Best Dating App In Japan

[Hennie Jaffe]

Thefirst topic we agreed to write about is dating. Specifically, dating Japanese people in Japan. Kayo wrote her piece from the perspective of an outgoing, independent, and overall badass Japanese lady. Be sure to check it out here.

Then there is language. Japanese language is extremely high context, and the level of mastery you need for a healthy, fulfilling relationship goes far beyond what you need with friends or for business.

Naturally, people who feel exhausted with their lives in Japan figure the grass must be greener at the chalet. Usually you can tell when during the first few dates, your romantic interest asks you how long before you plan to go home, and how wonderful it must be to live abroad.

The most famous is the go-kon (合コン), which is basically a group first date. Many Japanese people are nervous of just meeting one-on-one, so instead they meet two-on-two, or three-on-three. A group of single ladies will meet with a group of single men, and couples will be formed.

I was also surprised by how many couples are formed within companies. Japanese employment is usually for life, so the company can be a second family. When you spend most of your time with colleagues, romance will naturally ensue.

Sadly, sometimes declarations fail. If she friendzones you, tough luck. On the bright side, you get to use one of my favorite Japanese phrases, furareta (振られた, meaning to get rejected)! Might as well turn it into a learning experience.

Also, as you say in your blog post: Speaking the local language really opens up lots of more possibilities. In China most people either speak very poor English, or (for the vast majority) do not speak any English at all.

The truth is (this is my gut feeling, you may challenge me on that ? ) about 95% of the woman will never consider dating a foreigner, about 5% would date both and then there is this tiny tiny fraction of women (actually significantly less than 1%) that will

exclusively target foreigners. They have the same weird motives of mixed blood child and this BS and some want to leave China ( a lot of Chinese people are not very happy with their lives).

Additionally, due to this stupid one child policy and the fact that still to this date women are considered as the inferior gender, men significantly outnumber the women. So there is a shortage of women especially in rural

areas. However, while men tend to stay at home the women tend to move into the big cities. Therefore in cities like Shanghai and Shenzhen women outnumber men a little bit.

Due to these circumstances foreigners (applies only to males) are considered to be stealing Chinese women while women that date a foreigner are considered inferior and therefore dating a foreigner gets a pretty bad touch.

1. Some girls will want to fuck/date/bfgf because you are white. These tend to be 1-3s/10 with the occasional cute party girl, but these girls are low not just because of looks but they will have the worst personalities. Girls that like you for being white, black, American- these girls are the bottom of the barrel, girls that japanese guys tend to not like (its no wonder they suddenly quit and turn to foreigners).

I can 100% confirm this experience. In Tokyo it is easy to get with women, but remember there are over 40 million people living in that area. In reality there are not that many women interested in dating a foreigner, especially high quality women.

If the guy is so ashamed to tell his family that he is dating a gaijin, drop him. His small penis will not give you any pleasure anyway. It is not like they are filthy rich like some of the Chinese people are, so their small wiener size cannot be made up with earning money since most Japanese men do not necessarily earn per hour what people do in the west. Are you aware that most Japanese men have experiences paying for sex? Unless you are comfortable dating men who have been with prostitutes, which is a deal breaker for most people, I would not touch these perverted men. You will see that most Japanese women know how much of a pig Japanese men are being misogynistic and all prefer to date white men.

For a Japanese boy to introduce his girl friend to his mother is an indication to his parents that he is going to marry with her. It has nothing to do with gaijin/Japanese thing, and purely a cultural difference.

wow! a very interesting read. sometimes i think it would be nice to have a japanese boyfriend, but then i think i only think so because i like toma. haha. probably would not work out if i actually tried finding one. xD

As a gay man that has been seeing a Japanese guy for a couple of months, it would have been nice to know whether the situations I find myself to be in are more likely to be down to cultural differences or whether it is more likely a difference in personalities.

Hi, thank you for all that interesting information! I am also a German married to a Japanese guy, living in Japan. The thing with a lack of showing physical contact in public is new to me, my husband kisses me in public and if I do not watch out he will start grabbing my butt when I stand in front of him on the crowded escalator (he ruins my good reputation, hahaha :-) ) It might be because we had lived together in Germany for 2 years before we moved to Japan, so he has adopted German manners.

