Blonde C jokes
Malcolm McLean
simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
After about a hour she hands the code back in. The manager compiles
it, and it comes back with several thousand syntax errors - completely
unusable and irrepairable. "What've you done?" he asks, "Oh," she
says, "I spotted a few typos. So I ran it through the spell-checker."
Two blondes are pair programming. For a while all goes well, but after
a time a bitter dispute arises between them, so serious that it has to
go to senior management.
"What's wrong?" asks the manager.
"I can't work with her anymore", says one, "she's too catty".
"Can you explain further?" askes the manager.
"Yes, she's always playing with the mouse."
What's a blonde's favourite C function?
tan.
The firm gets a new big mainframe in. The blonde is given the task of
porting code to it.
She writes
ptr = (char *) malloc(10);
"Why are you casting your malloc?" asks the manager.
"That's so it compiles under a C++ compiler".
"OK" says the manager.
Then he sees her taking out '//' comments.
"Why are you doing that?" he asks.
"That's so it compiles under a strict C89 compiler"
Then she takes a routine called bubblesort" and renames it "bsort".
"Why are you doing that?" he asks.
"Identifiers need to be six characters or less so it compiles under a
Fortran linker" she says.
"Look" says the manager, "isn't this getting a bit silly? Why does it
need to compile under all these different systems?"
"Mr Mannering", she says, "the new computer is in the basement."
Alexander Bartolich
> [...]
> "Look" says the manager, "isn't this getting a bit silly? Why does it
> need to compile under all these different systems?"
> "Mr Mannering", she says, "the new computer is in the basement."
I don't get this one.
--
Rich Webb
It's "in the basement" i.e., it will be "under" all of them.
--
Rich Webb Norfolk, VA
Alexander Bartolich
> Alexander Bartolich <alexander...@gmx.at> wrote:
>> Malcolm McLean wrote:
>>> [...]
>>> "Look" says the manager, "isn't this getting a bit silly? Why does it
>>> need to compile under all these different systems?"
>>> "Mr Mannering", she says, "the new computer is in the basement."
>>
>>I don't get this one.
>
> It's "in the basement" i.e., it will be "under" all of them.
So the hidden assumption is that all these different systems are
located upstairs. This is not logical. Ruby coders and the like
might indeed prefer light-flooded lofts. But the story is about
C++, C89 and Fortran. And everybody knows that real programmers
are photophobic.
--
Bill Reid
wrote:
> Rich Webb wrote:
didn't miss anything, it wasn't funny...
---
William Ernest Reid
ng2010
> A blonde arrives for her first day as a C programmer. She's given a
> simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
> After about a hour she hands the code back in. The manager compiles
> it
LOL! That is funny!!
August Karlstrom
> A blonde arrives for her first day as a C programmer. She's given a
> simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
> After about a hour she hands the code back in.
Stale sexist jokes. Come on, it's 2010.
August
Daniel Giaimo
How is a blonde joke sexist?
--
Dan G
Richard Heathfield
It's the E. Male blonds are blond.
--
Richard Heathfield <http://www.cpax.org.uk>
Email: -http://www. +rjh@
"Usenet is a strange place" - dmr 29 July 1999
Sig line vacant - apply within
Daniel Giaimo
> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>> On 4/5/2010 5:01 AM, August Karlstrom wrote:
>>> Malcolm McLean wrote:
>>>> A blonde arrives for her first day as a C programmer. She's given a
>>>> simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
>>>> After about a hour she hands the code back in.
>>> [...]
>>>
>>> Stale sexist jokes. Come on, it's 2010.
>>
>> How is a blonde joke sexist?
>
> It's the E. Male blonds are blond.
>
Maybe technically, but I've always understood blond(e) jokes as
referring equally well to either sex. Like the idiot surfer
dude/California girl stereotype
--
Dan G
Richard Heathfield
> On 4/5/2010 5:28 AM, Richard Heathfield wrote:
>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>>> On 4/5/2010 5:01 AM, August Karlstrom wrote:
>>>> Malcolm McLean wrote:
>>>>> A blonde arrives for her first day as a C programmer. She's given a
>>>>> simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
>>>>> After about a hour she hands the code back in.
>>>> [...]
>>>>
>>>> Stale sexist jokes. Come on, it's 2010.
>>>
>>> How is a blonde joke sexist?
>>
>> It's the E. Male blonds are blond.
>>
>
> Maybe technically, but I've always understood blond(e) jokes as
> referring equally well to either sex.
"...her first day..." is a bit of a giveaway to those who miss the 'e'.
Daniel Giaimo
> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>> On 4/5/2010 5:28 AM, Richard Heathfield wrote:
>>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>>>> On 4/5/2010 5:01 AM, August Karlstrom wrote:
>>>>> Malcolm McLean wrote:
>>>>>> A blonde arrives for her first day as a C programmer. She's given a
>>>>>> simple job, changing a few error messages in a 10,000 line program.
