From Part One: Warm-up Is There Any Hope for You? What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? "When adults ask kids, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' they're just looking for clues themselves." Paula Poundstone There are a lot of ways to make a living from comedy. You can perform it, write it, draw it, or manage it. From the list below, check which ones you're interested in or think you know you're good at.Performing Comedy
- Stand-up comic Depending on the quality of your act, you can work at comedy clubs, hotels, concert venues, colleges, or corporate meetings, on cruise ships, at open mikes, or at your aunt Thelma's eightieth birthday party.
- Improviser Sketch TV shows such as Saturday Night Live and Mad TV scout improvisers from improv troupes such as Second City (in Chicago and Toronto) and the Groundlings (in Los Angeles), as well as improv festivals (Austin, Texas, Montreal, Canada). Improvisers are in demand for acting and TV commercials as well as for voice-over work, feature animation, and game shows.
- Commercial actor Funny people who can add sizzle to ad copy are cast in high-paying TV commercials.
- Voice-over performer Comedy timing and technique are required in this field, which needs comics to add funny character voices to cartoons, TV commercials, and feature animation.
- Warm-up for TV shows Most TV shows hire a comic to warm up the live studio audience before and during the taping of TV shows and infomercials.
- Radio comedy Funny song parodies turned unknown "Weird Al" Yankovic into a famous and rich man. Radio stations buy prerecorded song parodies, impersonations, and other comedy bits produced by small production houses that specialize in creating this type of material.
- Radio talk show host As more talk shows fill the AM and FM airwaves, radio producers are turning to comics to keep their listeners laughing and listening.
- Cruise ship entertainer Imagine doing your act for your grandmother that's the kind of act you need to work cruise ships. If you've got four different twenty-minute clean sets and don't mind living with your audience for a few weeks, then this could be for you.
- Corporate humorist If you can make people laugh with clean material, then entertaining at corporate events might be just your thing.
Writing Comedy - Customized stand-up materialSome stand-up comics who perform supplement their income by writing for other comics. And then there are those funny people who have never done stand-up themselves but who write it for others, such as funnyman Bruce Vilanch, who writes for Bette Midler and the Academy Awards show.
- TV sitcomsComics are hired to staff sitcoms or develop sitcoms for stand-up comics who have development deals. Many of the most successful sitcoms are based on stand-up comedy acts. Stand-up comics Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld became billionaires when they turned their stand-up acts into one of the most successful sitcoms ever Seinfeld.
- Punch-upTV and film producers hire comics for the important job of punching up, or adding laughs to, a script.
- Screenwriting and directingComedy directors often start their careers with live performances. Betty Thomas started in an improv troupe and went on to direct features such as The Brady Bunch Movie. Tom Shadyac, director of Patch Adams, Liar, Liar, and The Nutty Professor, actually started out in my stand-up workshop. Two years later, he directed his first feature, Ace Ventura.
- Literary writing"Funny" can also translate into books, magazine articles, and newspaper columns. George Carlin turned his unused stand-up material into the book Brain Droppings. Comedy director/screenwriter Nora Ephron (You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle) wrote short funny magazine pieces that later became a popular book, Mixed Nuts. Dave Barry expresses his "funny" in a nationally syndicated column and in books.
- Development and producingFunny ideas often translate into projects for commercial TV and film. Paul Reubens's character Pee-wee Herman started out as a character in an improv show at the Groundlings. It turned into an HBO special, two feature films, and an award-winning children's TV series.
- Animation writingAll major studios actively look for funny people to write and punch up their TV and feature animation projects. Irene Mecchi began as a comedy writer, writing comedy material for Lily Tomlin. Now she works for Disney animation and was the screenwriter of The Lion King.
- Internet workBecause a good laugh can stop an Internet surfer at a Web site, companies such as Excite, Yahoo!, and AOL hire comics to write catchy copy.
- SpeechwritingMany CEOs and politicians turn to comedy writers to provide sound bites so that they get noticed, win over their audiences, and don't get stuck with their foot in their mouth.