Also I have a very good friendship with his mom, but I was told people from Osaka are more open-minded than other Japanese, no idea if that is true.

However the communication problem is familiar to me as well, we mostly use German but sometimes he misunderstands what I say. Not because of lack of vocabulary or grammar, but some German ways of saying something seem to be impolite to him, while they are very normal for a German native speaker. So I try to do my best to quickly identify a misunderstanding and explain to him.

Dating a Host ?2007/7/31 07:29 I know the question has popped up from time to time in other people's post, but I'm curious as a 1/2 British 1/2 Japanese female (practically raised in Las Vegas) who may come off as very naive as I go on...would it really be common for a Host to want a girlfriend when he is surrounded by so many women all night or could it possibly be that he just wants to recruit me as a client?

There is a guy who my friend knows well personally and goes at with on many occasions as friends and she let me talk to him by way of e-mail. He has never seen me but my friend gives him this whole bs that I'm so beautiful, something like a Leah Dizon (Ha!), I look like dogshit compared to her, I'm like 53 kg, tan skin (my dads Black from London), Japanesey/Asian face (like Kimura Kaela or Tasha)...so I'm nothing extraordinary....

I just want everyone's opinion, he seems cool and I guess I like him (but internet dating is so weird but trendy amongst teens and mid-20s. I'm 23 btw. And it's also been such a short time, don't ask just believe me when I say SHORT) but is his persistency something to admire and take lightly or should I just say no to all the things he ask: I really want to see your picture, I wanted to see your picture, Can I please see your picture, do you have a boyfriend, when are you coming to Japan?

Or am I overreacting and should wait for some actual substance? ha...

Oh, has any female dated a host? (Not guys dating hostess, my friend is a hostess so I already know!)

Glad for your input.by Eri

same problem2007/8/2 16:30 Actually i kind of know one guy online too...He works in some bars in Tokyo. Whenever i tried asking for more info relating to his job, he seems kinda reluctant to reveal more. Thus I didnt question further. But Im suspecting that he maybe working as a host...for his age he seems to earn quite alot. He always goes home late..N he told me he do everything in the bar. Im kind of lost too. I keep imagining that hes some kind of gigolo / what...& this is bad......by Xinderellarate this post as useful

I did...2007/8/2 18:19 I dated a host for a while, and while a lot of my friends were jealous he was so good looking, it was really hard. He was always tired from work, our schedules were hard to match up, and he had to take client calls and e-mail even when he was out with me. The job itself is really brutal with regards to how much alcohol they end up drinking- some of them even become bulimic to deal with the binge drinking- so I worried a lot too.

He was a really sweet guy and I liked him a lot, but I couldn't deal with it.

However, a lot of the host guys are really fun- they wouldn't make much money if they weren't fun to be around! Great to party with, not so great to be in love with.by Krate this post as useful

About hosts2007/8/2 20:13 I recommend watching the documentary ''Great Happiness Space.'' It's about the host industry, and it's really well made and interesting. You can watch it for free on Google Video.by .rate this post as useful

Host2007/8/3 12:11 By the way, how is 'host' pronounce in japan? So they use the same english word? I was talking to my japanese friend about 'hosts' and he doesnt seem to understand this word well... Is there another name for this?by Xinderellarate this post as useful

Host2007/8/3 12:37 Xinderella,

how is 'host' pronounce in japan? So they use the same english word?

It's "hosuto" in Japanese, with the vowel sound rhyming more closely with the English word "cost" than "host".by Dave in Saitamarate this post as useful

Are you new to Japan and looking to meet new people? Are you open to dating? Or are you too shy to get yourself out there in the dating scene? Our comprehensive guide will walk you through the ins and outs of dating in Japan as a foreigner.

One thing to keep in mind is that dating is different for everyone, what could work for someone else might not necessarily work for you. So think of this article as a rough guide to help you triumph in the world of dating as a foreigner in Japan.

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