(movie review) cannibal women in the avocado jungle of death
mister c
second thing you're likely to notice is Bunny, played by the
irrepressible Karen Mistal. The third thing you'll probably notice
about this little number is the awesome title.
You're probably thinking now that this film's a waste of your wallet.
It's just another wacky-titled piece of trash which promises little
more than some bared boobie action. Well, you're going to have to be
disappointed, because not only does this film promise some bared
boobie action, it actually delivers some of the most belly-chuckling
laughs this side of Spaceballs.
Opening with a gratuitous topless-jungle-bimbo scene, Cannibal Women
keeps going like an energizer bunny, delivering firecracker after
firecracker of feminist jokes and sexist one-liners guaranteed to rip
your panties from your buttocks and plaster them to your face for one
of those real heavy-breathing times of underpant sniffing.
I mean, to start with, there's chicks in jungle costumes similar to
those in Slavegirls from Beyond Infinity. Then there's Bunny in her
assortment of pink swimsuits. Then there's Shannon Tweed, but she's
not as exciting until she gets into a set of skins herself. Tacked
onto this are the wisecracks of all major characters, a lost tribe of
knitting men, an Indiana Jones with an Al Bundy mind, and a major
conspiracy to subvert the radical feminist ideals of these amazonian
babes with a lifetime subscription to Cosmo.
There's hilarity throughout the film. My first favourite scene was the
ordering of supplies from the Teacher's Supplies centre. After that,
most of my favourite scenes tended to involve Bunny...
The whole film's a chortle at redical feminism, and a poke at male
ego, too. But, in the end, it proves the age-old saying that all a
good woman wants is a good hard, uh, funding thing from someone int he
military. Um. Yes.
Apart from the one-liners which flow like something wet down Bunny's
chest, the melodramatic dialogue writhing on a bed like Bunny on her
sacrificial altar, there's also a whole cauldron full of sight gags,
like the Hippo which is "just as dangerous" as its Africa cousins. Or
the endless rowing down the same part of the "river."
I swear to you, this movie's an a-grade piece of something rather like
myself sliding down Bunny's swimsuit on a hot afternoon with a sliver
of ice between my teeth.
Wait until you see the lost tribe of "men", the Donahues as they find
Beer! And then the Keys to the Chevy!
Feminism's a wonderful thing. Equality's just dandy, when you're not
trying to pretend it exists. But, when all's said and done, I think I
liked Bunny's feminist activities throughout the film, and never in my
life have I wanted to know the theme tune to Bolero as much as
tonight.
The sword fencing between two feminists will absolutely maim you where
you sit. And the bouncing might hurt your brain after a while.
But, you'll learn a number of important things regarding life and all
its meanings:
a) Jungle women look cute in skins.
b) Bunny looks cute in skins.
c) Shannon Tweed looks cute in skins.
d) Bunny looks cute.
Well, I think you'll agree that this movie has plenty of philosophical
challenges for you to decipher and decode. So, get a hold of this one
and treasure it. If there's no other DvD you buy this year, then this
is the one to get. I promise, it's b-grade frolicing through total
hilarity, with a little bit of jungle girls in skins to appease your
appetite for some pretty little nymphettes running about the screen.
mister c
"They didn't play fair!"
"And I bought along some great lingerie we can share!"
"And for special girls like you, we're having a wet t-shirt contest!"
"But all my shirts are dry!"
"I guess sharing a sleeping bag is out, then?"
"I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked."
"Margo, are you getting your period?"
"Bunny! Don't worry! You'll save me!"
"David Letterman! God, the Horror! The Horror of that show!"
- a ton of hilarious quotes from the flick