An excellently amusing day can change your life for the better. It did mine.
Please continue to let me know whom to add onto this list. A lot of you are involved in the arts, so if you know of any events that I should be aware of, please tell me about them.
Enjoy. Naomi
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Wednesday August 26th
PERFORMANCE/READING/THEATER: You Don't Know Me: Gigantic/Opium/Bomb Benefit Bash @ Bowery Electric, Manhattan
LECTURE: How to Make Music With Police Cars & Get Away With It @ Flux Factory, Queens
MUSIC: Amsterdam Live w/ The Bravery @ Webster Hall, Manhattan
READING: How I Learned Reading Series @ Happy Ending, Manhattan
THEATER: Brain Drain @ Royal Oak Lounge, Brooklyn
Thursday August 27th
FILM: Edward Scissorhands @ Brooklyn Bridge Park, Brooklyn
PERFORMANCE/PARTY: Lowbrow Society for the Arts presents: Move! @ New Museum, Manhattan
Friday August 28th
ART/FOOD: April Fools: Absurdist Vegetarian **Potluck** BBQ @ ABC No Rio, Manhattan
FILM/MUSIC: Rooftop Films presents St. Nick @ On the roof of the Old American Can Factory, Brooklyn
DANCE: Free Beginner Tango Class @ Triangulo, Manhattan
THEATER: The They @ Enid, Brooklyn
THEATER: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind @ Kraine Theater, Manhattan
Saturday August 29th
PARTY: Michael Jackson's 51st Birthday Party @ Prospect Park, Brooklyn
FILM/MUSIC: Bronx Princess & Nora @ On the lawn of Mullaly Park, Bronx
ART: Le Dur et le Mou (The Hard and the Soft) @ Local Project, Queens
FILM/OPERA: Summer HD Festival: La Fille du Régiment @ Lincoln Center, Manhattan
THEATER: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind @ Kraine Theater, Manhattan
Sunday August 30th
SPORT: White Castle Golden Arm wrestling Championship @ Brighton Jubilee Festival Main Stage, Brooklyn
FILM: Cine Brunch @ Le Poisson Rouge, Manhattan
MUSIC: Charlie Parker Jazz Festival @ Tompkins Square Park, Manhattan
MUSIC: Jelly presents The Pool Parties 2009 @ East River State Park, Brooklyn
FILM/OPERA: Summer HD Festival: Roméo et Juliette @ Lincoln Center, Manhattan
Monday August 31st
FILM/OPERA: Summer HD Festival: Eugene Onegin @ Lincoln Center, Manhattan
Tuesday September 1st
FILM/OPERA: Summer HD Festival: Macbeth @ Lincoln Center, Manhattan
******* Ongoing ******
Every Friday & Saturday, 10:30 pm
Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind @ Kraine Theater, 85 East Fourth Street
$10 plus the roll of a six sided die ($11-$16); Written by the New York Neo-Futurists; Our show is an ever-changing attempt to perform 30 plays in 60 minutes--an original concept by Greg Allen and the Neo-Futurists. The single unifying element of these plays is that they are performed from a perspective of absolute honesty. We always appear as ourselves on stage, speaking directly from our personal experiences. Each short play is written by a performer, honed by the ensemble, and randomly collaged with twenty-nine other plays through high energy audience participation. Each week, these plays shift as ensemble members add new plays to the existing body of work. Each night of performance, we aim to create an unreproducable living newspaper of the comic and tragic, the political and personal, the visceral and experimental.
******* Wednesday August 26th ******
August 26th 6:30pm-Midnight
You
Don't Know Me: Gigantic/Opium/Bomb Benefit Bash @ Bowery Electric,
327 Bowery 
$10/$15; The event will feature multiple short
programs – performances, microreadings and video installations --
to be performed variety style throughout the night as curated by the
joint efforts of the three magazines.
Special sets by bands and
featured DJ's will close the evening and have you dancing the night
away!
