Fwd: FOOTBALL IS COMING SOON

[j...@dawahares.com]

the quotes are good, but the jokes are really funny.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fwd: FOOTBALL IS COMING SOON
Date: 30.08.2016 20:31


> _"GENTLEMEN, IT IS BETTER TO HAVE DIED A SMALL BOY THAN TO FUMBLE THE
> FOOTBALL"_ - JOHN HEISMAN  
>  
> _"I MAKE MY PRACTICES REAL HARD BECAUSE IF A PLAYER IS A QUITTER, I
> WANT HIM TO QUIT IN PRACTICE, NOT IN A GAME."_ – BEAR BRYANT /
> ALABAMA
>  
> _"__IT ISN'T NECESSARY TO SEE A GOOD TACKLE, YOU CAN HEAR IT!”_ -
> KNUTE ROCKNE / NOTRE DAME  
>  
> _"AT GEORGIA SOUTHERN, WE DON'T CHEAT. THAT COSTS MONEY, AND WE DON'T
> HAVE ANY."_ – ERIK RUSSELL / GEORGIA SOUTHERN 
>  
> _"THE MAN WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT THE WAY THE BALL BOUNCES IS LIKELY TO
> BE THE ONE WHO DROPPED IT."_  -  LOU HOLTZ / ARKANSAS - NOTRE DAME
>  
> _"WHEN YOU WIN, NOTHING HURTS."_  -  JOE NAMATH / ALABAMA
>  
> _"A SCHOOL WITHOUT FOOTBALL IS IN DANGER OF DETERIORATING INTO A
> MEDIEVAL STUDY HALL."_  -  FRANK LEAHY / NOTRE DAME 
>  
> _"THERE'S NOTHING THAT CLEANSES YOUR SOUL LIKE GETTING THE HELL
> KICKED OUT OF YOU."_  -  WOODY HAYES / OHIO STATE 
>  
> _"I DON'T EXPECT TO WIN ENOUGH GAMES TO BE PUT ON NCAA PROBATION.  I
> JUST WANT TO WIN ENOUGH TO WARRANT AN INVESTIGATION."_  -  BOB
> DEVANEY / NEBRASKA   
>
> _"IN ALABAMA , AN ATHEIST IS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN BEAR
> BRYANT."_  -  WALLY BUTTS / GEORGIA
>  
> _"I NEVER GRADUATED FROM IOWA.  BUT I WAS ONLY THERE FOR TWO TERMS -
> TRUMAN'S AND EISENHOWER'S."_  –  ALEX KARRAS / IOWA 
>  
> _"MY ADVICE TO DEFENSIVE PLAYERS IS TO TAKE THE SHORTEST ROUTE TO THE
> BALL, AND ARRIVE IN A BAD HUMOR.”_  -  BOWDEN WYATT / TENNESSEE 
>  
> _"I COULD HAVE BEEN A RHODES SCHOLAR EXCEPT FOR MY GRADES."__ _-
> DUFFY DAUGHERTY / MICHIGAN STATE
>  
> "_ALWAYS REMEMBER GOLIATH WAS A 40 POINT FAVORITE OVER
> DAVID."__ _-  SHUG JORDAN / AUBURN   
>  
> _"I ASKED DARRELL ROYAL, THE COACH OF THE TEXAS LONGHORNS, WHY HE
> DIDN'T RECRUIT ME ."__  _HE SAID,_"WELL, WALT, WE TOOK A LOOK AT
> YOU, AND YOU WEREN'T ANY GOOD."_  -  WALT GARRISON / OKLAHOMA
> STATE 
>
> _"SON, YOU'VE GOT A GOOD ENGINE, BUT YOUR HANDS AREN'T ON THE
> STEERING WHEEL."__ _-  BOBBY BOWDEN / FLORIDA STATE
>
> _"FOOTBALL IS NOT A CONTACT SPORT, IT IS A COLLISION SPORT.  DANCING
> IS A CONTACT SPORT."__ _-  DUFFY DAUGHERTY / MICHIGAN STATE
>  
>
>  
> _"__IF LESSONS ARE LEARNED IN DEFEAT, OUR TEAM IS GETTING A GREAT
> EDUCATION.”_  -  MURRAY WARMATH / MINNESOTA 
>  
> _"THE ONLY QUALIFICATIONS FOR A LINEMAN ARE TO BE BIG AND DUMB.  TO
> BE A BACK, YOU ONLY HAVE TO BE DUMB."_   -  KNUTE ROCKNE / NOTRE
> DAME
>  