>>>>>> After about a hour she hands the code back in.
>>>>> [...]
>>>>>
>>>>> Stale sexist jokes. Come on, it's 2010.
>>>>
>>>> How is a blonde joke sexist?
>>>
>>> It's the E. Male blonds are blond.
>>>
>>
>> Maybe technically, but I've always understood blond(e) jokes as
>> referring equally well to either sex.
>
> "...her first day..." is a bit of a giveaway to those who miss the 'e'.
>
Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when
they are referring to a person of either gender.
--
Dan G
Richard Heathfield
Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
Ersek, Laszlo
> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>> Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when they
>> are referring to a person of either gender.
>
> Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
Care to elaborate?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun#Alternation
(Thankfully, my mother tongue lacks grammatical gender and gendered
pronouns. (Unfortunately, its other idiosyncrasies more than make up for
it.))
Thanks,
lacos
Richard Heathfield
> On Mon, 5 Apr 2010, Richard Heathfield wrote:
>
>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>
>>> Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when
>>> they are referring to a person of either gender.
>>
>> Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
>
> Care to elaborate?
Not in a C group, no.
<snip>
bartc
"Richard Heathfield" <r...@see.sig.invalid> wrote in message
news:CJydnfg9j8gBcyTW...@bt.com...
> Ersek, Laszlo wrote:
>> On Mon, 5 Apr 2010, Richard Heathfield wrote:
>>
>>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>>
>>>> Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when
>>>> they are referring to a person of either gender.
>>>
>>> Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
>>
>> Care to elaborate?
>
> Not in a C group, no.
There've already been half-a-dozen exchanges which have nothing to do with
C, why stop now when other people are also curious?
--
bartc
Keith Thompson
Better late than never.
--
Keith Thompson (The_Other_Keith) ks...@mib.org <http://www.ghoti.net/~kst>
Nokia
"We must do something. This is something. Therefore, we must do this."
-- Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn, "Yes Minister"
REH
I thought that might have been a joke (i.e., Ada).
REH
Richard Heathfield
I choose to draw the line /somewhere/ rather than never draw it at all.
Besides, I've already answered his question in email.
blm...@myrealbox.com
REH <spam...@stny.rr.com> wrote:
> On Apr 5, 2:37 pm, "bartc" <ba...@freeuk.com> wrote:
> > "Richard Heathfield" <r...@see.sig.invalid> wrote in message
> >
> > news:CJydnfg9j8gBcyTW...@bt.com...
> >
> > > Ersek, Laszlo wrote:
> > >> On Mon, 5 Apr 2010, Richard Heathfield wrote:
> >
> > >>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
> >
> > >>>> Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when
> > >>>> they are referring to a person of either gender.
> >
> > >>> Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
:-) (Since Richard is being so cagy about what he means here, I won't
give it away either. But I'm glad of the support, so to speak.)
> > >> Care to elaborate?
> >
> > > Not in a C group, no.
> >
> > There've already been half-a-dozen exchanges which have nothing to do with
> > C, why stop now when other people are also curious?
> >
>
> I thought that might have been a joke (i.e., Ada).
>
Ada?? What am I not getting ....
--
B. L. Massingill
ObDisclaimer: I don't speak for my employers; they return the favor.
REH
> In article <820jk3F6m...@mid.individual.net>,
>
>
>
> blm...@myrealbox.com <blm...@myrealbox.com> wrote:
> > In article <23dbe7e1-aa62-45d4-8df3-ecb29a4d8...@22g2000vbg.googlegroups.com>,
> > REH <spamj...@stny.rr.com> wrote:
> > > On Apr 5, 2:37 pm, "bartc" <ba...@freeuk.com> wrote:
> > > > "Richard Heathfield" <r...@see.sig.invalid> wrote in message
>
> > > >news:CJydnfg9j8gBcyTW...@bt.com...
>
> > > > > Ersek, Laszlo wrote:
> > > > >> On Mon, 5 Apr 2010, Richard Heathfield wrote:
>
> > > > >>> Daniel Giaimo wrote:
>
> > > > >>>> Plenty of people use "her", or alternate between "him" and "her" when
> > > > >>>> they are referring to a person of either gender.
>
> > > > >>> Yes. Ignorance is rife. Or perhaps ignorance /are/ rife.
>
> > :-) (Since Richard is being so cagy about what he means here, I won't
> > give it away either. But I'm glad of the support, so to speak.)
>
> > > > >> Care to elaborate?
>
> > > > > Not in a C group, no.
>
> > > > There've already been half-a-dozen exchanges which have nothing to do with
> > > > C, why stop now when other people are also curious?
>
> > > I thought that might have been a joke (i.e., Ada).
>
> > Ada?? What am I not getting ....
>
>
> Unless he feels that all jokes are Ada, but that seems unlikely.
>
No, I meant "i.e." as in "that is." I thought he might be making a
joke because Ada has an elaboration phase and C doesn't.
