Semi-OT: GW plays a text adventure!
turk
Xyzzy
Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure
Revision 88 / Serial number 54892
Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the
presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.
There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The
presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length
mirror upon the wall.
What do you want to do now?
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.
> PET SEAL
It's not that kind of seal.
> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along
with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton's shoes.
> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton's shoes.
> EXAMINE DESK
It is a large, oak desk, with several drawers.
In one drawer you find a bag of pretzels.
> EAT PRETZEL.
I don't think the pretzel would agree with you.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> GO RIGHT
Far-Right
You are on the far right of the political spectrum.
Jesse Helms is here.
John Ashcroft is here.
> GO RIGHT
Radical Right
You are on the extreme right of the political spectrum.
Dick Cheney is here.
Pat Robertson is here.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> TAKE VACATION
Taken.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 58% out of a possible 100%.
> GO PHOTOOP
Photo Op
You are at a the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, along with a gaggle of
obsequious members of the mainstream media.
There is a book here.
There are some children here.
> READ BOOK
You read "My Pet Goat."
In the distance, terrorists attack the United States.
> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."
> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."
> READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat."
> GO HOME
You fly around aimlessly for a while, then return to the White House.
Oval Office
> GIVE SPEECH
Who do you want to give the speech to?
> AMERICAN PEOPLE
You give the speech to the American people.
> DIAGNOSIS
Your favorablity rating is 84% out of a possible 100%.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> INVADE AFGHANISTAN
Afghanistan
You have invaded the nation of Afghanistan, bombing the Taliban nearly out
of existence.
Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, is here.
> INVADE IRAQ
(Leaving Afghanistan first.)
You are not able to do that, yet.
> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.
> FUCK
Such language in a high-class establishment like this!
> HYPE THREAT
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought
significant quantities of uranium from Africa."
> MONGER FEAR
"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the
smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud ..."
> MUDDY WATER
"We know that Iraq and the al Qaeda terrorist network share a common
enemy -- the United States of America. We know that Iraq and al Qaeda have
had high-level contacts that go back a decade. And we know that after
September the 11th, Saddam Hussein's regime gleefully celebrated the
terrorist attacks on America ..."
> PUNISH CRITICS
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency
operative on weapons of mass destruction ... "
> RAILROAD CONGRESS
You schedule a vote on the Iraq invasion for just before the 2002 midterm
elections. As usual, spineless democrats roll over like an SUV taking a
sharp corner.
Your plan to invade Iraq now has the backing of the American people and
Congress.
> INVADE IRAQ
Baghdad
You enter the Iraqi capital of Bagdad, having toppled the government and
captured the nation's key cities in only 21 days. You can't seem to find the
promised throngs of citizens greeting you as liberators, but the footage of
the Saddam statue being pulled down looks great on Fox!
> GIVE CONTRACTS
Who do you want to give the contracts to?
> HALLIBURTON
What kind of contracts do you wish to give to Halliburton?
> NO-BID
You give the no-bid contracts to Halliburton.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.
> WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
You put on the flightsuit.
> SAY "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
"Mission accomplished."
> EXAMINE MISSION
The mission is not accomplished.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.
Some insurgents arrive.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
Some insurgents arrive.
There is a small number of insurgents here.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
Some insurgents arrive.
There is a medium number of insurgents here.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
An election year arrives.
> GO LEFT
Far-Right
Pat Buchanan is here.
Sean Hannity is here.
> GO LEFT
Compassionate Conservativism
You are right-of-center on the political spectrum.
John McCain is here.
Joseph Leiberman is here.
> GET REELECTED
You get reelected.
> GO RIGHT
Far-Right
Tom DeLay is here.
Michelle Malkin is here.
> GO RIGHT
Radical Right
Rick Santorum is here.
Ann Coulter is here.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
Some insurgents arrive.
There is a large number of insurgents here.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
Some insurgents arrive.
There is a huge number of insurgents here.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.
Some insurgents arrive.
There is an overwhelming number of insurgents here.
> SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 47% out of a possible 100%.
> ADMIT MISTAKES
You are unable to admit mistakes.
> ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
You are unable to accept responsibility.
> DECLARE VICTORY
I do not know what you mean by "victory."
> QUIT
Oh, how we wish you would.
Gerry Quinn
@comcast.net says...