> _"WE LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND SCRATCH WHERE IT ITCHES."_   - 
> DARRELL ROYAL / TEXAS   
>  
> _"WE DIDN'T TACKLE WELL TODAY, BUT WE MADE UP FOR IT BY NOT 
> BLOCKING."_   -  JOHN MCKAY / USC 
>  
> _"I'VE FOUND THAT PRAYERS WORK BEST WHEN YOU HAVE BIG PLAYERS."_  
> -  KNUTE ROCKNE / NOTRE DAME
>  
> OHIO STATE 'S URBAN MEYER ON ONE OF HIS PLAYERS:_"HE DOESN'T KNOW THE
> MEANING OF THE WORD FEAR. IN FACT, I JUST SAW HIS GRADES AND HE
> DOESN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF A LOT OF WORDS.”_
>  
> WHY DO TENNESSEE FANS WEAR ORANGE? SO THEY CAN DRESS THAT WAY FOR
> THE GAME ON SATURDAY, GO HUNTING ON SUNDAY, AND PICK UP TRASH ON
> MONDAY.
>  
> WHAT DOES THE AVERAGE ALABAMA PLAYER GET ON HIS SATS? DROOL.
>  
>
> HOW DID THE AUBURN FOOTBALL PLAYER DIE FROM DRINKING MILK? THE COW
> FELL ON HIM.
>  
> TWO TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL PLAYERS WERE WALKING IN THE WOODS. ONE OF THEM
> SAID,"_LOOK, A DEAD BIRD."_THE OTHER LOOKED UP IN THE SKY AND
> SAID,_"WHERE?"_
>
> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A FLORIDA STATE FOOTBALL PLAYER DRESSED IN A
> THREE-PIECE SUIT? _"WILL THE DEFENDANT PLEASE RISE."_
>  
> IF THREE RUTGERS FOOTBALL PLAYERS ARE IN THE SAME CAR, WHO IS
> DRIVING? THE POLICE OFFICER.
>  
> HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A CLEMSON FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS A
> GIRLFRIEND? THERE'S TOBACCO JUICE ON BOTH SIDES OF THE PICKUP TRUCK.
>  
> WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT 32 ARKANSAS CHEERLEADERS IN ONE ROOM? A
> FULL SET OF TEETH.
>  
> UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN COACH JIM HARBAUGH IS ONLY GOING TO DRESS HALF
> OF HIS PLAYERS FOR THE GAME THIS WEEK; THE OTHER HALF WILL HAVE TO
> DRESS THEMSELVES.
>  
> HOW IS THE KANSAS FOOTBALL TEAM LIKE AN OPOSSUM? THEY PLAY DEAD AT
> HOME AND GET KILLED ON THE ROAD.
>  
> WHY DID THE TENNESSEE LINEBACKER STEAL A POLICE CAR? HE SAW "911" ON
> THE SIDE AND THOUGHT IT WAS A PORSCHE.
>
> HOW DO YOU GET A FORMER NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL PLAYER OFF YOUR FRONT
> PORCH? PAY HIM FOR THE PIZZA...

[frank.dawahare]

Very funny!  Thanks

Best Regards, 

Frank

Sent from my Samsung device

--
This message was sent from the Dawahare family mailing list.  If you have any questions, please contact the list administrator (kevin....@gmail.com).  Thanks!
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Dawahare Family" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to dawahare-fami...@googlegroups.com.
To post to this group, send email to dawahar...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.

[Nellie Wilkinson]

Funny!  Good laugh for the day!