving information about manatee, Georgia, USA
Cardboard model of Captain Kirk, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Chalk figure at crime scene, Sandy Bay, Tasmania, Australia
Gandalf, Middle Earth
Prince Charles, Windsor, Berkshire, UK
Man exposing fat gut, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Salesman's ass, USA
Sign, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Band performing Van Morrison song, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Stellar sealion in aquarium, Seward, Alaska, USA
Fat woman with torso dressed in black carrier bag, Disneyland, Anaheim,
California, USA
Anti-smoking advertisement in hospital, Portland, Oregon, USA
Vince Power, Organiser of Reading Festival, Reading, Berkshire, UK
Bare leg, Chicago, Illinois, USA
Fat man with strange hair using telephone, The Netherlands
Volleyball mascot, KaposvᲬ Hungary
Lake, Temagami, Ontario, Canada
Sea creature, Carlsbad, California, USA
Blood, Chicago, Illinois, USA
Woman in bikini, Parkes, New South Wales, Australia
Jerry Springer, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
Molly Malone, Dublin, Ireland
Jerry Don King, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
Policeman/woman with gaping mouth, Munich, Germany
Drunk bearded man in shorts and sunglasses, Sydney, New South Wales,
Australia
Pregnant woman with bag on head, Waterford, Michigan, USA
Cage, The Netherlands
Caveman up against wall, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, USA
Person wearing grey sheet and tinsel, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
Alligator, Everglades National Park, Florida, USA
Man wearing telephonic headset, USA
Santa Claus , Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, USA
Drunk man, London, UK
Man with huge sideburns exposing chest, The Netherlands
Shop worker in red t-shirt, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, USA
Cakes, D?orf, Germany
Soldier on leave from Iraq, Palo Alto, California, USA
Floor, D?orf, Germany
Man holding piece of paper, Hearst Castle
Fireworks on a dock at Lake St. Clair, Olympia, Washington, USA
Bag, D?orf, Germany
Art doll, USA
Drunk skinhead, Munich, Germany
Christmas tree, Kingston, Ontario, Canada
Boxes in warehouse, Eschweiler, Germany
Giant ass, Manhattan, New York, USA
Vagitarian, Rock Hill, South Carolina, USA
Michael Jackson, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Man eating chocolate cake, Thailand
Girl in striped top, Thailand
People wearing bags on heads, USA
"Frank" at an Indiepop convention, New York, USA
People asleep on beach, Thailand
Goat, Mount Rushmore, South Dakota, USA
Hillbilly exposing buttock, USA
Couldn't you find your Lynndie on this page? That means it's old, shit
or both. It might be here.
Merchandise
If you hate Bad Gas, don't keep it to yourself. Bellow your hatred from
the rooftops with some Bad Gas merchandise.
Just smash your head on the button below to begin spending money you
probably don't have.
The minimal proceeds help to keep Bad Gas alive. Shame.
Give
This site guzzles gigabytes of bandwidth a day. It's pissing expensive.
So I don't have to rent my ass to old men or start annoying you with
banner ads, can you click the button below?
Go on. I might let you into the Video Library or the Headphones Required
section.
The Law
Before you get big and clever, go and read the Bad Gas copyright statement.
Things That Aren't Here
Cruel Site Of The Day
Fat Chicks In Party Hats
Cliff Yablonski Hates You
B3TA
Phone Bashing
The World's Heaviest People
Blue Jam Bar Guide
Jen Collins
If you hate Bad Gas, don't keep it to yourself. Bellow your hatred
from the rooftops with some Bad Gas merchandise.
Just smash your head on the button below to begin spending money you
probably don't have.
The minimal proceeds help to keep Bad Gas alive. Shame.
Give
This site guzzles gigabytes of bandwidth a day. It's pissing expensive.
So I don't have to rent my ass to old men or start annoying you with
banner ads, can you click the button below?
Go on. I might let you into the Video Library or the Headphones Required
section.
The Law
Before you get big and clever, go and read the Bad Gas copyright statement.
Things That Aren't Here
Cruel Site Of The Day
Fat Chicks In Party Hats
Cliff Yablonski Hates You
B3TA
Phone Bashing
The World's Heaviest People
Blue Jam Bar Guide
Jen Collins
>>END
OJ
Fandseinerlustich.
Mitko Rürup
[komplettt-website-zitat genipped]
Meinste nicht das wir durchaus in der Lage sind dem Link von alleine zu
folgen anstatt hier ne Website komplett zu posten, die ohne Bilder nicht
viel sinn macht?
OJ: Was zeugen zwei Schwule? Ein Arschlochkind.
Joachim Linde
> [komplettt-website-zitat genipped]
Danke!
> Meinste nicht das wir durchaus in der Lage sind dem Link
> von alleine zu folgen anstatt hier ne Website komplett zu
> posten, die ohne Bilder nicht viel sinn macht?
Von diesen Spezialisten wimmelt es hier anscheinend nur so.
OJ in zwei Akten:
1. Der will nur spielen
2. Huch, das hat er ja noch nie gemacht...