> http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/001561.html
Actual humour! Perhaps there is hope for the US Left...
- Gerry Quinn
turk
news:MPG.1e417429...@news1.eircom.net...
Oh yeah, because GW is sure lighting up those approval polls!
turk
--
"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." -George W.
Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the
United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News
interview, Dec. 12, 2005
Jonah Falcon
"Gerry Quinn" <ger...@DELETETHISindigo.ie> wrote in message
news:MPG.1e417429...@news1.eircom.net...
Judging by your name, I'm betting you have some stakes in the IRA/English
bloody conflict that's been going on for... how long, again? Please don't
criticize the US when your little civil war is disgustingly violent and
pointless.
Wolfing
has ever happened to the US, which sucks as we were in a good roll with
the 8 years of Clinton government.
By the way, it was indeed a fun read :) Wouldn't surprise me, as GW
being so old-fashioned probably wouldn't play a game with graphics,
because computers with graphics are evil and people could use them to
download and watch porn :)
REH
Wolfing wrote:
> Ok so I am in the US and I criticize it, GWB is the worst thing that
> has ever happened to the US, which sucks as we were in a good roll with
> the 8 years of Clinton government.
> By the way, it was indeed a fun read :) Wouldn't surprise me, as GW
> being so old-fashioned probably wouldn't play a game with graphics,
> because computers with graphics are evil and people could use them to
> download and watch porn :)
GW scares me because he is alienating us from the rest of the world.
Everyone seems to be against us now, because he refuses to compromise
with anyone or any nation. We always maintain enough military to fight
two wars. I think we are full up.
Jonah Falcon
"REH" <spam...@stny.rr.com> wrote in message
news:1138223118....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
How come no one discusses his cocaine addiction?
Magnulus
"Jonah Falcon" <jonah...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:NESBf.5505$rH5....@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
>
> How come no one discusses his cocaine addiction?
God took away all those addictions a long time ago (probably 5 years, but
who is counting?), just like God created the world in six days and God told
GW bush to invade Iraq and take their weapons of mass destruction away from
them.
Gerry Quinn
jonah...@mindspring.com says...
> "Gerry Quinn" <ger...@DELETETHISindigo.ie> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1e417429...@news1.eircom.net...
> > In article <QJGdnbZn87CWLUve...@comcast.com>, turk96
> > @comcast.net says...
> >
> >> http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/001561.html
> >
> > Actual humour! Perhaps there is hope for the US Left...
>
> Judging by your name, I'm betting you have some stakes in the IRA/English
> bloody conflict that's been going on for... how long, again?
That's a wild conclusion to draw from my name, but it's irrelevant
anyway.
> Please don't
> criticize the US when your little civil war is disgustingly violent and
> pointless.
I didn't criticise the US - I pointed out that many on the US Left seem
to have a tendency to confound the concept of faeces hurling with that
of sophisticated wit, and complimented a rare counter-example. Some of
the other posts in this thread bear out my point more than adequately.
- Gerry Quinn
REH
I knew we (in the US) were going down the toilet when three times as
many people for "American Idol" than voted for president. I was very
sad that day...
REH
I knew we (in the US) were going down the toilet when three times as
many people voted for "American Idol" than voted for president. I was
very sad that day...
Andrew
>I knew we (in the US) were going down the toilet when three times as
>many people for "American Idol" than voted for president. I was very
>sad that day...
Personally I would prefer Fantasia in the Whitehouse over Dubya.
--
Andrew, contact via interpleb.blogspot.com
Help make Usenet a better place: English is read downwards,
please don't top post. Trim replies to quote only relevant text.
Check groups.google.com before asking an obvious question.
Nats
> I knew we (in the US) were going down the toilet when three times as
> many people voted for "American Idol" than voted for president. I was
> very sad that day...
>
We in the UK can understand that perfectly.
John Secker
Falcon <jonah...@mindspring.com> writes
- the "ad nominem".
--
John Secker
KCB
Where did you get the information about voter totals? Idol season 3 had
over 65 million total votes; Fox didn't release vote totals for season 4
(Carrie Underwood allegedly beat Bo Bice, who knows?). Total votes in the
last presidential election were over 121 million.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Idol
http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/2005/11/bo_bice_lost_am.html
http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/
REH
"KCB" <kcbair...@THIScomcast.net> wrote in message
news:l_qdnalR1vV...@comcast.com...