REH
Daniel Giaimo
I think you meant (a la Ada) then. "I.e." means that what preceeds is,
in a sense, an equivalent of the latter, which is not the case here.
Well, not unless you consider the equivalent of Ada to be "a joke".
--
Dan G
REH
Whatever. "i.e." means "that is." "e.g." would be appropriate if I
were listing examples. I am not. In this case, Ada *is* what I was
inferring as the joke. The pedantry level in this group is reach
ridiculous levels. It's almost as bad a Slashdot. Do you really want
to argue ad nauseum over a freakin' joke?
REH
Keith Thompson
[...]
>> >>> In article
>> >>> <23dbe7e1-aa62-45d4-8df3-ecb29a4d8...@22g2000vbg.googlegroups.com>,
>> >>> REH<spamj...@stny.rr.com> wrote:
>> >>>> I thought that might have been a joke (i.e., Ada).
> Whatever. "i.e." means "that is." "e.g." would be appropriate if I
> were listing examples. I am not. In this case, Ada *is* what I was
> inferring as the joke. The pedantry level in this group is reach
> ridiculous levels. It's almost as bad a Slashdot. Do you really want
> to argue ad nauseum over a freakin' joke?
Was the point that you consider Ada, the programming language, to be a
joke? I'm not trying to argue, I just don't get the humor.
(And speaking of pedantry, I think you meant "implying" rather than
"inferring".)
REH
> Was the point that you consider Ada, the programming language, to be a
> joke? I'm not trying to argue, I just don't get the humor.
I thought he might be making joke about the use of the word
elaboration, when he said, "not in a C group." You know, because C
doesn't have elaboration. (I didn't say it was a good joke.)
>
> (And speaking of pedantry, I think you meant "implying" rather than
> "inferring".)
Sigh, no I don't. I was inferring something that he said (the
possiblity that his statement was a joke). I wasn't implying anything.
REH
Kenny McCormack
Kiki is wrong about everything all the time.
Thus, this comes as no surprise.
--
(This discussion group is about C, ...)
Wrong. It is only OCCASIONALLY a discussion group
about C; mostly, like most "discussion" groups, it is
off-topic Rorsharch revelations of the childhood
traumas of the participants...
REH
>
> Kiki is wrong about everything all the time.
>
> Thus, this comes as no surprise.
>
I prefer to assume it's just another example of my inability to
express myself clearly, than any fault of his.
No offense, but I'm not interested in being apart of your feud with
Mr. Thompson.
REH
Malcolm McLean
>
> No offense, but I'm not interested in being apart of your feud with
> Mr. Thompson.
>
Joe Wright
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_lovelace
..perhaps.
--
Joe Wright
"If you rob Peter to pay Paul you can depend on the support of Paul."
BGB / cr88192
"Daniel Giaimo" <dgi...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:hpcb2u$ie5$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
d33333wd...
> --
> Dan G
spinoza1111
> In article <319c3b56-00dc-4897-a0a9-b0a2dfee8...@l37g2000vbd.googlegroups.com>,
Kenny, do we have your vote? Shouldn't Seebach end this mess by
blanking "C: the Complete Nonsense" based on the analysis of three of
the smartest basterds here (Dr McClean, Jacques and myself)? Come on,
quit farting around. You KNOW these guys bully Schildt because they
can't code worth dick.
spinoza1111
Kiki rarely gets humor. Especially when he gravely approves a one-line
strlen with an off by one bug.
Hey, wait a minute, what am I doing here? This is blonde C jokes.
Bill Reid
> REH <spamj...@stny.rr.com> writes:
>
> [...]
>
> >> >>> In article
> >> >>> <23dbe7e1-aa62-45d4-8df3-ecb29a4d8...@22g2000vbg.googlegroups.com>,
> >> >>> REH<spamj...@stny.rr.com> wrote:
> [...]
> >> >>>> I thought that might have been a joke (i.e., Ada).
> [...]
> > Whatever. "i.e." means "that is." "e.g." would be appropriate if I
> > were listing examples. I am not. In this case, Ada *is* what I was
> > inferring as the joke. The pedantry level in this group is reach
> > ridiculous levels. It's almost as bad a Slashdot. Do you really want
> > to argue ad nauseum over a freakin' joke?
>
> Was the point that you consider Ada, the programming language, to be a
> joke? I'm not trying to argue, I just don't get the humor.
>
> (And speaking of pedantry, I think you meant "implying" rather than
> "inferring".)
>
Now THAT'S funny!!!
Just remember, we're laughing WITH you, not
AT you...keep 'em coming...
---
William Ernest Reid
Bill Reid
wrote:
But in order to be funny doesn't it usually have to
be true?...I've actually known several ravishingly
beautiful blond female programmers/computer scientists,
and frankly, they were AT WORST just the usual fakes
but with a better disposition than the phlegm-encrusted
doughboys who generally occupy the position...they
weren't stupid and they were pretty nice people
overall, so what's the joke?
---
William Ernest Reid