Deer hunting

[Cooter Inc !]

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway
through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God... I could be
eating a slow learner."
- Lynda Montgomery

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man takes his wife out deer hunting for the first time. It's
early in the morning and the husband is explaining the rules to
his wife,

"Now, remember these woods have a lot of unscrupulous people in
them, so if you shoot a deer, run right over to it and guard it
with your life. If you don't, someone else will."

The wife nods okay.

"And, if you get in trouble, shoot your gun in the air three
times. I'll be over as soon as I can." And again the wife nods
okay.

"Now, this is what we're going to do. See that ridge to your
right. You're going to sit on top of that one, and I will sit on
this one to the left." They both agree and go to their blinds.

About thirty minutes after sunrise, the husband hears a gunshot
come from the ridge his wife is sitting on. He thinks to himself,
"Cool, her first time out deer hunting and she gets one!"

Five more minutes pass, and he hears three gunshots come from the
other ridge. He thinks, "Oh, great. Now she's in trouble." Being
the good husband he is, he runs over to the other ridge. As he
reaches the top, he steps into a clearing where his wife is
holding off another man with her gun. The husband gingerly walks
up to them and says,

"Alright, what's going on here!?!"

Promptly the other man looks at the husband and says,

"Look, I don't want any trouble from you. Just let me get the
saddle off first."
_______________________________________________________________

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a
construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian
man, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling."

To the Chinese man, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect
you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes
away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is
untouched.

He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you
tella me dat de Chinese'a man supposa bringa da supplies, but he
disappear and I no finda him."

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't
shovel.

The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, that ye did, but
I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in
charge of supplies, but I couldn't fin' him."

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the
Chinese guy. He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by
the minute.

Just then, the Chinese man springs out from behind the pile of
sand and yells...

"Supplies..!!"