Four Letter Language

[Maya Malbon]

The designation "four-letter" arises from the observation that many (though not all) popular or slang terms related to excretory functions, sexual activity, genitalia, blasphemies, and terms linked to Hell or damnation are incidentally four-character monosyllables. Notably, the term "four-letter word" does not strictly refer to words containing exactly four letters.[1][2][3]

Occasionally, the phrase "four-letter word" is humorously used to describe common words composed of four letters. Examples include the word work, implying that work can be unpleasant, or the game of golf, jokingly referred to as a four-letter word when a player's pastime becomes an exercise in frustration. In 1993, Charlotte Observer journalist Doug Robarchek noted how many U.S. politicians have names with four letters, humorously observing, "Ever notice how many U.S. politicians have names that are also four-letter words? Ford, Dole, Duke, Bush, Gore ... and how many make us think of four-letter words?"[5]

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Growing up in the Bronx, I certainly learned a lot of life lessons (not to mention four-letter words), but it would take me years to realize that the best career lesson I learned came from growing up in the Bronx.

Usually the word fuck is intended or implied but there are many others, as listed by Wikipedia in your link. Again, from your Wikipedia link we learn that other languages have a similar term, sometimes referring to three or five letters depending on the language and its key swear words.

To say something is not a four-letter word is often used humorously or to provoke thought, since the author is suggesting that the something should not be considered especially bad. Often the something isn't commonly thought to be bad at all, hence the mild humour.

ABC and its affiliates took the case to the Second Circuit, with that court concluding last January that the ban on fleeting nudity was no different for constitutional purposes from the ban on fleeting four-letter words. The FCC, the Circuit Court remarked, used the same context-based approach that the Fox TV ruling had found to be too vague under the First Amendment. That ruling, it said, was binding on all panels in the Second Circuit, and it thus wiped out the fines along with the policy. In that case as in Fox TV, the Second Circuit nullified the policy in its entirety, not just as it had been applied in the specific enforcement actions at issue.

While it conceded that the Second Circuit had closed its opinion in the Fox TV case by saying that it was not preventing FCC from adopting a policy that could be constitutional, the Commission petition said that the Circuit Court had not spelled out any alternative approaches that would satisfy its vagueness standard.

I recently began to use a certain four-letter word in my classroom. The kind of word that most teachers wouldn't dare say, not unless they wanted to raise eyebrows among colleagues, supervisors and parents. But I use it freely. And loudly. Now my students say it, too -- when they struggle with a worksheet, strike out on the ball field, fumble with the final strokes of an art project. Some of them have even taught the four-letter word to younger siblings at home.

Haven't heard of grit? You're hardly alone. In an educational culture consumed by grading, ranking and incentivizing (think No Child Left Behind and Race to the Top), the learning landscape has become overgrown with performance standards that leave little room for anything but high-stakes testing. Don't get me wrong -- I'm no apologist for accountability. I don't dislike grades. In fact, I'd love for our community classrooms to run just a bit more like corporate boardrooms. If you can't measure something, you can't change it. As my fellow Dallasite Mark Cuban once quipped, "Sunlight is the best disinfectant."

But along with the new standards and value-added evaluations, educators shouldn't drop their focus on the "other" common core -- the habits and mindsets that, when effectively nurtured and carefully monitored, form the basis of a richer learning experience. Today's classrooms are notorious for handing students the basic skills to live in the world while denying them the strength of character to transform it. We teach kids to memorize, drill, spit back and move on. But what happens when they can't move on, when the answers are elusive? Can we prepare students to deal with the inescapable disappointment, frustration and hair-pulling that is a part of learning and life itself? William Butler Yeats said that education isn't about filling a bucket, but lighting a fire. And it is this "total education," complete with lessons on humility, hard work and resilience, that ultimately writes the script for a child's long-term success. It's not about grades. It's about grit.

Dweck demonstrates the power of "process-driven" language on student behavior. By shifting the focus of our feedback to effort as opposed to outcome, we leave students with the feeling that their best is yet to come. Instead of praising Johnny's top mark, applaud his diligent study habits. Or the way Sarah worked through a particularly difficult passage in the text. This kind of process-driven feedback works for setbacks, too. Consider the sweet potential behind that tiny disclaimer "yet." There's something stunningly honest and uplifting about telling a child that a goal hasn't been mastered . . . yet. Keep at it. You're almost there -- not yet -- but soon.

Every Friday, my students cap a week of learning with self-rating journal entries like "Something New I Learned" or "This Week's Memorable Moment." To test their grit, I've added a new prompt: "Something I Struggled With." In this small space, there is both a mirror and a window. Students look into the mirror and admit a shortcoming. Teachers look through a window and perceive an opportunity. I'm still amazed by how honestly students answer this prompt. Their responses are raw, unfiltered -- and revealing. A cheeky student once showed me his journal. The entry for "struggle" was left blank. "I didn't struggle with anything this week!" he crowed. I handed the journal back, along with a deeper prompt: "Maybe you struggle with the fact that you think you don't struggle!"

Finally, create a forum for class-wide discussion about grit at community meetings. These are scheduled, relaxed opportunities for students to sound off on issues affecting their class and their world. Frame the gathering with a news item (for older students) or a telling cartoon (for younger students) geared toward grit, and give them time to process it before they convene. At the meeting, encourage a conversation about why grit mattered -- and why it should matter to them.

The first time you hear a six-year-old or ten-year-old let loose with a whole string of unacceptable words, it can be quite a shock! While inappropriate language is more evident with school-age children, even pre-schoolers repeat objectionable words they may hear.

When children swear, parents often feel distressed or angry. Parents who never or rarely swear themselves blame television, their child's friends and other adults for influencing their child's language. Even parents who often use profane language wish that children would not follow their example.

Let children know that swearing is not acceptable, that you don't like it and will not permit it. If kids understand that bad language is not allowed, they will be less likely to use it. In setting rules, it is important to discuss why the rule is needed.

When a child begins to use bad language, it is important to determine why. Children use inappropriate language for many different reasons. Sometimes the language is used out of ignorance. At other times, children use inappropriate language to meet a need. You will be more likely to deal effectively with problem language when you understand the cause of the behavior. Here are some reasons why young people may use inappropriate language and some suggestions for dealing with each situation.

The above examples show how important it is to teach children alternatives to using inappropriate language. However, this teaching takes time. And some children will need the added incentive of consequences to help them inhibit the use of the forbidden words. It is important to choose consequences carefully and to use them sparingly. The consequence should be reasonable and carefully tied to the behavior.

If a child uses bad language around other children, the child may need to play alone for fifteen minutes. If a child continually swears while completing a project, she may need to put the project away until the next day. When children swear to shock or upset parents, parents can send them out of the room until they can use acceptable language -- or leave the room themselves. Children who continually use words to shock the teachers may need to tell their parents what words they said.

Try having the children set their own consequences. You will probably have to tone them down a bit -- it's not reasonable to stay out of an activity for a week! However, young people are more likely to accept consequences they have established for themselves.

"Four-letter words" are common during the school years and sometimes during the pre-school years. By understanding why they are used and by using appropriate guidance and discipline techniques, you can help to eliminate their use.

Working with so many divorce cases over the years, I frequently hear about the concept of fairness. Complaints such as: "I can't believe that he's happy with that woman after ruining our family. It's not fair!" Or "I sweated bullets for every penny that we have. The courts don't care. They just gave her custody, separating me from my hard earned money. Talk about unfair!"

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