Come party with artists, writers, magazine editors,
agents, book publishers, bloggers, and new media types! Featuring:
Short plays directed by Ben Greenman and Bob Powers, The Dog House
Band, featuring bluegrass musician/writers David Gates and Sven
Birkerts and special guest John Wesley Harding! Performances by
Josephy Keckler and James J. Williams III, DJ sets by Catherine
Pierce of the Pierces and AVE BFF, The Library is On Fire
August 26th
7:30 pm 
How to Make Music With Police
Cars & Get Away With It @ Flux Factory, 39-31 29th
St, Queens
The Police Car Quartet was the first of nine public
happenings by acclaimed Mexican artist, Lázaro Valiente, including
the Tamal-Car Orchestra, muchos Mexican barrel organs, visual
concerts at red lights, public radio Interventions, and many others.
Each is a suggestion on how to control traffic in public spaces.
Please join us to hear Lázaro speak, perform, and distribute works
of art. 
August 26th 7:30pm-Midnight
Amsterdam Live w/ The Bravery @ Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th St
Free w/ RSVP to RS...@blocgroup.com; Amstel brings a little bit of Amsterdam to NYC tonight as The Bravery and DJ Clinton Sparks join them for a "unique nightclub experience fusing art, live music, dance and DJ's in true Amsterdam style." 21+ and list closes 24hrs before the event so get on it!
August 26th 8:00pm
How I Learned Reading Series @ Happy Ending, 302 Broome St
Free; The How I Learned Reading Series continues tonight at Happy Ending. This evening they will delve into 'How I Learned to Laugh at Myself' which is said to involve lessons about humility and hilarity. The reading will feature Jon Friedman, Brian Grosz, Suzanne Guillette and Jiji Lee.
August 26th 8:00pm
Brain
Drain @ Royal Oak Lounge, 594 Union Avenue, Brooklyn
$10 all
donations will go towards Figment Theatre's upcoming fall production
of Original One-Act Plays about classic movie monsters;  A night of
zombie mayhem and true nerd trivia. It's Your Brain. Featuring a
Cabin in the Woods by Greg LoProto, a short, intimate production of a
new play concerning human relations in a zombie apocalypse. Also True
Nerd Trivia. Every question requires insider knowledge of Comics,
RPGs, Fantasy Literature, Warhammer, Sci-Fi movies, and so on.
Categories include fantasy geography, fantasy biology, and fantasy
sports. Prizes include drinks, candy, nerd pride, and the resentment
of your peers. Consider it a chance for Faromir, Captain of Gondor,
to show his quality.
******* Thursday August 27th ******
August 27th dusk
Edward Scissorhands @
Brooklyn Bridge Park, 1 Main Street, Brooklyn
Free; DJs from
Brooklyn Radio will provide the pre-film musical entertainment; the
Manhattan skyline will provide the breathtaking backdrop.
http://www.brooklynbridgepark.org
August 27th 9:00pm sharp
Lowbrow Society for the
Arts presents: Move! @ New Museum, 235 Bowery
$free plus
Metrocard; A wearable art gallery and celebration on a subway train.
Keep it moving with the Lowbrow Society for the Arts, as we bring art
from the static white walls down into the New York transit system.
Enter the train to be surrounded by a vast array of photography,
illustration, multimedia work, recycled fashion design, superhero
armor, and more -- all hung from humans as we present our body of
work. Featured artists will include: Pak-Kei Mak, Carey Baldwin,
Lucia Rollow, Gwynn Galitzer, Hannah Herr, Anoush Dehkordi, Laura
Sheedy, Brigitte Noel-Golde, Irina Sarnetskaya, Mr. Rainbo, Tatiana
Hernandez, Sinead McCarthy, Najva Sol, and Lenora Jayne. While
perusing the improvisational gallery, participants can listen to the
sweet sounds of Ruby Ruby Ruse and enjoy complimentary juice and
snacks served by the delightful MTA Service Specialists.
