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"Biological reproduction is not a very efficient way to alleviate one's loneliness, but you can make up people when you're motivated to do so," said Nicholas Epley, Assistant Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago's Graduate School of Business. "When people lack a sense of connection with other people, they are more likely to see their pets, gadgets or gods as human-like."
The behaviors they describe in the paper* are not limited to the lonely. Nevertheless, they are well-known to casual observers, from the stereotype of the woman who lives alone surrounded by her menagerie of cats, to the movie portrayal of a tropical island castaway.
"In the movie Castaway, Tom Hanks was isolated on an island and found the social desolation to be one of the most daunting challenges with which he had to deal," said Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago.
"He did so, in part, by anthropomorphizing a volleyball, Wilson, who became his friend and confidant while he was on the island." Although fictional, "Castaway depicts a deep truth about the irrepressibly social nature of Homo sapiens," Cacioppo said.
The researchers designed three experiments to test their expectations that lonely people are more likely to make up for their lack of social connection by creating humanlike connections with gadgets or pets, or to increase their belief in the supernatural.
In another experiment, the team made people feel lonely in the laboratory by asking them to write about a time when they felt lonely or isolated. Under those circumstances, they were more likely to believe in the supernatural, whether it be God, angels or miracles, than when they were not feeling lonely.
"If we made them feel lonely, they were also more likely to describe a pet, even if it wasn't their own pet, as having humanlike mental states that were related to social connection, like being more thoughtful, considerate and compassionate," Epley said.
The research further revealed that not just any negative emotional state produces this effect. "It's something special about loneliness," Epley said. Fear, for example, doesn't increase reported belief in God, or how people describe their pets.
But anthropomorphizing pets or God may actually confer many of the same psychological and physical benefits that come from connections with other people. The same benefits may not apply to gadgets, which were a component of Epley's studies.
"Non-human connections can be very powerful," Epley said. "A brain's not so sensitive to whether it's a person or not. If it's something that has a lot of traits associated with what it means to be a human, then all the better for us, it seems."
The study also provides insight into the flip side of anthropomorphism: dehumanization. People who enjoy a strong sense of social connection are less likely to perceive humanlike mental states in people who seem different from them. Classic examples occur during times of war, during which a strong sense of nationalism or group identity tend to emerge.
*Researchers will publish their findings on anthropomorphism in the February issue of the journal Psychological Science. Also contributing to the research were Scott Akalis of Harvard University and the University of Chicago's Adam Waytz and John Cacioppo.
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I met with a grieving mother whose child died more than two decades ago. She has been "pushing down" her grief "with all (her) might" and is now "too tired and exhausted to keep trying." I also met with a young adult man whose brother died only months ago. He, too, thus far, has been working hard to "think positive thoughts" and "not think about his death" because "it hurts too much."
Indeed, it hurts more than words can describe. The death of someone we love so dearly is an inexplicable wounding that reaches deep into the marrow of our identity and dismantles everything we believed about the justness of the world.
Yet, when we try to maneuver around our trauma and grief, when we try to out clever our righteous emotions, the pain that belongs to us even when we don't want it can become a destructive chameleon asking to be seen.
In the case of both this grieving mother and the older brother, substances have been their only way to numb and sedate the intensity of their emotions. In an attempt to evade their pain, they added to their pain, making war in their bodies and adding to the grief and trauma, now, addiction.
This is the danger of the happiness-cult; that is, our propensity to withhold fully inhabiting painful emotions that belong to us. We can cause serious harm to ourselves. Relationships can suffer even more so than with grief in its pure form. Families may suffer. Some wars are even incited because of suppressed trauma and grief through generations.
We can hide from our trauma and grief as if they don't exist. But we cannot hide from the consequences of hiding our trauma and grief. The consequences of hiding will make themselves seen quite clearly.
Both people are now committed to doing the work necessary to grieve honestly. This is not fearless work. It is the work of the warrior. We need a safe place to do this work, safe people around us, and loving, patient, nonjudgmental support.
