How many more girlfriends will I get with my NEW 486 *TOWER*???

3 views
Skip to first unread message

Tim Ciceran

unread,
Dec 6, 1992, 1:51:05 PM12/6/92
to
In article <1992Dec6.1...@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> nwic...@nyx.UUCP
(Neal Wickham) writes:
>
>Config: Big sx 486fx *TOWER* (slight hook to left) with 69 megs
>of X-ram and Dimomdstud Speedcar Hyper SeXVGA mega-card (256 X 12
>inch X 5 zillion kHz) with Blow-Work monitor and Blast-yer-Ass
>soundcard!!

>Software: Word Perfect 5.4, Perfect Word 4.5, Word 6, Word 7,
>Word 9, AND Word 8!, Lotus 1-2-3, Lotus 2-4-6, Lotus 10-9-8,
>WarGods, KingWars, GodWars, WarKings, War of the Gods, God of the
>Wars, King of the Gods, God of the Kings, King of the Wars, God
>Damn it All, and ...Leisure Suite Larry :)

>My question is ...won't this work A LOT better on the babes than
>a sissy A4000?

Obviously you jest. The only truly charismatic platform for the the
computational libido is... BLAZEMONGER :).

Richard Akerman

unread,
Dec 6, 1992, 6:40:42 PM12/6/92
to
In article <1992Dec6.1...@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA> t...@spartan.ac.BrockU.CA (Tim Ciceran) writes:
>In article <1992Dec6.1...@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> nwic...@nyx.UUCP
>(Neal Wickham) writes:
>>
>> [description of 486 and programs]

>
>>My question is ...won't this work A LOT better on the babes than
>>a sissy A4000?
>
>Obviously you jest. The only truly charismatic platform for the the
>computational libido is... BLAZEMONGER :).

Well, my friend Peter plays BLAZEMONGER and he tells me that if you give
the solution to the Grand Unified Theory to Pumpkin the Kindness Rabbit on
level 29872 every eligible woman within 10 km will rush to your room, where
they will mill about making scandalous word-play on computer terms such as
"joystick", "hard disk" and "floppy drive" and then leave in an hour or so
after eating all of your snack foods.

Unfortunately, in order to reach this level in BLAZEMONGER Peter has had
himself put on 24hr life-support so he never has to leave the Amiga, and
also he had the left hemisphere of his brain scooped out and replaced with
a Cray Y-MP for those tricky public key decoding problems on the
prime-numbered levels, so he's sometimes not very lucid. Also, last time I
was there he had marked a pentagram around himself and his computer.

In fact, since my last visit his email messages have become increasingly
incoherent, and filled with references to "beyond the 7th portal",
"cthulU", "slimy tentacles" and "Irving Gould", so I can only assume he's
reached the extra-dimensional occult peril levels, or maybe he's run low on
liquid nitrogen and is having a system failure. In any case, I'm certainly
not going in to check on him.


--
Richard J. Akerman | ake...@QUCIS.QueensU.Ca | "There is no plot."
Semi-competent | ake...@QUCIS.BITNET | -Guinan in Time's Arrow II
Graduate Student in Computer Science | Star Trek: The Next
Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada | Generation

Daniel Barrett

unread,
Dec 7, 1992, 12:00:25 PM12/7/92
to
In article <1992Dec6.2...@qucis.queensu.ca> ake...@qucis.queensu.ca (Richard Akerman) writes:
>Well, my friend Peter plays BLAZEMONGER and he tells me that if you give
>the solution to the Grand Unified Theory to Pumpkin the Kindness Rabbit on
>level 29872 every eligible woman within 10 km will rush to your room, where
>they will mill about making scandalous word-play on computer terms such as
>"joystick", "hard disk" and "floppy drive" and then leave in an hour or so
>after eating all of your snack foods.

I think your friend needs to play a little less BLAZEMONGER.
He is obviously starting to hallucinate. And anyway, BLAZEMONGER doesn't
release the airborne sex hormones until level 36,842.

Dan

//////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
| Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA 01003 -- bar...@cs.umass.edu |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages