Not Your Typical Telecom/Radio Station Story
Roy M. Silvernail
which may be offensive to some readers. Although it *is* funny, it is
a little out of character for the Digest. This is the final article in
this issue, and if an excessive amount of profanity or vulgar
expressions would offend you, then you should quit reading this issue
at this time. PAT]
-------------
Many of the telecom/radio stories on the Digest have a technical theme.
Not this one ...
I was going through some old tapes from my radio days, and dug out a
little gem I obtained years ago in Nome, Alaska through a very strange
route. An ex-staff member hailed from Providence, Rhode Island, and
had returned after his stint was over. A few months later, the
station got a letter from him, with a little enclosure. 100 or so
feet of tape, wrapped around a piece of cardboard. There was a note
on the cardboard ... "It will be worth it."
We laboriously wrapped the tape onto a reel, and threaded it onto a
deck in the production studio. We found a hilarious parody of a New
York Telephone commercial, obviously done at the same session with
some legitimate spots. (radio pros already know that we passed these
things around a lot ... ask anybody with a copy of a PAMS Christmas
party).
The spot isn't anywhere near politically correct. I'm including a
copy with this article, but I leave it to PAT's discretion whether
this belongs in the Digest or the Archives. (but if you divert it,
PAT, please try to summarize :-)
New York Telephone Parody Commercial:
New York City ... it's still a hell of a town.
(music in and up. The girls sing "New York Telephone, mmm mmm mmm...")
At New York Telephone, we know that getting a malicious or obscene
phone call can really piss you off. If you get such a call, fuck it!
Hang up immediately. In most instances, that's enough to stop the
caller from becoming a pain in the ass.
Too often, though, people unwittingly encourage the caller by talking
back. Don't be a prick! You can't argue with a sick mind, so don't
try!
If hanging up quickly doesn't work, for shit's sake, don't panic.
Just call our business office. You'll find the number in the front of
your telephone directory. In persistant cases, our Annoyance Call
Bureau takes over to try and trap the fucker. Working with the
police, our Annoyance Call Bureau has been responsible for 844 arrests
and 54 abortions. And defendants have learned that a 10 cent phone
call can cost them as much as thousand dollars and jam their ass in
prison for a year.
At New York Telephone, we're in business to give you service ... and
part of our obligation is to see to it that no mother fucker abuses
that service! After all ... the service we give you is obscene
enough.
(Music up, the girls sing again, and out.)
Roy M. Silvernail |+| roy%cyb...@cs.umn.edu
[Moderator's Note: Blush. PAT]