Moofing Dogcows!
Brian Kendig
First of all, what exactly is a cowdog, and why do they say "Moof!"?
Secondly:
In the Macintosh Technical Notes Stack, there is a secret way you can access
the hidden Technical Note #31: The Dogcow. It is *very* difficult to get to,
and it is a real test of your skills as a HyperCard programmer to see it.
I almost saw it. I got to the point where it should have brought up the
TN, but due to what looks like a bug in the stack, it didn't. Can someone from
Apple please clarify that this indeed should work?
(BTW, I got to see the TN anyway, using another trick.)
<< Brian >>
--
| Brian S. Kendig | I feel more like I | bskendig |
| Computer Engineering | did when I got here | @phoenix.Princeton.EDU |
| Princeton University | than I do now. | @PUCC.BITNET |
| Systems Engineering, NASA Space Station Freedom / General Electric WP3 |
Mark B. Johnson
>Could someone please answer a few important technical questions for me:
>
>First of all, what exactly is a cowdog, and why do they say "Moof!"?
>
them to say Moof (TM), but for brevity, we'll just say Moof!)
>Secondly:
>In the Macintosh Technical Notes Stack, there is a secret way you can access
>the hidden Technical Note #31: The Dogcow. It is *very* difficult to get to,
>and it is a real test of your skills as a HyperCard programmer to see it.
>
>I almost saw it. I got to the point where it should have brought up the
>TN, but due to what looks like a bug in the stack, it didn't. Can someone from
>Apple please clarify that this indeed should work?
>
The complete story behind the dogcow is in Technical Note #31, which no longer
exists unless you have one of the original copies...or unless you can read
it in the Technical Notes Stack V3.1. To read it, it is NOT that difficult,
but it requires the proper attitude and execution of a particular set of
actions. Any mistake in this execution (or a sterile attitude) will result
the Clarus (the name of the dogcow) refusing to appear at that time.
You need no skill as a HyperCard programmer to find the Note, as that takes
all the fun out of it. If you are going to look for it that way, you might
as well peek with ResEdit.
--
Mark B. Johnson AppleLink: mjohnson
Developer Technical Support domain: mjoh...@Apple.com
Apple Computer, Inc. UUCP: {amdahl,decwrl,sun,unisoft}!apple!mjohnson
"You gave your life to become the person you are right now. Was it worth it?"
- Richard Bach, _One_
Michael Tod Rose
Someone out there doesn't know what the dogcow is. This message is for him
or her.
Ever choose "Page Setup..." with a LaserWriter selected and click on the
"Options" button? The strange looking animal you see on the page is known
as the dogcow, because one can't tell if it's a dog or a cow. Were it to
make a sound, the sound it would make would be "Moof."
(Note #1: A friend of mine sampled someone saying "Foom," reversed it and
made it a beep sound. Try it; it brings the whole thing a new perspective.)
(Note #2: According to Greg Decoteu [spelling may be off], an engineer w/ Apple
Printing Group [and he should know], the beast is actually *called* a Moof,
somewhat the way a young child refers to a cat as a "meow-meow.")
I hope this forestalls this line of questioning right quickly.
-mike "when i use the internet, i miss applelink, and vice versa" rose
mr...@andrew.cmu.edu
Mark B. Johnson
>
>(Note #1: A friend of mine sampled someone saying "Foom," reversed it and
>made it a beep sound. Try it; it brings the whole thing a new perspective.)
Actually, if you can find TN #31 in the Technical Notes Stack 3.1, you will
have had to run into an actual dogcow (Clarus) saying !fooM. Gee, wonder
where that might be?
>
>(Note #2: According to Greg Decoteu [spelling may be off], an engineer w/ Apple
>Printing Group [and he should know], the beast is actually *called* a Moof,
>somewhat the way a young child refers to a cat as a "meow-meow.")
Sorry to disappoint you here, but dogcows are NOT called Moof. Moof! is the
sound a dogcow makes. Make no mistake about it. Dogcows are called dogcows,
unless you happen to know them, like Clarus in DTS.
Earle R. Horton
...
