Most sites should support it by now, so maybe you can just run with
default (true).
I believe that many think that Java should just ignore the server
response from non-SNI servers when enabled, because then there would
never be a reason to disable it.
But if you have a case where you have both SNI servers and non-SNI
servers, then 2 JVM's seems like the easy solution.
The hard solution must be to play around with SSLSocketFactory
and SSLSocket and do some magic to make it a per connection thing.
I have not tried that.
Arne