"I know what they say about me that I'm so stiff that racks buy their suits off me." Al Gore, 1998, written by Mark Katz
Marketing Comedy - MerchandisingFunny ideas can turn into funny products, such as Pet Rocks, screen savers, or greeting cards. Skyler Thomas, who started writing jokes in my class, put his jokes on T-shirts. They became major sellers and he now runs a multimillion-dollar T-shirt business called Don't Panic, with stores nationwide.
- Ad copyWho do you think writes those funny bits in ads that get your attention? Comedy writers. "Most relationships don't last as long as the L.A. Marathon." L.A. billboard
- Managing and booking
- Many agents and managers started by putting shows together for themselves and ended up booking others.
Right now, of course, you don't need to make a commitment to any specific comedy field. Actually, no matter which field of comedy you are interested in at the start of this book, be open to the possibility of shifting winds. You might be totally committed to performing stand-up until someone offers you a $50,000-a-year job writing funny ads for toilet cleaners. It could happen. You might start off thinking you want to be a stand-up comic and end up discovering that you have a lot of ideas that can work as sitcoms. Billy Riback started out doing
stand-up at the Improv at $25 a night, and now he produces comedy TV shows making millions. Conan O'Brien and Garry Shandling were both sitcom writers before they became comedy stars. In 1978 David Letterman was a joke writer for Jimmie "Dy-No-Mite" Walker. The Zucker brothers and Jim Abrahams, who created and directed the movies
Airplane!, Naked Gun, and
Ghost, began their careers in a comedy improv troupe in Madison, Wisconsin, called Kentucky Fried Theater. And then there's Gary Coleman, who started off as a comedy actor starring in his own sitcom and ended up as a security guard. Go figure! The various fields of comedy can morph into one another. Sometimes a comic's act becomes the basis for a sitcom
(Roseanne), or a screenplay becomes a sitcom
(M*A*S*H, Suddenly Susan). Even jokes have become merchandise: Rosie O'Donnell's slingshot toy has sold over 2 million units. I became a stand-up comic thanks to United Airlines. I started off as a funny magician working at the Magic Castle in Hollywood I levitated celery, sawed a man in half, and performed a death-defying escape from my grandmother's girdle. United Airlines changed the course of my career when I arrived in Cincinnati and my act arrived in Newark. That night I walked onstage without my tricks, without an act. I was so scared that I just started babbling about what happened, and to my surprise, I got laughs. I then ranted about all the humiliations of my life and the laughs got bigger, and before I knew it, my twenty-minute set ended. It was then that I learned the biggest lesson about comedy: truth is funny and shows up even when your luggage doesn't. I became a stand-up comic, because why schlepp around a bunch of props when people will pay you just for your ideas? Recently I've added to my work schedule by doing funny motivational speaking at Fortune 500 companies. Who knew? The bottom line is, funny people are not limited to one field of comedy, and many of them overlap. For right now, you don't need to know what you want to be when you grow up all you need is your sense of humor. But first, let's make sure you have one.
The Right Stuff Do You Have What It Takes? Some people, no matter how hard they try, just aren't funny. It takes a certain disposition to do comedy. So, how do you know if you have the right stuff?
The Yuk Factor Circle the answers that describe you best.
yes no Do you think that you're funnier than most of the schmucks you see on TV?
yes no Every time you open your mouth, does an inner voice say, "You should be writing this down" even during sex?
yes no Are you jealous of everyone who makes a living from comedy?
yes no Could you think of funny jokes even at a funeral?
yes no Do you ever think that you are the only sane one in your crazy family?
yes no When you get angry, do you get funny?
yes no Would you tell people your most embarrassing moments and inadequacies if you could get a laugh?
yes no Do you notice the quirks of life that other people miss?
yes no Do you study the minute details of life, such as lint?
yes no Do you sometimes imagine a future full of the improbable? Such as,
"What if men got pregnant?"