This project has a personal connection for us and I'm really excited to share it. Glenn and Pam have been our friends for years now, and we can't wait to get to help them with their build! We first met Glenn & Pam through Instagram, back in 2017 when we were...
On a lonely plateau in the wide-open spaces of the Intermountain West, the Western Quonset Lodge is taking shape. This has been an extremely challenging project on many different levels, and it's a real tribute to my client's vision and fortitude that he has hung in...
Back in 2017, as we embarked upon our first Quonset hut builds at the Quompound, I started sharing our progress on social media. I quickly realized there was actually an audience for DIY-Quonset-themed content. With the encouragement of friends & colleagues, I...
We said a very sad goodbye to our little buddy Oliver on the first of the month. My husband, Eric, had adopted him and brought him home from the city pound on April 11, 2015. He had been brought in as a stray and his age was unknown; he was thought to be 6-7 years...
And just like that, 2021 is in the rear view mirror. Did it fly by, or drag on agonizingly? Am I the only one who feels like it's hard to say? An important lesson I've learned recently is the importance of celebrating your wins - even the small ones. Some would say...
When I am not with my always-receptive and long-suffering girlfriend, I spend hours and hours on my own. I have lunch alone, I coffee solo, read a book, do a crossword; a walking Edward Hopper painting with a plaintive, whistling soundtrack. Where are the real friendships in my life, I wonder as I walk? Where are loyal and empathetic crime partners, the through-thick-and-thin soulmates that everyone else seems to have? The solid, stalwart, good-guy buddies that would help me navigate the heartache of divorce, money worries, myriad vocational traumas and the untimely death of a parent?
This lonely cycle only worsened as I grew older. Now, in later life, divorced but happy and in a relationship, with grown-up children, an interesting career and a nice place to live, my friendship circle has constricted even further.
I routinely find this expression in newspaper, magazines, blogs... My guess is that it's used to report a widely shared opinion, but I couldn't find any confirmation of this. Or maybe it's just used to emphasize the adjective? I'm afraid I might be missing a subtelty here.
The expression "oh-so-" is an intensifier, a linguistic term for a modifier that "serves to enhance and give additional emotional context to the word it modifies". So is itself an intensifier, but it can normally only be used predicatively - "that joke was so clever" but not "the so clever joke". However, the idiomatic addition of oh enables so to be used attributively (though why, I'm not sure!): "the oh so clever joke." [Note that some style guides require an adjectival phrase before a noun to be hyphenated if the first element isn't an adverb ending in -ly; hence oh-so-clever jab but "that jab was oh so clever".]
A number of answers have suggested that the addition "oh-so-" is often used in a sarcastic context. This is not the case - at least, it's no more true than the use of "very" or any other intensifier. Cambridge Dictionary defines sarcasm as
the use of remarks that clearly mean the opposite of what they say, made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticize something in a humorous way:
"You have been working hard," he said with heavy sarcasm, as he looked at the empty page.
What I will do, however, is draw your attention to noted funnyman Paul Ryan, the Wisconsin congressman who is also the House Budget Committee chairman. Ryan has gained a bit of fame recently during the federal government's budget battle, and on Monday he couldn't resist a shot at Bears quarterback Jay Cutler during a speech to the Economic Club of Chicago.
"I want to thank you all for inviting me to speak. It was especially gracious of you to host me, even though I'm a Packers fan and I assume most of you are Bears fans. But that doesn't mean we can't work together. As chairman of the House Budget Committee, I stand ready to do whatever it takes to help you re-sign Jay Cutler.
Ryan himself was using verbal irony - defined by Abrams and Hartman as "a statement in which the meaning that a speaker employs is sharply different from the meaning that is ostensibly expressed" - and his comment about four quarters of strong performance was particularly clever, since this was ostensibly about a financial year divided into four quarters, but a savvy audience would see the allusion to four quarters of a football game.
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