Fwd: Funny Hallmark Quotes

[ashok viswanathan]

 

 

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card)   - I've changed my mind.  
 
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...  
(Inside card)   - I never believed in Hell until I met you.  
 
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....  
(Inside card) -   That you're not here to ruin it for me ..
 
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....  
(Inside card) -   Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.  
 
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....  
(Inside card) -   Almost lifelike!  
 
6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...  
(Inside card) -   Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.  
 
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....  
(Inside card) -   Did you ever find out who the father was?  
 
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and   there was only one life jacket...  
(Inside card)   - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .
 
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your   birthday...  
(Inside card)   - So we're having you put to sleep.  
 
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but   wonder.....  
(Inside card) -   What the   hell   was I thinking  
 
11. I'm so miserable without you...  
(Inside card) -   It's almost like you're still here.  
 
12. Thank you for being part of my life.....  
(Inside card) -   I never knew what evil was until I met you!  
 
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!  
(Inside card) -   Too bad no one likes your husband.  
 
14. How can I say this....  
(Inside card) -   Your cooking kills me  
 
15. Hooray.....  
(Inside card) -   You're divorced.  
 
16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...  
(Inside card) -   Especially since you survived.  
 
17. Congrats on getting married...  
(Inside card) -   It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.  
 
18. Someday I hope to marry...  
(inside card) -   Someone other than you.
 
19. We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) -   What do you say we stop?