Hey

[Rich]

I have not heard from any of you in awhile, so I thought I'd put
something out here to see if it spurs some conversation.

I know we are not the most talkative or social people on the planet,
but we all share something unique in that we were stupid enough to let
people drill holes into our heads and implant an experimental device.

I'm not asking that we all come together and do a reality show, but I
would like to hear from you all and how your doing and if there is
anything I can do for any of you.

On the bright side, maybe in 10,000 years one of us might get dug up
and our skull, with the accompanying wires, might end up in the
antique wing of some medical museum?

[Jan Van Maele]

Hi Rich,

I have not been well lately and have been in the Leuven hospital for two weeks to see what could be done. The tentative conclusion was that I'm not really depressed (which I think is true) but that it is my generalized anxiety disorder (GAS) which has struck again and that the dbs cannot control that. Prof. Nuttin told me that he is at present experimenting on laboraroty animals to find the stimulation targets for anxiety disorders, which he believes are different from the depression targets. The GAS has struck again because after ten years of chronic depression plus GAS my social network has been reduced to my two loving children, my girlfried and the two (2) friends who have remained absolutely loyal all these years. Which is not enough of course. To make things worse, I'm living all by myself. I did start working again in February 2009, but as a freelance translator I'm working all alone at home. Contacts with clients and colleagues go through e-mail for 95% and by telephone for the other 5%. I am now on the waiting list of an outpatient rehabilitation centre for ex-psychiatric patients here in Bruges, which has a team of psychiatrists, psychologists, behaviour and occupational therapists and social workers, and which aims at the reintegration of ex-psychiatric patients in society. All covered by the Belgian national health insurance. General conclusion: dbs for depression is great if it works, but even then you still need rehab.

Take care.

Jan

2010/2/23 Rich <rhayw...@hotmail.com>

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_____________________

Jan Van Maele
Taal-, vertaal- en redactiewerk
Gulden-Peerdenstraat 9
8310 Assebroek (Brugge)
tel.: 050/67.35.90
gsm: 0498/26.73.81
jan.va...@base.be

[Rich Hayward]

Jan,
 
I was sorry to hear your having such difficulties with your anxiety. Two weeks in the hospital is a long time, though I've always found that time to be comfortable as I am around people who are like me. Trouble is that your there for a reason and not a good one at all, but at least they are still working on your behalf. In our study they just kind of said thanks, bye, good luck.
 
Your description of your life outside the hospital hits so very close to home for me as our two situations are (were actually) so similar. I lived and worked alone, mostly from home which is absolutely the worst possible situation. I really only have 1 friend, am divorced and luckily had no children. I live with family now which is better, but nobody no matter how close they are to you really understands what this illness can and does to a person. It's hard on them, which only serves to make us feel worse. 
 
It was nice to hear from you despite the less than perfect news. Don't let that bastard of an illness get the best of you, stay in the game and just fight the hell out of it. In the mean time you can increase your number of loyal friends to 3.

Rich Hayward




 

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Date: Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:17:06 +0100
Subject: Re: Hey
From: jvan...@gmail.com
To: dbs-for-d...@googlegroups.com

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[Jan Van Maele]

Hi Rich,

You know, I think that one of the reasons why the stigma of depression and other psychiatric diseases is still so  persisent, is that we simply cannot stand up for our rights. I have a lot of respect for homosexual people, who have not chosen for their condition just like us, and I support their right to organize Gay Parades, to lobby, to get married etc. But when I see those TV reports, I cannot help thinking that a Depri Parade in the streets of New York, Amsterdam, Brussels or London would just be impossible. We are loners in the true sense of the word.

Thanks a lot for your support.

Jan

2010/2/23 Rich Hayward <rhayw...@hotmail.com>