Gallery-goers can also venture to the adjacent subway car for jazzy
live music provided by Natti Vogel and The Nostalgia Specials. Become
a walking work of art with the in-car face-painter, or enjoy the
acrobatic tricks of Ania Love and Brandy Michelle. 
******* Friday August 28th ******
August
28th 7:00-9:00pm
April Fools:
Absurdist Vegetarian **Potluck** BBQ @ ABC No Rio, 156
Rivington
Calling All Pranksters, Jokesters, & Ne'er-Do-Wells!
Join the crew at  ABC No Rio for April Fool's: Absurdist **Potluck
BBQ**. Bring Costumes, Practical Jokes, Foods That Look Like Other
Foods, Whoopie Cushions, Weird Uncles, Best Friends!  Part of ABC No
Rio's "Hanging Out at No Rio" project:
http://hangingout.abcnorio.org
August 28th 8:00pm-Midnight
Rooftop Films presents St.
Nick @ On the roof of the Old American Can Factory, 232 3rd St,
Brooklyn
$9; David Lowery's debut feature is a pre-teen Badlands,
a lush and visceral young American drifter tragedy. Astonishing
imagery, evocative soundscapes, heartbreakingly smart and subtle
performances, and a story that reveals layer after layer of
complexity form a masterpiece of introspection and exploration.
8:00pm: Doors open; 8:30pm: LLive music by Cameron Hull presented by
Sound Fix Records; 9:00pm: Film; 11:00pm–12:30am: Reception in
courtyard including free sangria courtesy of Carlo Rossi sangria
August 28th 8:45-9:45pm
Free Beginner Tango Class @ Triangulo, 135 W. 20th St, #301
Free; Tonight check out a free absolute beginner workshop in Argentine tango. "Featured in Vogue, the National Herald Tribune, and The Economist, TriANGulO specializes in Argentine tango, the original, more intimate predecessor to international ballroom-style tango. Founder Carina Moeller is a professional dancer with training in modern dance and ballet who has worked and studied with such tango greats as Fabian Salas, Pablo Veron, and Mingo Pugliese. Known for her engaging and precise teaching style, Carina creates a stress-free atmosphere that is particularly appealing to novice dancers."
August 28th 9:00pm-Midnight
The They @ Enid, 90 N. 11th St
Please join us for a midnight of NYC photography with Alessandro Zuek Simonetti + dashing skateboard frivolity via Zoo York Asaha & Kcdc.
******* Saturday August 29th ******
August 29th Noon-5:00pm
Michael Jackson's 51st Birthday Party @ Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Free; Anybody and everybody is invited to attend Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday party this afternoon in Prospect Park. The event, organized by Spike Lee, will feature Borough President Marty Markowitz on hand to proclaim the date "Michael Jackson Day." Afterwards, DJ Spinna will be spinning all things Jackson, from the Jackson 5 to the Jacksons to Michael Jackson. “At the end, we’ll all sing Happy Birthday to Michael,” Lee says. “We’re going to make sure he hears us, too. All over the world, people are going to be celebrating his birthday. But he’s going to hear Brooklyn; Brooklyn is going to be in the house. Deep.” All ages.
August 29th 6:00-11:30pm
Bronx Princess & Nora @ On the lawn of Mullaly Park, bordered by Jerome Ave/McClellan St/River Ave/E 164 St, Bronx
Free; Roooftop Films
presents a free screening of two films about strong-willed women
surviving, learning and dancing in their journeys between New York
and Africa. 6:00pm: Live music by Kewulay Kamara, Blitz the
Ambassador, Mamarazzi and others; 9:00pm: Films; 10:30pm: Filmmaker Q
& A
August 29th 6:00-9:00pm
Le Dur et le Mou (The Hard and the Soft) @ Local Project, 45-10 Davis St, LIC, Queens
Free; Featuring Steppin, a performance by Isabella Bruno, Juan Betancurth, Catherine Restrepo, Francisco Pino, Daniella Yovell, Alejandra Villasmil and a performance by Isabella Bruno. www.localproject.org
August 29th 8:00pm
Summer HD Festival: La Fille du Régiment @ Lincoln Center, Broadway & 72nd St
Free; Donizetti’s comic opera La Fille du Régiment stars Natalie Dessay as Marie, Juan Diego Flórez as Tonio, Felicity Palmer as the Marquise of Berkenfield, Alessandro Corbelli as Sulpice, Donald Maxwell as Hortensius, and Marian Seldes in the spoken role of the Duchess of Krakenthorp. Marco Armiliato conducts. Approximate running time: 140 minutes.