"What if you were born old and grew young?"
yes no Do you think you look funny when you're naked?
yes no Do you talk back to your television?
yes no Did you grow up in a family where few things were really discussed and communication was at a minimum?
yes no Do you imitate your family behind their back?
yes no Do you have opinions about everything?
yes no Do you get accused of exaggerating?
You Are As Funny As You Think Garry Shandling, famous comic, would answer all twenty questions "Yes." Teri Aranguen, my accountant, answered only four "Yes." If you answered more like Garry and less like Teri, then give up the spreadsheet you have a comic's disposition. You might be working as an accountant but you are thinking like a comic. It's not how you currently make your living that makes you a comic but how you think how you see the world, your attitude about the absurdity surrounding you, and of course, how you can make people laugh. If you imitate your family members behind their backs, you're not being rude; you're doing what we call
act-outs. If you are funny when you get angry, you already know how to deliver with
attitude. If you have opinions about the service in a restaurant, the new TV season, interest rates, don't think of yourself as a know-it-all; you have a
hit on a topic. And if you are insanely jealous of other comics' success, it just might be a healthy expression of your own desires for success. But if you want to watch other comics in clubs, follow them home, and watch them through binoculars, you're not an observational comic you're a stalker. Get help. We funny people are not normal. In my workshops, the normal ones are not the funny ones. We think differently. For instance, having a hard time at work? Normal people think, "What a bad day." Comics think, "A bad day...
and material!"
"I used to work in an office. They're always so mean to the new girl in the office. 'Oh, Caroline, you're new? You have lunch at nine-thirty.' I worked as a receptionist, but I couldn't get the hang of it. I kept answering the phone by saying, 'Hello, can you help me?' It's so humiliating to go on job interviews, especially when they ask, 'What was the reason you left your last job?' 'Well, I found that after I was hired, there was a lot of tension in the office. You know, I found it difficult sitting on the new girl's lap.'" Caroline Rhea Normal people express their sense of humor by memorizing jokes; comics transform their life experiences into punch lines and write their
own jokes. We funny people are a strange sort. We like laughs, even at our own expense. We funny people were the cave people who probably slipped on the banana peel just because we were certain that it would get a laugh. We think a lot about little things, such as lint or hotel soap.
"I like tiny hotel soap. I pretend that it's normal soap and my muscles are huge." Jerry Seinfeld We think slanted out of the box.
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me I'm afraid of widths." Steven Wright Most people hide their defects; we comics show them to the world. Matter of fact, the more people who know about how fat we are, how bald, how insecure, the better we feel as long as we get a laugh.
"I have low self-esteem. When we were in bed together, I would fantasize that I was someone else." Richard Lewis We love to expose stupidity.
"Please, if you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, please put your video camera down and help me." Bobcat Goldthwait We generally grew up in a family where few things were really discussed and communication was at a minimum, but we remember every humiliating thing that happened.
"I don't feel good about myself. I recently broke up with this woman. Why? I felt she wasn't into me. I said, 'I love you. I adore you. I worship you.' And she said, 'Ain't that a kick in the head.'" Richard Lewis We've kept a mental record of our family's weirdness because we knew even at an early age that they were a source of material. "Both my parents got high my entire life. We used to go on family trips together without even leaving home. I don't have childhood memories. I have flashbacks.
I think that's why I hate to travel, because we never went anywhere. Oh wait, we did...rehab. That was fun." Vanessa Hollingshead We usually think that we are the only sane ones in our families, but usually we are sorely mistaken. We are not normal. We are comics. Most people have misconceptions about what comics are like. Comics are not necessarily funny, happy, outgoing, laugh-getting clowns. I have a friend who had the misplaced idea that she would have a really fun dinner party by inviting a bunch of comics. She anticipated a laugh-a-minute kind of night. Wrong! It was a Nietzsche sort of night: her cooking was analyzed, two people felt too depressed to talk, and three others felt too fat to eat. At one point, when the conversation turned to creative ways to commit suicide, the hostess decided that this would be a good time to go to a movie and asked that we lock up when we left.