>Actually, if you can find TN #31 in the Technical Notes Stack 3.1, you will
>have had to run into an actual dogcow (Clarus) saying !fooM. Gee, wonder
>where that might be?
Yours truly found it, and it was not that hard. I must say that the
choice of encryption algorithm was extremely clever, however. You will
never get it from the script unless you are fluent in ebg13, so you
might as well try to solve it the right way!
Earle R. Horton
Kent Borg
I found tech note 31, and even managed to talk a friend through to it
on the phone, but I hadn't appreciated the great value in hearing the
!fooM. I only thought it cute. When tried to reproduce it again, it
didn't work. !fooM is *very* important.
I even sent Mac The Knife a fax on how to find Clarus, but I left out
the !fooM, he didn't find it himself--or wasn't interested--and I
didn't get a mug. Would have been fun to have my boss wonder how I
got a MacWeek mug...
As for the encryption algolrythm, I didn't figure it out, I just got
it itself to tell me what I needed to know.
Everybody out there go on a Dog Cow hunt, right away, before they all
disappear from grazing off cliffs!
--
Kent Borg "You know me, bright ideas
ke...@lloyd.uucp just pop into my head!"
or -Mrs Lovett
...!husc6!lloyd!kent (from Stephen Sondheim's "Sweeny Todd")
Mark B. Johnson
>
>I found tech note 31, and even managed to talk a friend through to it
>on the phone, but I hadn't appreciated the great value in hearing the
>!fooM. I only thought it cute. When tried to reproduce it again, it
>didn't work. !fooM is *very* important.
>
>I even sent Mac The Knife a fax on how to find Clarus, but I left out
>the !fooM, he didn't find it himself--or wasn't interested--and I
>didn't get a mug. Would have been fun to have my boss wonder how I
>got a MacWeek mug...
Oh but this is heresy. Although we appreciate the GOOD press from MacLeak
on "Phil & Dave's Excellent CD," etc., they should NOT get any special
treatment on helping to find the dogcow. If one of the Mac the Knife
reporters cares enough to look, he or she can spend the time like you
or I. Never know what one might find...
Allen Edmiston
:)
Tim W Smith
mailed in one of the developer mailings? Is that soon to be a collectors
item? Should I find my copy and place it in a mylar bag backed with
acid free cardboard?
Tim Smith
Werner Uhrig
In <89262.031...@PSUVM.BITNET>, ALE...@PSUVM.BITNET (Allen Edmiston) :
> now wait a min... if they go "moof!" then shouldn't they be called Cowdogs?
AMDA, the Austin Macintosh DogCattlemen Association certainly
thinks so ... (this really chaffs my Developer hide .. :-)
--
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Lloyd Lim
out what it is. I gave up with playing around so I went into the scripts to
see what to do. I just do an option-shift-click on the dogcow to get it to
Moof! and !fooM. Then I enter the grazing stuff into the goto tech note dialog
to get #31. This has worked for me every time I've tried it. The "encryption"
scheme is really the simple rot13. I figure it's safe to tell you all this
since you've already seen it.
What I'm curious about is how you got the stack to tell you the key phrase.
Would you mind telling me how you stumbled across this unique phrase?
+++
Lloyd Lim Internet: l...@iris.ucdavis.edu (128.120.57.20)
Compuserve: 72647,660
US Mail: 146 Lysle Leach Hall, U.C. Davis, Davis, CA 95616
Mark B. Johnson
If you've got one of the "original" paper copies, hang on to it. The Note
in the stack is there to share the story with a wider audience; however,
these people cannot reproduce the same printed copy you have. Collector's
item? Only you can make that decision.
Mark B. Johnson
>
>What I'm curious about is how you got the stack to tell you the key phrase.
>Would you mind telling me how you stumbled across this unique phrase?
>
You did NOT miss anything. You cannot figure out the important stuff from
the stack without sniffing around with a little advance knowledge. If,
however, you already know a great deal about dogcows, it should have been
a fairly trivial exercise.
Brian Kendig
>now wait a min... if they go "moof!" then shouldn't they be called Cowdogs?
No, because they also go "!fooM".
It's perfectly logical, you see.
