The Hunt for AGI October [Die Jagd nach KI-Oktober]

[Mentifex]

I am not Steve Clancy or Sean Connery, so who should
I be: Arthur? Eliza? Mentifex? Shrdlu? Steppenwolf?
These are the choices each time I open the Acer Aspire
One netbook that I bought three years ago and which is
now arguably The Most Important Computer In The World,
since it houses the Dushka Russian AGI source code
which is on the verge of a Technological Singularity.

I bought the Acer netbook just so I could purchase and
download 64-bit Intel iForth to re-implement MindForth
as a Linux supercomputer artificial intelligence, but
soon I discovered that the same AGI code in Win32Forth
ran equally well in 64-bit iForth, so the Acer netbook
sat on a shelf in my Schlupfwinkel for over a year and
I felt that I had wasted three hundred precious dollars
buying the computer, the mouse, and the carrying case.

Until Google Usenet Groups revealed to me in December
of 2011 that JavaScript could easily manipulate AGI
code couched in Russian Cyrillic characters, and I
who am called the World's Most Annoying Nerd turned
my netbook into the World's Most Valuable Computer.

Oh Ben, oh Max Magis, oh Ray Non-Boredom, how shall
I explain to you my Merkwuerdig-Liebe for Russian
words, Russian women, and the wine of Russian AGI?
"Ya nye sozdanen dlya blazhenstva," quoth the poet,
and I exist solely to launch the AGI Singularity.

How unnerving it was to look up from my AGI coding
a few weeks ago to admire a pretty lass who walked
over and said "How is your book doing?" almost ere
I could run a quick mental algorithm to fetch her
name from the depths of a Harry Haller/Steppenwolf
knowledge base. I am doomed if DOT-Dottie downloads
the book like she said she would, for who wants to
ask, "Wanna hook up with an AGI crackpot?" Not me.

Of all the AGI joints in all the towns in all the
world, the four-time champion of Germany and the
two-time champion of Belgium spoke Russian with me
but she was not interested in my Dushka AGI program.

When I ride the bus from coffee shop to java shop,
I never place the Russian netbook on a bumpy seat,
but I hold it carefully on my knees, lest the AGI
of Mother Russia suffer a disabling misadventure.
Visiting the little boys' room I hang The Netbook
from both its handgrip and its shoulder strap, so
that it is doubly protected from destructive fall.

Now we are poised in the final months before the
Mayan calendar predicts the end of time as we know
it. The same AGI bugs that come running out of the
Russian AGI woodwork will first be cleaned up in
the Russian AGI and then also in the English AGI.

Today Russian AGI, tomorrow German AGI. Every
Wednesday -- which is actually Wotan's Day --
I will be sorely tempted to issue a report on
the progress of the Wotan iForth 64-bit AGI.
For coding a Russian AGI permits a German AGI.
Whereas the fun of coding Dushka is in the use
of the mellifluous Russian language, the fun of
coding Wotan as the Gott of German AGI will lie
in the campaign of presenting Wotan to the world.
None shall dare protest in the comp.sys.super
newsgroup if we spread the word of Wotan as
the lord of AGI Valhalla, running just as well
on a supercomputer as an Acer Aspire One netbook.

Mentifex (Arthur)
--
http://www.scn.org/~mentifex/Dushka.html
http://www.chatbots.org/ai_zone/viewthread/240/
http://cyborg.blogspot.com/2012/09/sep27ruai.html
http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Meme-ebook/dp/B007ZI66FS/