softwarism......

[pradeep pradeep]

Gandhism:

 

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

 

*******

 

Indiraism:

 

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

 

*******

 

Lalooism:

 

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

 

*******

 

Rajnikantism:

 

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

 

*******

 

Rajivism:

 

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

 

*******

 

Softwarism:( Ultimate. ...):

 

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them

 

1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

 

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

 

3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

 

4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)

 

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

 

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

 

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)

 

8 . Redo step 4

 

9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

 

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

 

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

 

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

 

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

 

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

 

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

 

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)

 

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

 

18. Client is happy???

 

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!