"If I ever commit suicide I'm going to fling myself off the top of a skyscraper, but before I do I'm going to fill my pockets with candy and gum. That way when the onlookers walk up they can go, 'Oh, Snickers, hey!'" Patton Oswalt Being a comic or a comedy writer is not for normal people. It's a way of looking not only at your life but at your dreams. If you are a comic, you probably even dream funny. It's a discipline to pay attention to ideas that come at all times, even during sex. "Hold it right there, honey, I've got to write this idea down." It's about living in the funny zone twenty-four hours every day watching life, having opinions, recording them, and fleshing them out to a finished piece. That's the discipline.
Starting with Your Ideas We all have funny ideas. We wake up with them; we get them in our sleep, or while drinking coffee or driving our car, and even in times of grief. Ellen DeGeneres is an example of someone who managed to turn tragedy into comedy. A close friend of hers had died, and while alone and grieving in her fleabag apartment, she was inspired to write a routine that would one day make her a star "A Phone Call to God." "I don't understand why we have fleas here because fleas do nothing at all beneficial. But I thought at times like this when we can't figure it out for ourselves...wouldn't it be great if we could pick up the phone and call up God and ask him these things. Just pick up the phone and call up God 'Yeah, hi God, it's Ellen...Listen, God, there's certain things on this earth. I just don't understand why they're here. No, not Fabio. No. But there are certain things, I mean, Jesus Christ. No, I didn't mean that. That was great. We're still talking about that. No, I was thinking more about insects. No, bees are great. The honey. That was clever. You're welcome. I was thinking more about fleas...they seem to have no beneficial...
[waiting] No, I didn't realize how many people were employed by the flea collar industry...not to mention sprays. Well, I guess you're right. Of course you are...'"
[edited] Whenever I tell someone that I'm a comic, they bend my ear about
their idea for a sitcom, a screenplay, or a joke. "You know, a lot of people tell me that I'm funny!" the person will say. "OK, and please install my cable, Mr. Funnyman." So, what is the difference between someone making a living from their ideas and someone who sees their ideas on TV and says, "Hey, I thought of that?" It starts with paying attention and writing your ideas down. Many funny people aren't even aware that the ideas flying through their minds have the potential to become successful creative ventures. Some people are so overwhelmed with the day-to-day struggles of life that they don't even pay any attention to that quiet insightful voice, the one that says, "This is really funny, I should write it down," and the voice that says, "This would be a great television episode." You might say to yourself that these ideas are nothing. But look what Jerry Seinfeld did with "nothing." There are a thousand little observations about the details of life that fly past us every day. Don't let them go to waste.
Pro Talk with Carol Leifer, stand-up and writer/producer on Seinfeld "I get my ideas from life. I was out at dinner and ordered a bottle of wine and the waiter gave me the cork to smell, and I felt stupid sitting there sniffing it. 'Yeah, that's a cork.' And then the waiter laughed, so I wrote it down and put it in my act 'You feel like such an idiot, the guy hands you the cork and it's like, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do..." Like, "uh, yeah, yep, that's cork."'"
Buy Comedy Supplies - pen
- small notebook (one that fits in a pocket)
- large binder
- 100 index cards
- small tape recorder (digital is the best to save your ideas as individual sound bites)
Exercise: Keeping an Idea Book You've probably been thinking up ideas for many, many years. Well, now it's time to write them down. Get yourself a notebook that you keep by your bed and another, smaller one that can fit in your pocket. Carry this, a working pen, and a small tape recorder with you all day. You don't want to lose the next major sitcom hit that will boost the profits of NBC because that day you didn't have a pen that worked. Write down all ideas within a few minutes of thinking about them. Divide the big book into sections for example, jokes, sitcom, film, and career ideas. Each morning before you get out of bed, befor
