Query Feedback - YA Historical Fantasy (Japan)

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Nov 26, 2021, 7:37:25 PM11/26/21
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Hello! I am looing for Query Burb feedback. (Also swaps or beta readers, if anyone is interested.)

Dear ____,

I am seeking representation for my YA historical fantasy novel, YŌKAI, of 97K words. I am reading out to you because ______________.

After years of being hunted, Kiyomi is done fighting for people’s acceptance. She is half-yōkai, with the blood of an evil and powerful spirit. All the Warriors’ efforts to kill her have failed: while they wield elements of nature with their body movements, she can control plants with only her mind. She is unstoppable…at least, that’s what she wants to believe.

Then, after years of silence, her father finally stands up for her safety—and he is murdered for it. Kiyomi suspects the samurai Masamori, the leader of the Warriors in this new city. But before she can avenge her father's death, she needs proof. She’ll play along with Masamori’s story about training her to be a Warrior…and then she has to kill him.

But there’s one person who keeps getting in her way: Jacob, a foreigner training with her. Although he says he wants to help her find her father’s killer, Kiyomi knows better. She can’t afford to trust him, or she will be the next one found dead on the tatami mats.

I am a 28-year-old high school English teacher from Los Angeles. I have published short fiction and non-fiction works by the Union Gospel Press. I hope I have written a story that keeps you up all night reading!

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