Brian Kendig
>What I'm curious about is how you got the stack to tell you the key phrase.
>Would you mind telling me how you stumbled across this unique phrase?
Of course I don't mind! I was just curious how some minor feat was
accomplished in the stack. I forget exactly what caught my interest, but it
had absolutely nothing to do with dogcows whatsoever, I assure you.
Of course, being a good programmer, I immediately began grokking the stack
script. I thought that the repeated references to some strange code were a
touch unusual until I recognized them as rot13 crypt.
I would have thought nothing more about it until I realized that:
- the main() XCMD was being used on the rot13, and I was really curious as to
what main() did;
- there were a few more convolutions in the code than I thought necessary
(I later decided that these were probably to throw hackers of the track.
Obviously, it didn't work); and
- MacDTS wrote it. Them, serious? 'Nuff said.
I worked my way backwards through the code until I figured out what was going
on. I hit a dead-end when my machine refused to show the Dogcow note (it just
beeped, because it ran out of memory on my 1M SE); that's why I originally
complained about a 'bug' in the code.
More questions, though: I think the pass for showing the Dogcow is either
"Grazing off a cliff" or "Lost in the weeds" (my memory fails me as to which
it really was...), but there is reference made in the stack scripts to both of
these phrases, as well as "loso in the weeds" (lower-case 'l', 't' swapped
for second 'o'). Are these in there for some obscure reason?
And while I think of it, how often does that stack get revised, and when will
the Tech Notes since this spring be added?
Richard Ewing
the weird little doggie-in-the-window [sic]. Just the dogcow. No more,
no less.
Second of all, the dogcow goes Moof!, and occasionally goes !fooM. It
hasn't been known to say much else.
Thirdly, if we're going to use this expression, it should be
"Moofin' Dogcows!", not "Moofing Dogcows!". A little respect
to Lil' Orphan Annie must be considered.
--
__________________________________________________________________________
|Disclaimer: Segmentation Fault: Core Dumped. |
| |
|Internet: REW...@APPLE.COM-----------------------Rick Ewing |
|ApplelinkPE & MacNet Soon!------------------Apple Computer, Inc. |
|Applelink: EWING--------------------100 Ashford Center North, Suite 100 |
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|USENET: {amdahl,decwrl,sun,unisoft}!apple!rewing |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mark B. Johnson
>
>Thirdly, if we're going to use this expression, it should be
>"Moofin' Dogcows!", not "Moofing Dogcows!". A little respect
>to Lil' Orphan Annie must be considered.
Correction here please. As a representative from DTS, it must be pointed out
that one should NOT use phrases like "Moofing Dogcows!" and especially NOT
like "Moofin' Dogcows!". A dogcow goes Moof! Any other use of the terms
is disrespectful...didn't you read Miss Manners?
I must also point out that for the sake of Apple Legal, it really is proper
to say Moof (TM) as we did (really, look it up) trademark it. We're serious
about our dogcows.
Mark B. Johnson
>the Tech Notes since this spring be added?
>
I was supposed to have a revision out by MacWorld Boston, but as you can see
there isn't one. We are tracking down a few obscure bugs and will have a
special release in November on the second volume of "Phil & Dave's Excellent CD"
I will try to get an interim update out before then, but I won't make any
promises. Just trust me that the wait will be worth it. After the November
release on CD, look for updates to come every other month like the Notes
themselves (really). Also look for a new version of the Q & A Stack in
November.
Thanks to everyone who has sent in bug reports and corrections to the Notes
during the past few months. DTS really appreciates it. As for the August
batch of Macintosh Notes with all the errors, we apologize. Corrections are
being reviewed at this moment and will be in your hands shortly after the
first of October. We'll try to do better in our reviews in the future. We
are all guilty of letting the errors through and we appreciate you folks
keeping us honest.
Larry Prince
>>now wait a min... if they go "moof!" then shouldn't they be called Cowdogs?
>
>No, because they also go "!fooM".
>
>It's perfectly logical, you see.
>
Not really...they should obviously be called godwocs.
