My penis is both gnarled and magnificent

[David J. Tholen]

Many told me that it was impossible to have sex with the center hole in
an OS/2 Warp 4 install CD.

I disagreed, and proved them wrong. Repeatedly.

My penis now resembles a garlic knot bread, but it was - and still is -
worth it.

When I gaze upon my male member, I bask in its knurled glory.

It is unfortunate that I shall never again have a sexual partner whose
vocabulary isn't limited to the words, "moo," "baa," or "me-e-e-e-eh,"
but I embrace these new horizons.

However, my enjoyment of having giant handfuls of dogshit smooshed into
my face shall not be abated.

Also, Pluto is totally a planet.

David J. Tholen.