YA fantasy romance first 3 chapters critique/beta read

[Lily Engel]

Hi everyone!

I’ve begun the query process, and I just wanted to make sure my first 3 chapters were as good as I could make them. I’m specifically looking for someone to help me with prose. I’m most suited to the fantasy genre in YA, NA and Adult.

The blurb (I suppose you could say) of my novel is this:

Ciel Briar’s sole dream is to escape her abusive mother. A dream that gnaws at her insides due to the impossibility. That is, until the Crown Prince of Eireann hosts a birthday celebration held solely for the youthful faeries of the kingdom. The party is dazzling, but not more than the handsome man courting her. Mid-swoon, she discovers he’s the Crown Prince’s assassin, and as the only one who can identify him, she becomes a valuable asset to the kingdom.

Welcomed into the safety of the castle walls, Ciel learns of the royal family’s esteemed bodyguards. The Watchers are the answer to escaping her wicked mother, but Ciel must prove herself worthy before the assassin is found or else return home. The chances are slim for a weak, untrained faerie like her to become part of the elite guards. Desperate, she finds the perfect opportunity when a starry-eyed woman approaches her, telling her of the assassin’s location. If Ciel can find hi before the kingdom does, she will earn Watcher status, but the woman is a witch, and Ciel is ambushed. Forced into a magical bargain with the assassin, she’s now a rebel spy. 

The game she must play is tricky, and as Ciel learns the rules, she discovers her kingdom is more flawed than she imagined. With a rebellion on the rise, she must decide which side she wants to take: her beloved Crown Prince, or the cunning assassin tugging at her heart.

If you’re interested, please let me know. You can email me at lilysoph...@gmail.com

Thank you!