******* Sunday August 30th ******
August 30th 12:30pm
White Castle Golden Arm wrestling Championship @ Brighton Jubilee Festival Main Stage, 3250 Coney Island Ave
Free; Today is a very special day in New York as The New York Arm Wrestling Association presents the 27th Annual White Castle Kingsboro Golden Arm Wrestling Championship. Over 100 men and women will compete for the chance to be crowned champion as part of the Brighton Jubilee Festival.
August 30th 12:30pm
Cine Brunch @ Le Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleeker
Free; Cine-Brunch at (Le) Poisson Rouge is a new take on the summer movie season - a free afternoon screening of art-house cinema classics... Cine-Brunch offers an alternative to the summer blockbuster: refined entertainment in a cool, comfortable environment where viewers can enjoy brunch or LPR's regular menu of tapas while taking in classic cinema and sipping a cocktail. And best of all, it's free!" Today's film is Billy Wilder's comedy classic Some Like it Hot. The screening is free but you're brunch ($7) and cocktails ($3 specials, $7 bloodies) are not.
August 30th 3:00pm
Charlie Parker Jazz Festival @ Tompkins Square park, Ave B & East 7th St
Free; The Charlie Parker Jazz Festival annually assembles some of the finest musicians in the world who reflect Parker’s musical individuality and genius, to promote appreciation for this highly influential and world-renowned artist. The two days of free concerts take place in neighborhoods where Charlie Parker lived and worked, in Harlem’s Marcus Garvey Park and the Lower East Side's Tompkins Square Park.
August
30th
6:00pm 
Jelly presents The Pool Parties 2009 @ East River State Park, 90 Kent Ave, Brooklyn
Free; Grizzly Bear and Beach House. www.thepoolparties.com
August 30th 7:30pm
Summer HD Festival: Roméo et Juliette @ Lincoln Center, Broadway & 72nd St
Free; Plácido Domingo conducts Gounod’s Roméo et Juliette, starring Anna Netrebko and Roberto Alagna as the star-crossed lovers, Isabel Leonard as Stéphano, Nathan Gunn as Mercutio, and Robert Lloyd as Frère Laurent. Approximate running time: 175 minutes.
******* Monday August 31st ******
August 31st 7:45pm
Summer HD Festival: Eugene Onegin @ Lincoln Center, Broadway & 72nd St
Free; Valery Gergiev conducts Tchaikovsky’s most beloved opera, Eugene Onegin, with Russian baritone Dmitri Hvorostovsky in the title role opposite Renée Fleming as the heartbroken Tatiana, with tenor Ramón Vargas as Lenski. Approximate running time: 160 minutes.
******* Tuesday September 1st ******
September 1st 8:00pm
Summer HD Festival: Macbeth @ Lincoln Center, Broadway & 72nd St
Free; Met Music Director James Levine conducts Verdi’s Macbeth, featuring Maria Guleghina as Lady Macbeth, Željko Lučić as Macbeth, Dimitri Pittas as Macduff, and John Relyea as Banquo. Approximate running time: 145 minutes.
Calling All Pranksters, Jokesters, & Ne'er-Do-Wells! Join the crew at ABC No Rio for April Fool's: Absurdist **Potluck BBQ**. Bring Costumes, Practical Jokes, Foods That Look Like Other Foods, Whoopie Cushions, Weird Uncles, Best Friends! Part of ABC No Rio's "Hanging Out at No Rio" project: http://hangingout.abcnorio.org/