I remember reading an article on CNN's website. I remember the season; the
don't want the show. I think this was the very first one. Anyway, the
article was about how 300 million people voted for "Idol." As you stated,
only a little over 100 million voted for president. I remember thinking it
was sad.
Andrew
>I remember reading an article on CNN's website. I remember the season; the
>don't want the show. I think this was the very first one. Anyway, the
>article was about how 300 million people voted for "Idol." As you stated,
>only a little over 100 million voted for president. I remember thinking it
>was sad.
Do you really think everybody in the US voted on Idol?
REH
No, you are probably correct (seeing how I didn't vote on it!). I went
looking for the article. All I could find was an article about how
there was some problems with the phones and/or voting system. About
100 million votes and about 115 million could not get through. If
those are the correct numbers, that is double and still sad.
Either way, we have drifted way off the topic of this group and I
*really* don't wish to get into a discussion about an inane TV show.
Regards.
KCB
OK, this is OT, but the reason I replied is because your OP about vote
totals is how urban legends get started. You stated it like a fact and it
was actually utter bulls__t. The fact is about 18 million votes were
tallied in season one, 24 million in season two, 65 million in season three,
and an unknown number in season four. Remember, anybody who could get
through could vote as many times as they wanted. Some people voted hundreds
of times, so that certainly inflated the totals. As far as 300 million
people voting for Idol..well, the US population currently sits at about 298
million. How many even watch Idol?
REH
"KCB" <kcbair...@THIScomcast.net> wrote in message
>
> OK, this is OT, but the reason I replied is because your OP about vote
> totals is how urban legends get started. You stated it like a fact and it
> was actually utter bulls__t. The fact is about 18 million votes were
> tallied in season one, 24 million in season two, 65 million in season
> three, and an unknown number in season four. Remember, anybody who could
> get through could vote as many times as they wanted. Some people voted
> hundreds of times, so that certainly inflated the totals. As far as 300
> million people voting for Idol..well, the US population currently sits at
> about 298 million. How many even watch Idol?
>
I stated it as fact because I read it in a news article from a reliable
source, CNN. My mistake was misinterpreting the data because I did not know
that multiple votes were allowed. As I stated, I don't watch the show. It
was not my intent to spread misinformation. You need only post a reply
pointing out that my inference was incorrect. There is not necessary to be
confrontational.
Mean_Chlorine
>Do you really think everybody in the US voted on Idol?
FYI... Idol doesn't practice one person = one vote.
Andrew
<mike_no...@NOSPAMyahoo.co.uk> wrote:
>>Do you really think everybody in the US voted on Idol?
>
>FYI... Idol doesn't practice one person = one vote.
I know, I was replying to the claptrap being spouted by the other guy
who didn't bother engage his brain before presenting his idea as
facts.
Briarroot
>
> I remember reading an article on CNN's website. I remember the season; the
> don't want the show. I think this was the very first one. Anyway, the
> article was about how 300 million people voted for "Idol." As you stated,
> only a little over 100 million voted for president. I remember thinking it
> was sad.
>
300 million is more than the total population of the United States.
I suspect either your memory is faulty or the numbers were fake - or both.
Anssi Saari
> By the way, it was indeed a fun read :) Wouldn't surprise me, as GW
> being so old-fashioned probably wouldn't play a game with graphics,
> because computers with graphics are evil and people could use them to
> download and watch porn :)
Well, you know, there's written porn too... And ASCII art and line
printers...
Wolfing
Idol, it's 300 million votes. There are people using 'automatic
dialers' to repeatedly vote for the same person. I wouldn't be
surprised if 95% of the votes are actually auto-votes, but since it
works for everyone the same, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Gerry Quinn
wolf...@gmail.com says...
> Briarroot wrote:
> > REH wrote:
> > 300 million is more than the total population of the United States.
> > I suspect either your memory is faulty or the numbers were fake - or both.
> The phrasing is wrong. It's not 300 million people that voted for
> Idol, it's 300 million votes. There are people using 'automatic
> dialers' to repeatedly vote for the same person. I wouldn't be
> surprised if 95% of the votes are actually auto-votes, but since it
> works for everyone the same, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Actually it works best for the program makers and the telephone
companies. For others, considerably less well...
- Gerry Quinn