UCLA Computer Science Department
-- Larry 3413 Boelter Hall Los Angeles 90024 (213) 825-2145
Prince UUCP: {uunet,rutgers,ucbvax}!cs.ucla.edu!prince
Internet: pri...@CS.UCLA.EDU
Ralph Brandi
>to say Moof (TM) as we did (really, look it up) trademark it. We're serious
>about our dogcows.
You guys are sick pupcalves....
Did you trademark it with the exclamation point, or without?
(In other words, is it Moof! (TM), or Moof(TM)!?)
--
Ralph Brandi ra...@lzfme.att.com att!lzfme!ralph
Work flows toward the competent until they are submerged.
Larry Prince
>
>You guys are sick pupcalves....
>
long enough :=>
Ted Johnson
What is the origin of all this Dogcow stuff?
-Ted
Alex Chaffee
>the stack without sniffing around with a little advance knowledge. If,
>however, you already know a great deal about dogcows, it should have been
>a fairly trivial exercise.
But... but I wanted to LEARN about dogcows from the tech note... Maybe it
should have been numbered (catch) 22...
"Nor is it a consequence of my bed's being covered with
leaves that I am not hallucinating that it is."
- Barry Stroud
____________________
--
Alex Chaffee
cha...@reed.UUCP
____________________
Roy Smith
I've been following this thread for a while (or at least trying to)
but I still havn't been able to figure out what you guys are talking about.
Just what *is* a Moof(TM)ing! dogcow?
--
Roy Smith, Public Health Research Institute
455 First Avenue, New York, NY 10016
{att,philabs,cmcl2,rutgers,hombre}!phri!roy -or- r...@alanine.phri.nyu.edu
"The connector is the network"
Mark B. Johnson
>
> I've been following this thread for a while (or at least trying to)
>but I still havn't been able to figure out what you guys are talking about.
>Just what *is* a Moof(TM)ing! dogcow?
There is NO such beast as a "Moofing! dogcow." However, for details and
living history of the dogcow (which goes Moof!), refer to Macintosh Technical
Note #31. (And please don't ask how you can find a copy.)
Mark B. Johnson
>
>What is the origin of all this Dogcow stuff?
>
The origin is quite graphically documented in Technical Note #31. Prior
to this documentation, there was nothing explaining the appearance of this
animal in the Page Setup Options dialog box.
Harry Saal
I figured out all the clues, but I think a revised edition is in order.
I am using the CD Tech Stack version, and on my Radius TPD, page 1 of
TN #31 has the right hand edge cut off. pp 2 and 3 are better visually.
But all three don't print correctly on my LW NTX; they are split into
multiple pages. Do dogcows try so hard to hide their very presence I
can't get a decent printout?
Walter C3arlip
make sure you have at least Version 3.1. I spent quite a while tryng to
find it in Version 3.0--in which none of the posted clues made any sense.
Also, be forwarned that even if you do find TechNote 31 that it does
contain errors. In particular, it says ``The dogcow's name is Clarus
for the same reason you cale a table a `table'.'' This is obviously
not true. The dogcow is *obviously* called Clarus for the same reason that
the dogstar is called Sirius. I hope that this oversight is corrected in
the next version of the stack.
--Walter
_____________________________________________________________________________
Walter C3arlip c3...@zaphod.uchicago.edu
(the "3" is silent) c3ar%zap...@UCHIMVS1.bitnet
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Walter C3arlip c3...@zaphod.uchicago.edu
(the "3" is silent) c3ar%zap...@UCHIMVS1.bitnet
_____________________________________________________________________________
Owen M. Hartnett
portions of the Observe Dogcow Sequence require the use of Option and shift
held together, which the default ApplicationMenu will override to display
a popup menu of applications.
I mention this only because there may be some people out there whose very
sanity only hinges on being able to see the Dogcow in the technotes stack.
Since our asylums are full to overflowing now, this information may somewhat
ease that congestion.
-Owen
Mark B. Johnson
If somebody wants to send me a Radius TPD I would be more than happy to
fix page 1. As for printing, you will not get a decent printed copy unless
you got an original or photocopy--this was, and remains, the intent. The
files are PICTs, so you can manipulate them if you really want a printed
copy...