Windows 98 Humor
Steven Barger
Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
10) You could get a Chevy motor for a Yugo.
9) Anyone could make the cream filling for a Twinkie.
8) You could find Cap'n Crunch toys in a box of Rice Krispies.
7) Reebok could make shoe liners for Nike.
6) ABC Television could show programs on NBC.
5) You could get a Big Mac at Burger King.
4) Crayola would have to offer new colors as "color alternatives".
3) Hilfiger would have to contain "links" for a 3rd arm hole
in all shirts just in case they sold to someone with 3 arms.
2) The Rolling Stones would have to play a Little Steven song for all of
his fans.
And the number one thing that would change
1) Netscape would have to offer direct links that only go to
www.Microsoft.com!
...Now, it all seems fair, doesn't it?
--
Steven Barger "NASCAR is Pro-Football on Wheels !!!"
GO MARK & TED!! -- Humpy Wheeler
BOB
BRAVO! Right on the mark. And let's replace the Dept of Injustice
people with an ELECTED slate of executives who are directly
responsible to the people. No more of this tyranny from RENO and NY
lawyers!
Bob
Bill Gross
sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
>Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
>were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
>
How about an OS that worked as advertised the first time. One that
didn't require you to wait three years and buy the same thing over
again to get the bug free OS you thought you bought the first time.
Geez, Gates really has you guys believing the sun rises and sets on
Micro$oft.
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Al Boyce
Hmm. I don't wanna take sides, but for this analogy to be correct 90 percent
of Americans would have to be Chevy-driving, Rice Crispie-eating,
Nike-wearing, NBC-watching, Tommy Hilfiger-wearing Crayola fans who listen
only to the Rolling Stones ... while using Netscape.
Also, I see a certain amount of consistency between the DOJ's handling of
this and the Monica Lewinski matter :-)
BOB wrote:
> BRAVO! Right on the mark. And let's replace the Dept of Injustice
> people with an ELECTED slate of executives who are directly
> responsible to the people. No more of this tyranny from RENO and NY
> lawyers!
>
> Bob
>
> sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
>
> >Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
> >were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
> >
ABE
On Wed, 20 May 1998 16:50:34 GMT, bgr...@airmail.DELETE.net (Bill Gross) wrote:
>sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
>
>>Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
>>were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
>>
>
>How about an OS that worked as advertised the first time. One that
>didn't require you to wait three years and buy the same thing over
>again to get the bug free OS you thought you bought the first time.
>
>
>Geez, Gates really has you guys believing the sun rises and sets on
>Micro$oft.
If Windows 95 were a car, we could all get refunds under the lemon law.
Woody
If you like this thread, go look at the Rools-Royce paragraphs in the
Alledgedly section of www.bloor.co.uk
--
Andrew W.
Harrogate, UK
wo...@tangon.demon.co.uk
g1uxp@gb7cym
To reply, replace nospam with tangon in the address.
Kevin Davis
>sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
>
>>Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
>>were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
>>
>
>How about an OS that worked as advertised the first time. One that
>didn't require you to wait three years and buy the same thing over
>again to get the bug free OS you thought you bought the first time.
This is a mythical item.
Remove zzz from my email address:
~~~Golf Tip: Don't pick up a lost ball until it stops rolling~~~o
Kevin Davis "Hoser" email - kda...@zzzcastlegate.net
Home Page - http://www.castlegate.net/personals/kdavis
Standard Disclaimer (Win95 Tips, sound bites, and more!)
Bob Ramsey
Steven Barger wrote:
>
> 6) ABC Television could show programs on NBC.
Actually, they can. Well, maybe not specifically ABC for NBC, but
production companies for HBO and others create programs that may or may
not run on the parent network.
How about some like this:
What if other companies acted like Microsoft:
--If you bought Nike shoes, you would either wear Nike pants or go
naked.
--If you bought Gold Medal floor, you have to use Nestle chips in
chocolate chip cookies. (I believe both are owned by Nestle)
--If you bought a GM car you must have a Delco radio (I think those are
the right companies. I know one car manufacturer does have a financial
interest in the company that makes the radios)
--If you buy windows 98, you are forbidden to use Opera as your browser.
Oh wait, that may be the case.
Any others?
Bob
Bill Stebbins
In article <356328a1...@news.idt.net>, elko...@alumni.caltech.edu wrote:
>On Wed, 20 May 1998 16:50:34 GMT, bgr...@airmail.DELETE.net (Bill Gross) wrote:
>
>>sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
>>
>>>Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
>>>were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
>>>
>>
>>How about an OS that worked as advertised the first time. One that
>>didn't require you to wait three years and buy the same thing over
>>again to get the bug free OS you thought you bought the first time.
>>
>>
>>Micro$oft.
>
>If Windows 95 were a car, we could all get refunds under the lemon law.
>
>
And speaking of cars (and Windows 95):
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates once reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had
kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all
be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the following
statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?".
(And they were being generous)
Bill Stebbins
Live well, Laugh often, Love much...
Walt
I have been thinking of this ever since I heard the
Congressman (Senator?) from Washington use this
example similar to this against the "mean" justice
department.
I look at this more like...
McDonald's places concrete barriers in front of
Burger King.
Burger King protests saying that this is keeping
customers from entering their place. McDonald's
responds that customers can still climb over the
barriers if they really want to. Reality is that
most potential customers would not be brothered.
The government steps in, and tells McDonald's to
sell Whoppers until they remove the concrete
barriers. Ronald McGates calls a press conference
to express the "shock" that McDonald's is being
forced to offer its competitors Whoppers. McGates
exclaims it is un-American and its concrete barriers
were just a safety enhancement to its restaurants
located across the street. "Most people prefer
Big Macs and therefore we are more interested in
their safety than their choice", McGates said.
Sorry, I could not resist. :)
John R Cambron
ABE wrote:
>
> On Wed, 20 May 1998 16:50:34 GMT, bgr...@airmail.DELETE.net (Bill Gross) wrote:
>
> >sba...@freenet.columbus.oh.us (Steven Barger) wrote:
> >
> >>Top 10 things in life we could change if the Government
> >>were as strict with all manufacturers as they are with Microsoft.
> >>
> >
> >How about an OS that worked as advertised the first time. One that
> >didn't require you to wait three years and buy the same thing over
> >again to get the bug free OS you thought you bought the first time.
> >
> >
> >Geez, Gates really has you guys believing the sun rises and sets on
> >Micro$oft.
>
> If Windows 95 were a car, we could all get refunds under the lemon law.
Not only is Microsoft a monopoly its OSes and app are memory pigs.
--
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John R Cambron
North Beach MD USA
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