Rich,
I believe that ARR was separated from the main DCM4CHEE installation for exactly this reason - the ARR db can get quite big so you're definitely going down the correct route for having it installed on a separate VM instance. By the sounds of things, if you've not installed ARR on any system before, then you're also in a good spot. For what I can see, there's no downside to doing what you're suggesting. Although I've not worked in the same environment as yours, I don't believe that there's an issue in having multiple dcm4chee's posting to the ARR db either. All you would need to do is configure each dcm4chee instance to use the centralized ARR VM which holds the arrdb.