(retail rants) customers

[mister c]

I have one basic rule when dealing with customers, and at all times it
is in the back of my mind. It is, quite simply, Customers Suck.

Once you grasp this simple concept, everything slots together just
nicely and everything they do makes perfect sense and can be easily
explained within the parameters as allowed by this Lucasism.

There are never any exceptions to this rule, and I firmly believe that
if at any time you begin to doubt this rule, you are falling into the
trap of fraternizing with the enemy which could lead to the
unfortunate and often debilitating idea that the customer is always
right – a rule which goes against both the single basic law of retail
(Customers Suck) and pretty much all the laws of nature. At the very
least, you might begin believing that some of your customers are nice
people. This is complete nonsense, as the only nice customer is one
who didn’t enter your shop in the first place.